is it possible...
By only1shi
@only1shi (404)
United States
June 13, 2008 1:03am CST
i have a question that has been bothering me for about two years now. i have this friend that i met just before i got married. and right out of the gate, we've been very close. he just gets me. we have a lot of the same interests, we've had a lot of the same experiences with relationships and we have great conversations. for a while, it felt like there could've been something more between us. my best friend tells me that this was probably just pre-wedding jitters and that i was looking for an outlet to relieve some of my anxiety. looking back, this is very possible. but at the time, i would've never agreed.
part of the reason why i knew that things would never move forward- aside from the fact that i was about to get married- was that we were in two extremely different places in our lives. i was independent, he was taking care of family and still trying to get out on his own. financially, we were very incompatible. and there were no sparks. he actually kissed me once, and whatever feelings i thought were there, went completely out the window!
we're still very close friends now and i think that he's finally accepted that there will never be an "us". we've actually joked around and said that this life isn't the right timing for us, but the next lifetime will be ours. if you believe in an afterlife and a next life, do you think that it's possible to find your love for that life?
please, be very honest. i'm curious to know how you guys will respond.
2 people like this
4 responses
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
13 Jun 08
You have not mentioned about your relationship with your spouse. Do you love your spouse and show the same or more amount of concern for him, as you show for your friend? It is not bad to maintain a healthy relationship with your 'friend', but not at the cost of your married relations with your spouse. If you feel like comparing both of them, that may also be not very good, because a 'spouse' is 'spouse' and 'friend' is a 'friend', both cannot substitute each other. I would say, if you are honest in your approach towards your married life and your friendship with your friend and you feel comfortable, no harm in maintaining relationship with the other man. Also, please listen to inner-self.
2 people like this
@only1shi (404)
• United States
13 Jun 08
my relationship with my husband is great. we bond over different things. with some aspects of our relationship, we're very opposite, but it works for us. my husband and my friend are also friends (mind you, not at close, but friends none the less.) i've never thought seriously about any sort of relationship with my friend, but i think that because our friendship was so instant and harmonious, it just made me think.
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
13 Jun 08
If you and your spouse are 'comfortable' in your friendship with another person, you may carry on. Best of Luck!
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
Well I guess there are partnerships that are made just like that. There is no more attractions then mere friends. I think that is pretty normal. I have a friend just like that. We share our experiences/problems with one another but there is nothing that develops beyond that. It is just plain friendship and comapnionship I guess. I find her rather attractive but it did made me pursue to go beyond what we have right now.
2 people like this
@CinderInMySoul (4717)
• United States
13 Jun 08
ive always thought that we come back until we get it right. what that "right" may be, i havent a clue lol. and sure if there is truly a thing as a soul-mate then its possible that you 2 would have come together at various times (as lovers or as only friends) in past lives. perhaps the whole idea of "another lifetime" or reincarnation is all about finally finding and truly "being with" your one soulmate..and thereafter you 2 would move onto another existence in happiness and bliss.
who knows right? nobody can be 100% sure until they get there or go thru it themselves. unless you have blind faith (which i certainly dont lol) in which case you still might be wrong lol!
1 person likes this
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
13 Jun 08
I believe very strongly in past and future lives. When when children were both babies, you could look into their eyes and know they had been here before.
Perhaps you were lovers in a previous life, which could explain why you felt such an instant bond and connection with him. However maybe there were problems which is why you felt no sparks when he kissed you.
I knew a man once who believed that him and I had met in a past life and would met again in the future. We had a very strong connection, he wanted us to marry, he truly believed that I was his soul mate. For me though I didn't think it was right. However, I still think of him, and whenever we see each other it is very strange. I am now married and he in a long term relationship with a child to a woman he doesn't love but she gave him a child and that is all he really wanted in life.
Life is a curious mystery that slowly unravels one day at a time. Good luck on your journeys through this life and the next
