Today is a depressing day for me

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Father's Day is always depressing for me, but I try to make the best of it for my girls and DH. DH wanted to go crabbing so he left early this morning to see if the blue crabs are running up this way in Maryland yet. He should be home by noon. The reason why I am so blue. I lost my "dad" in 1984, when I was 22 years old. Then in 2004, I lost my mom. After she passed away I learned that my dad was not my biological dad. So here I am 46 years old and don't know who my birth father is. My maternal grandparent's passed away in 1984 and 1985, so I can't asked them. I can't find my mom's one brother, who might know something but he was only 13 when I was born. So he probably doesn't know much. I did learn his name about 2 years ago but time is working against me, because he is probably in his late 60's. I can't afford to pursue through private investigation and the listing of his last name there are a ton in the Baltimore, Maryland area. It's funny but every time we are out I always look at older men, wondering could you be my dad? Some people say I would be opening Pandora's box but I feel like there is a part of me missing. I wonder if this man ever thinks about me? He knew my mom was pregnant because he left her standing at the alter, literally. So if you have the opportunity, hug your dad today a little extra today!