How do you feel when your spouse or partner goes away on a trip?
By walijo2008
@walijo2008 (4644)
United States
June 11, 2008 4:27pm CST
Well this weekend my hubby will be gone on a fishing trip and he will only be gone 5 days, but I'm already dreading it, because I don't like being home by myself and I don't like him being gone. He will be leaving 3'o clock in the morning (thursday) he is going with one of his buddies. I thought I was getting better at it, because since we've been married he's been going on fishing and hunting trips every year. I always think okay, I'll be alright this time, but when the day comes for him to leave, I always dread it. At least now I don't cry anymore, I used to cry when he would leave...lol. Talk about a big baby, we've only been married 5 yrs. Can anyone tell me it gets better? Has anyone ever been in this situation, where your hubby is an outdoorsman and likes to go on trips like that and leaves you behind? Am I crazy or what, or do I just love my husband too much?...lol
2 people like this
9 responses
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
31 Oct 09
My husband is usually home 24/7 so, when he went to visit his father for a fortnight I actually felt great! It was so good to just have peace and quiet and not have to consider anyone else...Although I was still going to work as usual I could come home at whatever time I wanted & know there would be no-one wondering where I was. I only bought/cooked/ate food that I like etc etc. I spent most of my free time cleaning but it was good to be able to just get on with it.
Years ago, he used to work away from home during the week but I had the children with me so didnt feel lonely. At the age I am now, I dont think its good for me to be dependent on any single person & its important for me to be confident that I could cope on my own.
1 person likes this
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
2 Nov 09
I can see that now, it is good to be able to be by yourself sometimes, I can eat what I want, anytime I want, and don't have to worry about what I'm cooking for dinner tonight. I still miss him when he goes, but its just not that intense anymore, I can survive...I usually rent movies I want to watch, the chick flicks that he doesn't like..lol. Thanks..
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
26 Feb 09
I have never had a partner who went away on a trip but judging how I feel when I dont talk to my girlfriend for a day, I can only extrapolate to think that I would probably feel really out of place.I dont know if I would cry because of the (the so called stigma attached to that lol) but I would spend a lot of time really thinking about th person ,wondering what they are doing and what they would be doing if they were with you and most importantly wishing they come back soon
1 person likes this
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Yeah, I do spend alot of time thinking about him when he's gone and I can't wait for him to get back. One of these times I'm just gonna go with him, and he can't say anything about it..lol. Thanks.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
2 Oct 09
Well, my husband and I have been married for over 10 yrs. now, and I still do not enjoy having him gone over night at all. Personally since I do not drive, and choose not to drive, I feel safer in case anything was to happen knowing he is around as well. Since we just recently bought a New home and I do not really know anyone yet, I guess I would just have to hope for the best if he decides to ever go away for a night as well.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Well, a lot of it for me is due to Health problems as I am Diabetic, etc. and so it is often safest knowing he is close if need be, but from time to time I have let him go somewhere. Just never more than 1 night if he can help it, as he chooses it to be this way as well.
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Well I'm happy to say that I've gotten alot better at this, it doesn't bother me so much anymore when he goes away for a few days. I realized that its something that he wants to do and I can't stop him from going. He doesn't do that to me if I want to go somewhere overnight, so I shouldn't try to make him feel bad for leaving me behind, its taken awhile, but I'm getting there. He always comes back home to me...Thanks
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
my wife left me before for 6 months to work abroad, it was hell. there was no access for internet there. well there was but it was a country where the language was not that easy to speak. she went to japan. there was a lot of internet shop there but it was not translated in english so it was really difficult for her to go online. so we communicate through phone calls that we only do once a week. i was really sad so so sad. you are not crazy lucky for your husband and lucky for my wife that they have partners who are like we who missed them everytime they go away.
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Yes, they are lucky aren't they? I don't know what I would do if my husband wanted to go on a 6 month trip, I would probably try to go with him. If it was for work like your wife did, then there wouldn't be anything that you can do, just suck it up, and do the best you can. I can imagine what you felt like. You were probably both very glad when she came home. Thanks
@naseeha (1382)
• India
12 Jun 08
I dont actually cry becos my hubby goes out of town only for a day or two and even if he goes for more days i wont cry i guess because my hubby does nt like to see me cry and crying is not going to stop him.
But i feel the sadness and loneliness brewing up and i await the day of his return eagerly
1 person likes this
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Yeah, I hear ya...I don't cry no more either, cause I know that won't work, he'll still go..lol. yeah, the first day is hard, and I usually can't sleep that first night either,but after a day or so I'm alright, then its time for him to come home and I'm glad to see him. My nephew is here with me to keep me company but its only Friday and we're running out of stuff to do, my hubby won't be back till Monday evening. Thanks...
@yanzalong (18987)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 09
I used to feel worried about her being away from me. I was worried about her falling in love with another. That was the past. Now not anymore. The only worry is now related to her safety. Remember, don't let jealousy eat your heart.
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
2 Feb 09
Yeah, it doesn't bother me that much anymore, I kinda like having time to myself and doing what I want to do, and spending more time with girlfriends and family. I do worry about his safety more too, I always tell him to be sure to let me know when he gets there, so I'll know he made it alright...Thanks
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Oct 09
i dont see why you couldnt go with him? this all sounds a bit fishy to me do you ever get to go on trips with your gf's? my late hubby used to have to go on business trips sometimes. Id either go with him if i could take off work or sleep with his tshirt and pillow he'd call me every day/night also or i could call him. this is a year old. hows things now?
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
16 Oct 09
Things are better now..I'm starting to get over it, I'm actually getting to where I don't mind having the house to myself for a few days, I can do whatever I want, and watch whatever I want on tv..lol. I don't have to sit here watching boxing all the time..lol. He does call me when he's gone, and gives me updates on what he's been doing. I know that no matter how I feel about it, he's still going to go, its something he likes to do...Thanks
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
20 Oct 09
Well I am in a long distance relationship now and I believe me there are times when I wish the person was close by me .So I can only extrapolate from that and multiply my longings by at least ten when it comes to a spouse .I mean this is someone that yuo spend days ,weeks ,months and for some years and they have been with you every morning when you awake and every night when you go to sleep .You understand their mannerisms and their routines and can almost predict what they are going to do even before they do it.Consequently to wake up or go to sleep and they are not there must be hell like a part of you is missing and the longing for that part of yuo to complete you must be intense.Great discussion .
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I've gotten better at it now, I no longer get so depressed when I know he's getting ready to go somewhere. Its usually something he really wants to do and I know I can't make him stay home, he wouldn't do that to me if I wanted to go someplace. I guess I'm just growing up..lol. Thanks
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
14 Oct 09
I'd like to say that you'll get over it. And that give it a few more years, and you wouldn't be able to stand having him around all the time. That you will need your own space, and maybe you could go on a trip with your own girlfriends. Turn the tables and see how he likes it. If you have kids, all the better. Let him do all the housework, and you take your breaks.
Remember, absence makes the heart go (wander, just kidding) fonder...
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
16 Oct 09
I am starting to get over it, its taken awhile, but I feel that we don't have to do EVERYTHING together. I do get to go places with my girlfriends, or I'll take my mom somewhere. Sometimes I enjoy having the house to myself, I can do whatever I want then..lol...Thanks