is my boyfriend really seeing another girl?
@littlelovebug (9)
Singapore
June 15, 2008 9:48am CST
we have been together for 4years.we started this relationship with marriage in mind and had great memories.we were perfect match and he was a sensible boyfriend.always there for me to support and comfort.i am so used to life with him and always look for him for a pair of listening ears,for suggestion.i feel something is missing if we don't talk over the phone for the day.he is more than a boyfriend to me like a soulmate.last 6 months back,he started to avoid going out with me,seldom call or reply my sms.he doesn't want to talk for long when i call.he said many excuses like not feeling well,busy with work,study,got to sleep early.worst thing is he said busy when i ask him out and he would be out with friends(according to him)when i call and ask where he is.i complained why he no longer cares n loves me as he used to be.he asked for a break for a few months to have our own space.i know i still love him and can't live without him.i m puzzled and hurt why he changed so much.i thought it could be misunderstanding and he might be feeling down at times.i pleaded to have a patch.but we always fight when we meet or over the phone.conversation will lead to argument.thought of he might be seeing another girl never comes across my mind as i trust him so much.so i give in most of the time though it is not my fault everytime we have a fight.recently i had a shocking news that he is seeing other girls past 6 months.it hurts me badly as i trusted him so much.i asked him and he denied that.he said he only had me for past 4 years n just makes new friends with girl.he said he intend to marry me.i would break up if he confess.but now i m confused what to do.i m still haunted by that thought of he might be flirting.please advise me.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@littlelovebug (9)
• Singapore
15 Jun 08
that is my biggest fear.i will be very miserable to face the truth.that s why i m sticking around.i should have courage to let go
@littlelovebug (9)
• Singapore
18 Jun 08
i tried not to contact him these days.He called me and talked to me past 2 days as like last time.but i m not happy like before.i only think should i continue or will i be happy if i continue.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
i think your man has love the loving feeling for you. 4 years is long.. and yes if you do not do something about that 4 years it may seem that he got bored with your relationship. i am sorry for being blunt... you said he was always there for you, ready to listen and all, were you like that to him? or the relationship was one sided and all he did was listen to all your problems? i am hurting you, i know... you never did mention if you were the same to him... im just making an assumption here.
if you cannot make him tell you the truth about him seeing other girls, i guess you have to let it go. you wouldnt want to waste another month, or year with him if he is not completely honest with you.
1 person likes this
@littlelovebug (9)
• Singapore
17 Jun 08
ya i am same to him.i always listen to his problems n suggest him as well.last 1 and half years i further studied and didn't give much time to him.then he no longer shares his problem to me anymore.so i try to give him more time now as i finished studies.but he is not willing to go out or spend time with me.
@littlelovebug (9)
• Singapore
16 Jun 08
i also think he is not committed as before or may b not as much as me.i want to move on.but i m emotionally too attached to him.
@ChristLikeFarmer (563)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
As you can see my dear hes immature not ready for a real relationship. Those four years are nothing but puppy love or merely an infatuation. Reality bites! Dont let love blind you love is not the only thing that keeps you alive in this world. If I were you Id enjoy myself first rather than wasting time with him. Let him be for now someday he will realize that its his lost. Relax! your still young plenty of men are out there mature wise and responsible. Your not human if you dont know love hurts... and it sure do hurts a lot... :D
@littlelovebug (9)
• Singapore
17 Jun 08
i will see a few months,if he continue treating me this way n doesn't reciprocate,i will stand up n move on.i should have enough mindset to pick myself up by then
thanks for all or urs support and advices.i no longer feel lost after reading all of ur replies
@nikecold (91)
• India
16 Jun 08
Hey LittleLoveBug,
If you love him truely and if he does really mean a lot for you and if it is the same case with him as well, then no one in this universe will have that much capacity or will have that much ability to saperate you.
Buddy i don't know who you are, what you are, where are you from, how you look like but in love this is not to be considered at all. If you want to talk to me (If possible give me a call 9873300107), otherwise chat with me at nikecold@gmail.com we can as a friend can suggest a lot things for those friends who are having problems like this.
Anyways, let me know how much you love him, what can you do for him (please don't do anything with your life, as life is precious believe me). what had you given to him (in this point i am telling you a lot, so here you can consider me your BROTHER) so don't hesitate to tell me, believe me, might be i will suggest you a good thing which you can follow, because i am a boy as well and i am also in love, i can understand.
What all have you done for eachother, remind you as well as your Boyfriend (BF), send him mail regarding this.
Let me know as well is he alone, working, or studying.
Let me know about yourself as well.
So buddy you BRO (if you believe so) is here, don't worry, ask anything and might be possible i will suggest you good things..
Bye Take Care.
1 person likes this
@littlelovebug (9)
• Singapore
17 Jun 08
i love him like a boyfriend,bro,best friend.i can do anything for him except intimate things.i m willing to wait to make him change his mind.but i don't want to waste anymore time if he is not worthy.i don't want to be root cause of separation because of my own worries and doubts.he is my first love n i m also his first love.i remind him of our sweet memories but he said that is past and doesn't want to continue if i m agitating like current situation.I am not agitating,just insecure and need reassurance.I told him i need reassurance.now i forgive and forget as nothing has happened(as i can't do anything if he really did see girls) to give ourselves a chance or rather to give him a chance.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
18 Jun 08
i can understand the scenario. in many cases similar things happen. the person just avoids you. its pity i guess. what he is doing is not right. i know all individual needs the spavce, but it seems he is just avoidig you. just do not contact him for some days. act as he is doing now, see what he feels.
@meiyeec511 (405)
• Malaysia
16 Jun 08
Actually this kind of problem, third person quite hard to give opinion.
May be you could give some time to your boy friend to think it. But don't make it too long. Else it's really hard to continue.
1 person likes this
@focjop20 (232)
• Puerto Rico
16 Jun 08
That's what else you need, go out there and begin the search for true love and understanding; and forget about the old misunderstood lover or so called boyfriend. Seems he doesn't got what he really wanted from you, but he got it from some body else. Do you understand what I mean. Be happy you still got it, the other don't. Let him see how sweet revenge is.
1 person likes this
@gloreymay (882)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
Oh sorry to hear that! Ahhh! Boys are sometimes unsatisfied despite the fact that you gave him everything and had done your best. I had experience that too. My X boyfriend is sending a txt message saying I love you to a girl and I don't know who. Seeing the message, I really felt bad that time because I think I'm not ready to leave him but later I realize he his not worthy of me so I broke up with him and now I'm happy with my life.
1 person likes this
@littlelovebug (9)
• Singapore
15 Jun 08
but 4 years is not a short term.i m still mourning of his usual self and dreaming love will come back to me.but i m sufferring
