When you know someone is depressed do you shun them?

As one that has suffered with depression herself I can tell you that it is hard to deal with someone who is depressed. When I was severly depressed nothing anyone said or did would make a scrap of difference to how I felt when they had gone. I could be OK while someone was with me,cheering me up but nothing would change for me inside. I do not shun depressed people but it is hard to know what to say to them without it sounding patronising. I found my own way to get through it by just deciding that I was not going to waste the best years of my life being depressed over things that I had absolutely no control over, now that worked for me although I still go through bad patches. But everyone is different and so has to find the way that works for them. I am really sorry that you are feeling so depressed and I do hope that you can find a way to combat it without the need to seek therapy or pills, pills are the pits they just mask everything anyway. Take care xx

My husband has PTSD with depression so there are times when he is severely depressed. I don't shun him when he's down and I don't try to be a cheerleader because, as you well know, it doesn't help to hear that when you're feeling bad. Sometimes I sit with him and sometimes I leave him alone...I take my cues from him. You say that you know what you need. Is there some reason you're not using/doing whatever it is? Is your depression clinical/physical or is it due to the stress that you're under and is this stress temporary or permanent? You can tell me to take a hike for asking you these questions if you don't want to answer. It won't hurt my feelings.

Dangnabit....It sounds like you need to listen to some soothing Music and then get in to a Hot Political Debate. That always Cheers me up , when I throw a couple o' Black eyes at my opponant! G'day!

I dont shun them...I give them the space they need. When they dont need a ton of space I'm there to talk to or just to be with. I'd hate for someone to pressure me into talking when I'm not happy about something and I respect that others feel that way too...and that when they are ready to talk...they will. If its clinical depression I'll make sure that a family member gets the help they need medically..and a friend I'll help as much as I'm allowed to.

i would never shun you. I would keep my distance if that is what you need (I rarely leave the house and I just want to be left alone with my tears). People that have been helped with medication will promote it to others. Pills will not help us all. therapy can help some but it may not help everyone. I think poeple should be educated more on this because it effects everyone. I hope you do not "run" and if you do ... come back. There are a lot of us out there that understand you and care. My shoulders are bigger now (thanks to the endless medication changes) and softer..if you ever need one to lean on (or cry I am here for you. Please take care of yourself dangnabit67†

i try to cheer them up.. even if its a temp thing at least make them smile or laugh.. i drive people crazy since i hate seeing people sad around me so i will try anything to hopefully help.. if you dont want to do therapy and pills then all you have is family, friends and something to make you laugh.. can you maybe take a weekend trip some where to get away from your life right now?? maybe escape reality?? it helps some times even though it sounds stupid.. i hope you start feeling better soon.. i know how depression is and i def know i do NOT want to hear that "bull-hockey" either lol.. so many people love to spew it.. and a lot of those people havent experience true depression either so they dont even have a clue

Quite often, what worked for me to help a depressed person feel better is my wild sense of humor. However, I would have to be physically in the same room with the depressed person. Quite often, having a friend just physically there with you does help.

I don't shun depressed people. Not anymore. This is because when people are feeling critically down, then that means something is seriously wrong. I don't tell depressed people to "get over it", or "it's all in your head" or anything like that. If people say that to the depresseed, then that might either slow down their recovery rate (i've read that somewhere in a pamphlet about the same issue) or mess them up even further and might cause neurosis or something worse. You can't expect the depressed to be better overnight. That's not how it works at all. You'll do much damage that way. Also, telling others to cheer up or something similar won't help either. It'll just be the same as the above. Also, you're right about it not being therapy and pills, because it isn't enough. If it gets so bad that the depressed person tries to kill himself/herself, seek help for that person at once!!

As previously stated by other posters, speeches about life getting better or changing your outlook on life rarely helps a depressed person. The severity of the depression may be a key component about keeping a depressed person safe, such as hospitalization. But if you know what you need to help your depression, then you are one step ahead of the rest of us. Sometimes just telling someone you need them to listen to you without judgment or fear is enough. Having someone give you a shoulder to cry on is enough. If you are able to tell others what you need to help you with your depression and it is within his/her power to give it to you, then take them up on their offers. It's always a good thing to know what you need and how to ask for it.

How do you deal with a person who is depressed? with extreme care my friend, walking on eggshells all the while.I do not shun them I just let them do the talking as if I would start with the merry sunshine bit they would be ready to choke me. so pour out your troubles and I will listen without saying all the things you might think I am going to say. Just let me absorb and mull over your thoughts and tell me if you want an answer from me. lol.

i have been feeling much like you lately. i am not always this way but so much has gotten to me lately and i have so much to deal with. i am like you in that i do not want to hear the usual platitudes like hang in there and blah blah blah. it is meaningless. i just need for something big to get better in my life. i try my best each and every day but i am down. people do back off from me as they are happy living their lives and cannot understand why i am not happy like they are. not sure what they could do to help anyway to be honest.

Well i certainly would not ignore them. a lot of times people are depressed because they have problems, and they think that no one cares about them. The best thing I can do, In my opinion, is to be there for them, even if its to just sit with them through whats bothering them and not say a word, though i try and get a person to talk cause sometimes it helps to talk about their problems.

At the end of last year, I felt like something was wrong with me. My father had passed away in November and I wasn't taking it well. I consummed myself into school, work and family. Nothing seemed to help. I went to see my doctor and he told me that it was perfectly normal to feel this way and that depression is not a disease. Just like your body may need pills to get well, your mind is the same. I've been going to therapy and taking pills every since and I must say that I feel a lot better. I can get out of bed, I don't cry as much, and I actually feel like living and making plans. Take it one day at a time and don't rule anything out. Therapy and pills might help....you never know.

Just giving the person an ear if she needs someone who listens to her words. Please take care of yourself---because you are unique.

How do I deal with a depressed person? Well it depends on the person and the severity of the depression along with what caused it...Would I ever shun them though..HELL NO..BUT I've been dealing with severe depression for most of my life so I'm very compassionate to those who are going through any sort of bad spell be it a short one or a long one etc....AND becuase I've been dealing with it for so long I'm all too aware that the whole "life will get better", "chin up", "pray to god for guidance" and the like is often nothing but a bunch of crap and the things that ppl feel they should say when they either dont know what to say cause they dont get it or when they really dont give a crap but feel the need to say something..What some ppl dont realize though is that sometimes saying the standard comments etc can actually cause damage! So you knwo what you need and it isnt therapy or pills...then what is it and provided its not something dangerous to you, your health etc then why dont you get it, do it, find it or whatever the case may be (depending on what it is obviously)

No, I do not shun them...what good would that actually do for them or me... I suffer from depression and have for many years of my life...while I would not shun people because of their depression...I do find that when I am at some of my not so good times...I avoid people...I do not want to see or talk to them..LOL Tina I have found that meditation has helped me to cope with my depression and with my general outlook on life..I would highly recommend it!

no way. that is not the way to treat a friend or known person or even a human being.you can not stay away when they need you the most. the depressing times are the trough parts of our lives. we feel dejected. the world seems to be far away and we in the outer space.if you know what is the root of all these, then remove it. if it not possible to remove, the accept the hard fact and learn to lead life with it. may the almighty be with you in tough times.

Well i talk with my friend and share the days experience.