Do parents push their kids into sports or let them decide to join?
By ladyljs
@ladyljs (1303)
United States
June 17, 2008 7:06pm CST
So many join sports for the love of the game...but are there other reasons? Take parents for instance...sometimes, they push their little ones into sports for their own egos.
In our little town, if you don't "belong" to the little league football/cheerleading team in the fall, you are an outcast. So these poor little children are dragged to practices and endure the heat and cold, and in many cases just sit on the bench during games.
It just breaks my heart to see what they have to go through...but worse than that would be the torment that they are put through at school from the "in" crowd!
My little girl loves to cheer and so I have enrolled her once again in the cheer program. But, her twin brother absolutely loathes football, preferring martial arts. So, he endures the wrath of the hateful little boys that "dig" at him about not being part of the football team.
I want my little boy to do what he is most comfortable with...so, if he doesn't want to play football...well then, he doesn't have to play football!
So, do you think there are more parents that push their kids into sports, or more of those that let the child decide?
2 people like this
22 responses
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Thank you for this discussion.
I'm a "sports parent".
I ask myself many similar questions.
To answer your question, I'll say this.
I think most kids PLAY because they want to.
I think SOME kids are shamed into playing sports.
Sometimes by their parents.
Sometimes by their peers.
Sometimes by their siblings and sometimes by their COMMUNITIES.
My daughter PLAYS because she wants to.
But, sometimes she is pushed to practice more than she wants to. Part of being on a team, is the commitment of practicing. I don't have a problem with that. It's necessary and it's important for kids to learn about commitment. But sometimes, actually OFTEN, parents and/or coaches, take things too far!
I have personally experienced both sides of the coin.
I think parents truly need to examine their motives when encouraging their children to play sports.
I also think parents need to support their children when they choose to take the path less travelled (or less popular).
I hope your son finds his way and find something that he enjoys without taking to much grief from his friends. Good luck and Take care.
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Thank you for your response. My little girl found her niche in cheerleading, and like you said...it is a lot of practicing. My little boy has fallen in love with Karate...and that is just fine with me.
I too, have been on both sides...the parent and the cheer coach. I always tell the parents to let the child decide what he or she wants to do. Getting any valuable practice time out of a child that doesn't really want to be there is harmful to the rest of the team.
Thanks again for your answer! Giving you a plus!
@kianli (546)
• China
18 Jun 08
Well, here in China no parents will push their kids into sports. Parents in China pay more attention to high grades and high marks that their kids can get.
If their kid shows great enthusiasm for sports,his/her parents will try to tell kids
that grades is the only thing can rely on in the future but not sports.
Partly it's true, because all the Chinese athletes participating Olympic are professional, when they were kids, they attended special sports school, but when they retired without much achievement it's really for them to make a living.
But things are getting better, many parents realize the importance of sports, and they're beginning to let their kids to join.
Have a nice day!
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
21 Jun 08
I try to get my son to play football and other sports in the garden, but if he doesn't want to i don't push him.
I use to encourage him to play outside with a ball, but now i don't because he wants to play outside all day long already.
He loves to kick a ball around outside and he likes to hit a ball with a bat outside. Its really nice to play games with him outside in the garden and in summer.
~Joeys wife
@dianagnes (1088)
• Singapore
18 Jun 08
Its depends on the parents themselves.If the parents loves sports they tend to ask their children to be active in sports too.Its the same like Music,if they like,they would love their child to have the same abilities like them.
Like my parents,they let myself decide what i like and they never push me to join any sports as they are not interested in sports too.My dad don't do sports as he's getting older each day but he's an active sports watcher.
Its not just sports,they let me decide what im interested in and will give full support.They don't push me neither my brothers,they are understanding to our interest.Even,if me as a parents,i will be like them..not to really persuade my children of what i want them to be.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
20 Jun 08
Dear friend,
I do hope that if that kid is well enough to take his own decisions it might be well the decision may be taken by the kid himself and on other side parents do have their role inorder to make sure their kid goes in right path. Hence I feel talents are not always got to all those and those with it may have to ustilise that special gift of God. This helps and makes happier those who really appreciate sports may be a good football player found could give more enjoyment and satisfaction to those who appreciate and enjoy that game. Hence I feel those talented sports persons should come forwards and parents should encourage them. Moreover the government should also treat them well or sponsor them well to boost . their moral and their performance to get to the high level. May be they could bring a big respect and fame to their parents and moreover to their country. May be sports should also be treated as one of the syllabus for the best sports students or as optional might be better.
