is it ok to settle for someone else while waiting for the right one?
By melo_828
@melo_828 (427)
Philippines
June 18, 2008 6:30pm CST
it's hard to fine the right person for us. we didn't know when or where to find her/him. sometimes we lost hope and just settle for someone else who is available right beside us. we try to convince her/him that we love her/him even though it's not. we don't want to live alone and lonely so we just try to convince ourselves that we are happy w/ her/him but it's not. it's unfair to the one we cheated because she/he was just our past time. so, we must choose, wait for someone else whom we don't know if it will come or settle for someone else available and only hurt her/his feelings?
3 people like this
32 responses
@latriciajones (846)
• United States
19 Jun 08
its not ok to settle until you find the right one because all you are doing is hurting yourself because you probably wont be truly happy. and you ar probably gonna end up hurting the person you are with and sometimes all it takes is one person to make another go bad. so i would suggest just waiting until the right person comes along.
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
19 Jun 08
I don't think it is good to settle for someone while you hope to be with someone else. I never settled and I believe I am with the right one.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
19 Jun 08
Fear of being alone is never a good reason. That puts the other person in harms way. That is too cruel to do to anyone. I like myself. If I did something like use another person that way I don't think I'd like myself too much.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
19 Jun 08
Sometimes we tell ourselves that we do not see the one we love and then we settle. I wouldn't call it settlement. Have you ever look inside that relationship and see where that person truly love you (us) and then your hurt started to melt and love begins to come through the pores. When we are looking outside we do not see what is happening on the inside. So it is best we appreciate what we have because sometimes the ones on the outside is more terrible. I have been in a relationship this year is five years and yes he has hurt me alot but I have to look at two sides. He was infected and he didn't know. I on the other hand didn't know the symptoms. He love me and I didn't love him but when I look at the things he has done to show me how he care for me then sometimes I think twice.
I will prefer to settle with the one who is trying then to go after someone who we think is much better but later down we become miserable when we see the mistakes that we have made. Remember that men/women are wolves/wolverine in sheep clothing. This saying is long before our generations and has been proven time and time again.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
19 Jun 08
Bottom line is, how would you feel if a girl you've been with one day tells you that she finally found somebody right for her & she has only been with you till the guy she was looking for freed up? Basically she settled for you while she was waiting for someone else? I strongly believe in "do unto other the way you want to have them do unto you"
@CrashO (698)
• Romania
19 Jun 08
Yeah i think its okey, everyone needs a close person to be loved and love, but I think the long run the right one is that guy/girl who you care about in a long-term relationship and she/he will change for you some stuff and you too so you make it the right one for each other.
@rsa101 (38115)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
The question is are you being honest with yourself by doing that? I guess you are not... You tend to find to become very selfish along the way with your partner. I am pretty sure that the other party may truly love you but you are not because you just chose because you were afraid to be left alone in time. There's nothing wrong being alone at least you are not cheating your partner and yourself as well. Living in a relationship that is false is living your life in lie.
@jorkin (67)
• China
19 Jun 08
I really think I should wait for someone that we both love each other very much.But the truth is now the boy with me is the one who love me very much.I don't like him,but sometimes I really need him.I tell him I don't love you,but he doesn't leave,he is still waiting.I'm happy and guilty...
@setroc (853)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
if you can keep from feeling guity, me i cant do it, i dont want to use a person, specially if that person thinks she finally found her right one in me, i cant stand that kind of guilt for a long time, id rather find someone who is also waiting for someone and would like to be with me while shes waiting
@risris24 (712)
• United States
19 Jun 08
No personally I don't think it is ok or fair for you or that other person you are settling for. If you are waiting for the right one and saying to settle for someone else, that someone else may have feelings for you and it is not fair to them especially if you know they are not the right one and odds are the relationship will not go anywhere. All the more, it is not fair for you to be in a realtionship with someone you do not truly want to be with. My advice is if you haven't found the right one, then stay single in the meantime and when the right one comes along you will know. This way may save you from breaking someone elses heart and also a lot of aggravation.
@banadux (630)
• United States
19 Jun 08
Learn to spend some time alone. It's very wrong to string someone along if you know they are not right for you. If you both know it then you're both just wasting your time. The time you spend alone allows you to reflect on past relationships and also lets you better understand who you are. You will never be sure who the right one is if you don't first know who you are.
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
19 Jun 08
well i want to say....
just dont wait for best
dont kill your time
make most of it...
dont consider any reltation a time pass
give your 100% and that someone will be right one very soon...
so be true and go on...
@angemac23 (2003)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
No this is not ok....if you are not with the right the person, than dont be with anyone until you find the right person. No need in hurting someone if you know you are going to hurt them at some point....
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
Wait for your Ms. Right and don't ever settle for someone you don't really love. That is in fairness to both of you.
@flatlander (45)
• United States
19 Jun 08
When the right person comes along you will know!! The other question, what happens when you loose the right person?? Is it harder to find the right person, or loose him\her and decide to start over or ust carry on with the memories??
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