Making different food for different children at the same meal

I think that would spoil the children in addition to being a lot of effort. People can't always get what they want and they will be much better adjusted if they can learn to be happy with what they get. I think it's also a copout when parents let children skip eating vegetables because they don't like them. They should eat the food they're given and not worry so much about how much they like it. I'm not saying that parents shouldn't be inflexable, but it's more important for children to be happy with what they have.

My parents never fixed us multiple meals. If we wanted something different than what was for dinner, we were allowed to make ourselves a sandwich, but we had to make it and clean it up. If a child has food allergies or intolerances, it's a different story, of course. I can understand doing it, if nothing else but to keep the peace and keep the kids from whining. I'm sure, with that many kids, it's probably a rare thing to have thirty minutes free of whining and bickering!

I wouldn't. I know my mother-in-law does it...and she makes different dishes for everyone in the house. I don't want to be cooking all day and I don't want to spoil everyone in the family. Even now, my husband doesn't like what my son likes and my son doesn't like what my husband does....but both of them have to eat what I cook. Somedays I cook what one of them likes and the other has to eat it. Somedays I cook what I like and they both have to eat it even if they don't like it. I'm not giving them poison.

Your friend is overworking herself for sure!!! I am with you, I would have fixed the same thing for all the children. I was taught that if you didn't like what was fixed for dinner one night, either you found something else for yourself, or you didn't eat. What she is doing is spoiling these kids, making them think that in life they will always get what they want. They need to learn that sometimes you take what you can get.

I grew up in a family of 8 kids and my parents, so that made 10 of us. There was no way in h?ll that my mother would cook different things for us. She cooked one thing (meal) and everyone ate it or ate nothing. So since it seems to have worked for us, I raised my kids the same way. I hope they raise their kids the same way, when the time comes that they have kids, because I think it is not good to spoil your kids by cooking different meals for everyone. This is just my opinion, my friend.

My kids sometimes try to pull this one on me too.I admit that sometimes I will fall for it but the majority of the time I put my foot down and say no.I make everyone the same thing most of the time,lol.

ersmommy1, I hear about so many families who have 3 and 4 different meals at the same time with parents preparing a separate meal for each child. I think I am with you on this one, because I think kids need to learn cooperation, teamwork, and that they can't always have their way about something like what's for each meal each day. It would be interesting to inquire of these parents what they are trying to accomplish by giving in to the whims of each child every day. Thanks for the very thought-provoking discussion. PearlGrace

I tell my kids to eat what they get or don't eat at all. That is just too much wasted food that way also. I have 4 boys, two are now adults and they still follow the same rule. Now my one son doesn't like sauce on pasta and so I will set a bowl aside for him with nothing on it to eat, but this in the only time and I am not really making anything really different.

I try making all of my kids the same thing most of the time for lunch. Occasionally though I will give them a couple of choices, but nothing to difficult, sometimes there will be some leftovers but not enough for everyone so if one of the kids wants the leftovers they can have it and I will fix the other kids something else. My daughter and younger son really like hot dogs, but my middle child hates them, so I will make them hot dogs and him something else, because I think since they like hot dogs they should be able to eat them. For dinner however. everyone gets the same thing.

I guess you learn to pick your battles. I think you need to get the kids to eat something, but it can be hard enough to get my daughter to eat what I've prepared. I can't imagine the complications of appeasing multiple kids. Growing up, we ate what was prepared or grazed off the front lawn. No discussion.

Thats the very thing we've been going thru that past week. My nephew is here visiting and he is so picky, he doesn't like anything, even if he's never tried it. It makes me frustrated when he gets like that, he'll ask what we're having and immediately he'll say, I'm not eating because I don't like that. I just tell him that he can be hungry then, because I'm not making anything else. I think it makes more work for you when you do that, my hubby's always saying that too. Thats how I grew up, whenever we were having something we didn't like it was too bad we'll either eat or be hungry. My grandma didn't make anything extra, she already had dinner cooked, whether we liked it or not. My sister is a picky eater and both her boys are the same way. I asked him, what do you eat at home? He said his mom doesn't make anything they don't like, which its usually fast cooking foods.

I would have never done that, both of my girls ate what was on the table. That is ridiculous!

Now a days children make mess if we donot give them there taste,instead of cooking all the time we can also prefer ready made or instant food,so it will be quick and easy.

wow your friend must have a lot of spare time on her hands... And sounds like she is really spoiling her kids.

I can't say much because whwen my little 7 year old siste is here I tend to fix her what she wants while I fix other food for the others. I have fixed as many as three meals at once before. Well I think maybe she ask them what they want and they maybe tell her. She should maybe give them only 2 options. And if the kids were old enough to get there own and make a pb&j then they should. I will soon be teaching my little sister little things here and there she has already learned to cook a few things on the george foreman grill especially her favorite hamburgers and hot dogs. Not really sure I should teach her anything that involves boiling water or really splattery foods. Although she wants to learn to make Spaghetti and meat sauce.

No way would I give all my kids something different to eat at meal time. One meal eat it or go with out. But I will say this That I might have mead the mac and cheese and the pbj to go together since if the mac& cheese was made with white pasta really is just empty calories. With 6 girls I woundn't think that she would have time to fix individual meals.

I never did that for my kids. I made one meal for everyone, if they didn't like it they either ate it anyways or went hungry. They usually ate it anyways. For the most part I wouldn't make things that we didn't like, but every now and then it would happen. When they got older they would make their own and have to clean it up and everything.

Iagree with you unless someone had an intolerance or allergy problem. Even so I'd try to make the same stuff for all. If they do not like something there should still be something on the table for them to eat I am ot in favor of force feeding anyone though. I myself cannot eat liver. I get ill from trying and throw up. But I have tried. Several times. No I just eat the vegetables etc when others have liver. Itis not good to encourage picky eating. Kids need a variety of foods. Noone would get to eat only white bread with Pb&J in my house. Or chips, as I read about in an other thread here

Wow! Spoiled much? LOL! It really sounds like your friend doesn't have control of her kids. It sounds like they have control of her. My Mom made a meal and, we ate the meal together. If we didn't like an item in the meal, too bad. We either filled up on the side dishes or ate the main dish. Period. She didn't make one thing for me, one thing for my sis, one thing for my bro and one thing for her and my dad. And, neither would I. Granted, my hubby likes Chicken Souvlaki and I don't so, when I make it for him, I will make myself something else but, I wouldn't go out of my way for more than just him and me. Sorry but, that is just too much. That is basically telling her kids that they rule everything. That all they have to do is say, "No, I don't like that" and the world will bend over backwards to please them and accommodate for them. They might do that in a restaurant where each person can order what they like but, your common household kitchen is not like that and it shouldn't be like that. Your friend aught to re-examine things. She aught to figure out who is the adult in the house. Who makes the decisions! Not the kids...that should be her first hint!

I have 4 children that are all very close in age. At breakfast I will let them choose what they want only if everyone is having the same kind of breakfast. They can each have a different cereal or different waffle but I am not going to run and make eggs for one and oatmeal for another. Same with lunch, I am pretty easy at lunchtime and my kids are pretty much old enough to make their own sandwiches if they want something different. Dinner is everyone eats the same thing. When I plan my dinners, I always make sure that there is something in each meal that I know everyone will eat. If I know one will each chicken, and one will eat green beans and two will mashed potatoes then I know that they will each have something they really like and only have to have a little of what ever else there is. And if I am making something that my husband really likes and I know that the kids will absolutely not eat it then I bend and make them something else (but for all of them, not each one individually!!)