What would you Do?

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My SIL 40th birthday is coming up. When her husband turned 40 she threw him a really cool birthday and it was a surprise in Las Vegas NV we live in Seattle. Anyway, she worked really hard on it to make sure all his friends were there, and everything. IT was a really good time she pulled it off and did a really good job. Well he is having a party for her quite a few actually but nothing that is going to be out of the state. My MIL is going to get her a really nice spa package which is nice. Okay so here is the dilemma... My sil's parents are divorced. THey (My sil and hubby) do not get along with their mom. BIL has planned a couple of parties for my SIL. One is a get together that is going to be at their home. IT is going to be on the 29th of this month. At their house. My BIL is going to be having a surgery early next week so that is why we are doing this family party. Well, my MIL has sent a big long email wanting to plan the whole thing with food and everything. Well, I thought it was strange that she was going to be doing it on the same day that I had heard my FIL wanting to do a get together. So I called FIL to ask what was going on with that and that is when I found out that they were all going to be at my SIL home for the event and that they were aware it would be best to have it at SIL's house because that way my MIL would not feel awkward... Well,then when I talked with FIL's wife, she said that they were going to be providing the meal and that we would all be potlucking it. I think that is fine, I have no problem doing that at all. But I am not sure if MIL knows that FIL will be there too, NOr am I sure if MIL realizes that FIL is also looking to bring food....it is just odd. Anyway, I am tempted to write back to everyone and make sure it goes smoothly because it is not going to be good for the 40 year old birthday girl to have to deal with her parents fighting at her own home....I would not like it at all...plus I know that her hubby (My bil) would be in trouble for planning a terrible party ... My hubby does not want me to say a thing, he just wants me to sit back and do nothing and let my BIL figure it out...I just feel bad for my SIL because I know that if I were turning 40, 1. not a good age to turn, 2. have to deal with a crappy party with her parents on her 40th? NO FUN! What would you do? Would you contact BIL and discuss it? OR should I just not do anythning and respect my Hubbys' wishes?