If you are a single woman, stay single do you agree with this advice?
By Morning Girl
@salonga (27775)
Philippines
June 17, 2008 4:01am CST
An old woman rode the bus and after sitting opposite a young lady beside me, started talking about life and then I heard her telling the young lady beside, "I presume you are still single and the lady nod in agreement. Then she continued... Stay single, don't get married... men will just fool you.. at first they will make you happy then sooner or later they will pursue other women and will leave you crying. Just stay single and enjoy your singlehood." I intruded and said "No maa'm I think we should not generalize... not all men are the same there are also faithful ones and getting married is a wonderful event in every person's life and having a husband and own kids is even more wonderful" But she said, "No! you are wrong? She cited several other negative points but I kept my stand. How about you? What is your stand on this? Do you agree with this old woman's view?
21 people like this
70 responses
@spyjob (214)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
This is one of the rediculous advice from an old woman. Maybe she was hurt by a man and is generalizing all men. If she would like to remain single in her entire life, she should not drag others to do the same. What you've done is applaudable, sticking on your stand-- because no two persons are alike even twins. I guess the young lady will ignore her, she has no right in the first place to interfere with somebody's life.
6 people like this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
17 Jun 08
Oh well, to each his/her own. I think she was horribly wronged in her own times and she is generally passing on her personal experiences. Also some women are not really wired to adjust to family life. They are either too domineering or extrovert or too self-absorbed. They like marriage but not its commitments (the same apply to men too) but they are loathe to change themselves. So every time their marriage does not work, they blame the spouse for it.
With times changing, men taking us for a ride does not apply to all aspects anymore. Women are as free as men to end marriages and look for new partners. So staying single may definitely be the preferred choice of such ladies and gents (it saves a lot on marriage and settlement costs) but for many other ladies like me, getting married and staying that way is the preferred option.
5 people like this
@Desierra1004 (1213)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 08
Hie Everyone, what you have said is true. Perhaps the old lady was having a bad day that time or 'senile' at her age? I didn't mean to be rude but I have seen rantings from old ladies especially at her age group.
I don't agree a single lady should swore to single hood unless if she has some bad experiences and made her choice.
That's no guarantees in anything and it is worth to try than not at all. And who's to know, they might miss out the chance of a lifetime due to some grandmother's story.
And I believe for all the single women out there, we hold our own destiny and if it is meant to be,we will have to accept it. Until then let us enjoy whatever that comes along.
Cheers and happy posting!
4 people like this
@gtdonna (1738)
•
17 Jun 08
It is my opinion that someone must have hurt that old woman that she has made it her mission to warn every other single woman she met NOT to ever make the same mistake she did. I feel you were correct in letting her know that not everyone is the same and she was generalising. Way to go!
Not because one person make a mistake it means that others will do the same.
4 people like this
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
17 Jun 08
I dont agree with that old woman's view at all at all. I was married recently and I can testfy that there is no sweet thing like marriage and not all men are evil. There are faithful men out there and single girls should wait for the right man with alot of patience. Ladies, I would advice you to get married to a man who deeply loves you not a man that you love and he does not love you back then you think that you are going to change him and make him love you back.........thats where most people go wrong. Dont enter a marriage expecting to change a man, change him first then get married, if not so yu will live in life long frustrations.
4 people like this
@madlees (1377)
• India
17 Jun 08
I am not a single woman, I a very much married woman who is staying with her husband.
I cannot accept what the lady said. If there is a bad rotten apple in a tree can it be all the apples in that tree are bad or rotten. So, maybe some are bad but not all. She wiould have had a very bad experience but that doesn't mean that she keep discouraging others also like this.
Single woman's life is also very dangerous. I have many times, the women getting into trouble with other men who think single women are easy targets. Don't youthink so?
@Tianna2 (1273)
• United States
17 Jun 08
I'm still single, but I prefer to thing that there are still some good guys out there. I think this older woman has probably been cheated on a few to many times and has a pretty sour attitude about guys. It sounds like she thinks she has her reasons anyway.
I may have not found the guy of my dreams yet, but I havent really looked that hard either. I'm still enjoying being single, but if the right guy comes around, I wont say no.
Cheers, Tianna
4 people like this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
Yeah you are right on your opinion. She maybe has generalized her own experience and has made that stand on her own. I as a man do think that not all man are like that. i have been faithful with my wife for seven years and our marriage was never destroyed by any third party. I salute you for defending us who are not like what the old lady said. 
3 people like this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
17 Jun 08
I have a question. If you pick an apple from a tree and it is bad does that say that all apples are bad? I am sure your answer will not and could not logically be yes.
Therefore because someone has had a bad experience with a certain gender, it does not mean that everyone of that gender is bad. I am single and loving it but I dont plan to remain single all my life. Of course I have met on some rotten fellows but that does not stop me from talking to others if they express an interest but I however do prefer to wait on the Lord. I dont want to remain single and would not encourage anyone to but as I have always said each person has a choice.
3 people like this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
18 Jun 08
Actually I do agree with her, not for the reasons that she stated but because I have always said that if my marriage ends or if I ever decide enough is enough I will stay single.
I grew up as an only child, I find it hard to be in company and hard to make friends I am now realising that it is because I enjoy my own company and not because no one likes me. I could quite happily live without a man. I am married and I do love my husband but I also wish that I had taken more time when single to appreciate my time alone instead of telling myself and listening to others telling me that I had to have someone.