@jkg0679 (31)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I think that children should be encouraged but not forced into joining sports. Sports can help a child's self-esteem as well as prevent obesity, but if a child is adamant against it, they should not be pushed. I was not into sports growing up, and I turned out okay.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
18 Jun 08
oh totally. i know some parents that totally push their kids into sports. i know one girl who is almost pro (she is the ladies jr champ in golf here in Ontario) but i think her parents really pushed her into that...
i know other parents that throw their kids into all sorts of sports for whatever reason...my kids are nor were they involved in any sorts of sports, but they seem to fine!!
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Hello ladyljs, In my observation with friends and people I have known, they allow their kids to decide and they are just supporting them.It will be very unfair for the child to be forced to a certain sport that he/she doesn't enjoy. This is about fun for them and to develop positive attitude and how can the parents get the good outcome if they are the one deciding for the kids...
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
28 Jun 08
Oh, that is so sad that the other children
would pick on your son for not belonging to a team.
Some schools and towns are that way.
I hope my little girl doesn't face the same
treatment. She's a smart kid and loves to work
on the computer, but is not so much into sports.
@HummerH2K2 (36)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I really think that parent's do push their kids into sports that they may not like. I think they are somewhat manipulated into thinking that they may like the sport. As having a little brother, my mother told him that being in baseball would be fun and he would like he. Well, he hated it and cried whenever he had to go to games. What he really loved was basketball, but she wanted him to try baseball. So yes, I do think they are more pushed by their parents sometimes, but when they get older then they decide for themselves.
@newtondak (3946)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I don't think that parents should enter their children in sports just because the parent wants them to play. If and when the child is entered in an activity, it should be because the child has shown an interest in participating.
@Gesusdid (1676)
• United States
18 Jun 08
yeah i think the parents do force their kids into the sports , at least let the child choose what they want to get into , or then again i think depending on the child age the parents forece them into something that they dont want , i say let them decide but , let them stick out cause u kno kids say that want to do this then the next day they dont want to do it anymore and want to change sports
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
18 Jun 08
It depends really . My brother went to my father when he wanted to play football and baseball for the support. Towards the end my brother wanted to stop playing and my dad said to finish it out because it was the last year , and in a way my brother is happy he did.I don't think though it is right to force any child into things they dont want , because they will never be happy .
I will let my child come to me when they are ready , or find something they like . I will know what they like and point them the right way.
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
18 Jun 08
Yes, I think children are pushed into doing things they don't really want to do but I think there is pressure on parents also. Its implied that we must keep the children occupied and entertain them to be a 'good' parent. I think children just want to be left to do their own thing sometimes - I know I wouldn't want someone else organizing me 24/7.
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I think when it comes to sports,especially young boys, their fathers tend to pressure them more into going out for a sports team,just because when they were young they played sports,and I think it is wrong to pressure kids into joining a sports team,because it should be their choice,if sports is something that they love to do.
@mariaglenda (482)
• Philippines
18 Jun 08
well in my part as what i had experience in my parents .... they dont usually tells me join that sport instead i am the one who wanted to join and some of my family are not agreed to join me in sports .
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
18 Jun 08
i think there are too many children are pushed into playing sports by their parents & i don't agree w/it at all. my boys both played sports but they did because they wanted to. both are still big sports fans now. go vols!!
@william2233 (225)
• Concord, California
18 Jun 08
My daughter was pushed into cheer for two years now, and my wife decided this next year she'll cheer at high school too. If she makes the team. My son a junior wanted to do wrestling so I let him, he's more happier as I didn't force him to do.
@tschu8 (136)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I absolutely think that a parent should not push their children into sports. I think that there are alot of parents that do push their kids and I think that they are living out their childhood through their children and these children have right to make their own decisions. Everyone is an individual and have different likes and dislikes. I have 3 boys myself. My oldest is 17 and never had any interest in sports until high school. And he tried them all and never stuck with any of them. It of course was harder to start baseball, football and wrestling that late in school and of course he never got to start in games but he did enjoy it and has been told he was good for just starting out. But still never stuck with it. My middle son is going on 10 and he, like your son only has gotten into martial arts and he absolutely loves it. He is there because he chose to want to take karate. My youngest is 7 and has only tryed wrestling and he loved it soooo much and he can not wait till it starts back up next year. But if they ever wanted to quit I would let that be their decision.
