adoption

@rinkub (231)
India
June 9, 2008 6:45am CST
I've always loved children and had hoped to have quite a few. I have a lovely eight-year-old boy. And now, my question. It took me a while to conceive him and he was delivered through a Ceasearean operation. The doctor then advised me not to go in for a second child for at least three years. Three years passed but by then we were involved in some serious personal and family problems and our life was pretty turbulent, to say the least. I could not even think of another child at that moment. But lately, it is my son who wants a sibling desperately. But, I know it is not possible as I'm 41 and although my husband and I have not been using any precautions, I've not conceived. Besides, I don't think I'm ready to bring up another child at this age though I would love to have more kids in the house for the sake of my son. He now wants us to adopt one. I'm apprehensive that I will not be able to do justice to that kid or will neglect my son in the effort to be extra caring towards the adopted kid. Moreover, I've seen instances where adopted kids invariably get to know of their status and the bonding is never the same as that with biological children. And, if the two kids grow up not liking each other, with no biological tie to bind them, it might create further problems between our biological son and our adopted child. But, I know our child really needs company at home. He is too involved with our adult lives. I am an only child too and I know, that despite having numerous good friends and a loving family, life can get very lonely without siblings. Any suggestions?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
10 Jun 08
They recommend you give your body 2 years or so anyway after a caesarean before you try again anyway, it takes a while for your body to recover after such a surgery! I think adoption would be a wonderful thing for you to do, you don't need to pick one the same age as your son - a few years younger isn't going to hurt - even a toddler would be an ok age to adopt. Your son obviously wants a sibling but you have to make the final decision yourself - are you happy to raise another child, especially since you know your son wants a brother or sister. As for whether the adopted child will want to know about his/her real family, i think it's only fair they know at some stage & they will always ask eventually but it wont be for a while. I'd consider looking in to adoption if you cant conceive naturally & then you can pick a suitable child (if you go ahead with it) that you think will best fit in with your family & one that you think your son will get along with & appreciate having as a sibling. I hope that helps you some! Good luck!
@rinkub (231)
• India
10 Jun 08
Thank you very much gemmygirl1!
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
9 Jun 08
You are not too old to have a child. Remember this is the time of modern technology. But it is good to consider adoption. There are so many children out there who need a nice couple and warm home to share love with. I hope you are successful if you go along with this because I know that it is a tedious journey.
@rinkub (231)
• India
9 Jun 08
Thank you very much for your best wishes, kerriannc. Let's see. It would really be lovely to hav another child at home. But, you are right. Nothing is really impossible today. Thanks for your encouragement.