The lady should not impress her views on others as she did, say her view fair enough but not in a bitter way.
3 people like this
@sutanhartanto (4122)
• Indonesia
17 Jun 08
no, i don't agree at all. i'm not a single women anyway. i'm a single man 
. that's why i definitely reject the advice. i suggest you, women to disregard the advice. don't decide to be a single woman. it's already difficult for us, the poor men, to get a partner without the advice
. that's why i definitely reject the advice. i suggest you, women to disregard the advice. don't decide to be a single woman. it's already difficult for us, the poor men, to get a partner without the advice 4 people like this
@Elixiress (3878)
•
17 Jun 08
I think it is true that some men will hurt you, but I also believe that some men are faithful, so I think it is a matter of trying your luck and being careful. Obviously she has been hurt and you have not and that shows. Neither of you are right and neither of you are wrong. It is not necessary for every woman to have a man.
3 people like this
@Pirate_Arg (472)
• South Africa
18 Jun 08
I agree with the don't get married point but not with the rest. Staying single isn't that great. What is wrong with being with a partner? Not all men will end up just running after other women in the same way that not all women are just after a man's money.
Of course, if you are single you can also enjoy that but there is no reason to shun all relationships just because of the chance of getting hurt. If we are going to do nothing that is going to cause emotional pain, why do we even keep living? Everything has the potential to hurt but we keep going at life anyway.
3 people like this
@patzel88 (3310)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
yes i agree to the old woman, i've seen the difficulties to a married situation that more on sadness than happiness. the responsibilities to a husband/wife, to the children, to the people surrounds you. its easy for a single people to do the things that you want to succeed, while if you are married you dont know if you will be remembered by your children when you get old and dont you consider that you maybe the burden to your children.
3 people like this
@holachika (176)
•
17 Jun 08
Maybe you should have asked the lady two things: one, have you been married yourself? and two, have you ever been hurt in the past to think that way?
I vote for singleblessedness if you're happy and content with it. I mean why rock the boat?
I vote for vows of lifetime commitment if you have found the right partner. It takes two to tango, right?
4 people like this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I don't think anyone "should" stay single OR "should" get married. It's a life choice and different things happen to different people. Just because one person had a bad experience doesn't mean another should avoid an action. Nor would just because someone had a pleasant experience mean someone has to accomplish it.
2 people like this
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Hi Gloom
you're right, if you're meant to be married you will and if you meant to stay single you will. Live your own experiences and decide for yourself.
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6528)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Ok, at the risk of being attacked here. I totaly agree with the old woman. Yes, there are some good men out there but the majority are as she said. Also, for example : i have been divorced for 31 yrs. when i die do you know who will be contacted to make arrangments and inheritance? My ex! Thats right! Unless i write a will stateing otherwise. Even if iam living with someone they will call my ex. Not my children. For a woman's own protection i say stay unmarried. That does not prevent you from living with or having a family. Common law gives you the same rights as marriage. The children can have both last names. I have know couples that have been together all their lives and are not married. That piece of paper is only that a piece of paper. It not make people stay together. How many people do you know that have gotten married only to get divorced later? Just a way of enriching lawyers.
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I won't attacked you, You have your feeling as much as I have mind. I can not convince you to think different. I can not tell you that the next guy will be better than your ex. I'm not sure how true this is, but did you know that if you die, and your husband is married he wont get anything. My mother was separatd from my father for over 12 years. My father lived in Texas and we live in California. She started working as time when by. It was about 5 years before she retire, her supervisor asked her if she was divorced? She said no. So she told her that if she didn't get divorced that he would be getting half her pension. She ran, filed for divorced and the paper were out. They never found him, paper were not signed, but they still gave her the divorced. He gets nothing. You need to ask someone about your inheritance. Or get a will so that your children get everything. If you don't have his name on that piece of paper, he will get 0.(zero). As for people getting married and getting divorced later. I believe that's part of life. I was married before and got divorced 3 months after. I was not about to staywith a guy that cheats and try to hit me. Aftr 16 years of being single I got tired, and me and my husband met and now I hope that we can stay together for a long time. but if we happen to go in different directions and we need to get divorced, so be it.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
Well it is just a matter of marrying the right guy. I for one and a lot of others I know are enjoying good marriage. So sorry for those who suffered bitterness and I pray God bless you in some other ways.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
18 Jun 08
sure do. she must have been like me been there, done that. the only blessing i got out of being married are my children. thank god for them.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
I admire people like you, you still see the blessing despite the hardship and pains. God bless you!
@violetdreams (658)
•
18 Jun 08
Wow, poor lady! She must really have had a rough ride.
I don't agree with her advice. Marriage and kids are a great experience for anyone - male or female.
For all the single bods out there - I never thought I'd ever get married or have kids. Then I found my husband and just knew it was right. We didn't discuss whether to get married - we just knew it would happen (eventually - lol), but there was no rush. Kids - same thing, when the time was right, we both knew and now we have 3 beautiful kids.
We are blessed and very lucky to be in this situation - I know it isn't easy to find your life partner. Even when you do, you still have to work at it - happiness isn't just handed to you, you have to work at it - hard sometimes!
Anyway, that lady was WRONG WRONG WRONG. She shouldn't have been trying to influence strangers either - Naughty!!!
Violetdreams
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
Your story is enough to inspire ladies out there. thanks for sharing!
