Should you always cut ties with your ex?

Dr. Phil is the last person I would expect to give anyone sound advice. The author of the article I've linked below describes him as "a fat guy who hates himself" and I couldn't have said it better. Hang out with whom you please.

I hang out at times with my ex husband. Our divorce was mutual and we are great friends. We have a daughter together and it's much better for her as well. He was a crappy husband but a great friend. He has been there for me a lot lately with some rough life stuff. I wouldn't trade him for the world anymore.

Coffeeshot, maybe you and your ex were meant to be friends? My high school sweetheart and I are still very good friends and talk a few times a year. I am attached to him like I would be any friend. Good friend, a friend I do not want to live with out. You do not have to justify this to anyone much less DR Phil.

Sorry Dr Phil but I think you are wrong to generalize like that.If you and your ex were good friends before you became romantic then why not hang out? If you remained friends and there are no romantic ties anymore, then why not remai close friends? I can see where it could be a little dangerous if one partner is trying to get back together and the other isn'But if you two both agree that your romance is over but the friendship remains , then why not hang out?

I happen to come across your discussion when I put up my discussion about my ex wishing my birthday. Just a wish from my ex has surprised me to some extent. According to me, I would never hang out with my ex. It's not just bringing old feelings back, it is difficult for me to move on with my life alone.

As long as you two parted on good terms, there is nothing wrong with staying friends as long as you both want it that way. After all, you were friends before it became serious.

Well my best friend is actually one of my exes. We don't spend all our free time together and we have both had other relationships, but we go out and we talk almost every day either by phone or in person, and just generally do what close friends do. However, it took time to get to the stage we're at now. Our romantic relationship didn't finish one day and straight away the next day we were friends. In the immediate aftermath of the break-up we hardly spoke to each other, and even when we were on good terms again it was still a while before I was really ok with everything - although I pretended to be ok with everything of course! So I don't think you should always cut all ties with an ex but on the other hand I don't think you can split up one day and the next day just hang out together as friends and nothing more. I think it's best to leave it alone for a while until both parties have really "moved on" from the relationship.

One of my ex-boyfriends and I tried to be friends when we broke up, and ended up breaking up a grand total of four times because of that--we just kept getting back together. We finally got to the point where we both agreed that no contact at all was what we needed, and I've barely spoken to him since, which I think is for the best. On the other hand, I still occasionally talk to my ex-husband, though it's rare. I think in some relationships, you just realize that you're better being friends than lovers, and it works out fine. I wouldn't say I'm good friend with my ex-husband, but I know that we could have a civil conversation and even potentially hang out without any difficulty.

In my experience, I would have to say that hanging out with the ex will bring back old feelings for the wrong reasons. For the past 3 years, I hung out with the ex because I thought that I wanted to be friends with him. During the entire time that I hung out with him, I kept thinking about all the possibilities of what might of happened if we had stayed together. I even thought that the feelings may of returned because we got along great when we weren't together. Needless to say, it did start fights between us and we no longer speak to each other.

I dont think there is a problem with spending time with an ex if it is very clear on how u guys feel. I actually am best friends with my ex. we still do almost anything for each other, and he has a girlfriend and he still hangs out with me and stuff like that.

You could not have paid me money to spend time with my ex. for many many years i didn't even speak to him!

Well it depends on the person and the sort of relationship they had. If it was a relationship along the lines where they hardly talked then cutting ties won't be that hard at all and should be done. However if you and your ex used to be friends before you began your relationship than I suggest you won't, just remember him/her as the friend before you guys started your relationship and there shouldn't be a problem

I guess my question would be whats the point? If you didn't get along well enough to stay together why be with each other now? My son is going thru a similar problem right now. He is going thru a divorce and his soon to be ex wants to "hang out" with him - even though she spends her nights in someone else's bed. My son just doesn't quite know what to make of this or how to feel. I've told him for the kids sake, to stay on polite terms, but otherwise I'd suggest not "hanging out" together. For me - I wouldn't want to spend any time with my ex. I didn't when married to him either. LOL

My husband and I divorced and remained friends. Actually we became very good friends and still carried on our own lives seperately. Old Feelings for the wrong reason? Utter crap.

If you were friends before the engagment, that's fine. If you are not currently looking to make a new relationship, fine. It really depends on why you ended the relationship. My sister had a boyfriend that was pretty easy going until they got engaged, then he started getting possessive. She broke it off, but still was seeing him until she finally decided that the time was right to end it. I never cared for him so the year I was home out of college and she was in 12th grade, I never missed an opportunity to give him a hard time. Mind you, only by showing him up as the narrow minded fellow he was. I mean, he wouldn't eat "ferign food."

Every individual persons situations are different sweetheart and if you guys are happy spending time together and it works then that is ok for you! I have had to keep in touch with my ex because of our son and it definitely never brought back those old feelings for me! xxx

Yeah i think that you should back right off from an ex. The fact you are even posting the questions concludes you are thinking about him too much and in the wrong way! lol take doctor phils advice the ex will only reattatch themselves to old emotions and without real hope of ever getting back together just ends up spat out again.

In our culture, its not anymore good to see "ex's" hanging around, especially when both of you or even just one of you is already married. Even a simple communication is not anymore permissible. I think Dr. Phil is right. Actually I would want it personally. I wanted to maintain a communication with my ex (the latest)just for old time sake. Knowing that she is okay together with her family is good especially that we never was given a chance to talk before I get married. We even didnt have a formal break up. But just as Dr. Phil said, it might bring back the old feelings and that would mean BIG problem considering you both have your own family already.

Hello, coffeshot, i will not if he doesn't hate me and he doesn't have a girlfriend. Then i'd know i can still stand by his side if he met problems. I will always be there for him. But i won't hang out with him, i will meet him if there is a need. Cutting ties with my ex is difficult for me, it took years for me to get out of time spending together with him, i know it sucks, but i just can't do it. Yeah, i will cut ties with him if he's find his new partner, or he hates me so much that he doesn't want to keep in touchu with me, but i will still remember him and miss him for quite a long time. Actually i myself don't know when did start forgetting him gradually. Time's magic Anyway, stay happy with you ex, cherish your happiness and hope his problem will be solved soon **Enjoy life~~**

I thinks so! It is not necessary to still have communication if you ended up fine with the past relationship.