Why if my frustration/tolerance level with my child is so low? Help!!!

I am not a teacher but I have been preparing my child since he’s learnt to read and write and now he is in class 4. While I would not say that he has done exceptionally well, generally I am proud of our results. So from my own experience, I would say you are doing two things wrong. One is the age. You child is just a child. You cannot start having expectations from her at an age when she does not understand the meaning of expectation. Wait for her to grow up a bit more, maybe 10+ and then set the goals. Secondly, you would always be her mother, never her teacher. It cannot be. Do you think of her as one of your students? You don’t, you think of her as your child and hence your frustration all the more. So why would a child think of you as her teacher? Be her mother, bond with her as you bond with a child and she will reciprocate better. She is not seeking attention, she is seeking her mother in the teacher. And if she is a only child (don’t know her age) does it matter so much if she is not very serious during her lessons from now on itself?

U remind me of our own story.. i have a sister who was just like your kid. Never interested in studies.. but very sharp though. My mother used to do the same thing to her, that u mentioned. After a limit, my mother gave up disciplining her for studies. But as time passed, she chose her interests like mountaineering and sports. While I grew up being a studious child and a professional now, my sister did lots of things in life. Today, she is much much successful than me, owns her own business where she supports her husband. Looking back, I realise, whatever disciplining my mom tried to do was infact wrong. The day she stopped disciplining my sis, so many facets of her personality appeared and today, we are thankful to the God for it. So let it flow, let ur daughter enjoy and find out her intersts. She will come out a successful person, whom u will be proud of, one day! Cheers

hi chrysz! i think its normal to feel like that since she is your child. the pressure to make her better is greater than the pressure you feel when you're tutoring other kids. maybe at the back of your mind, you think that since you're a tutor, your children should do good in school since they have a tutor for a mom. its like, you might be thinking "i can teach other kids and make them do good at their subjects, i should be able to do the same with my own children". and since you have this thinking, you have high expectations on your daughter. i don't want to sound as if i know anything, i only know general ideas, but maybe you can find another way of teaching her that can make her behave and not take you for granted as her mother and as her tutor at the same time. maybe she doesn't like it very well that you're too professional with her when you're tutoring her. maybe she's not used to you being a tutor. after all, she's used to you being her mother. just a thought.

perhaps your expectations are too high or you are just tired/exhausted from the day to day dealings with her. have you thought of sending her to a local school instead of homeschooling her?

As a homeschooling mom, I have dealt with these kind of things often. I think we tend to put more pressure on our own kids, we expect more out of them than other kids. But this isn't fair to them. They deserve the same kind of respect, patience, and understanding as the other kids we teach. I also think you may be pushing yourself a little to hard. You see her struggles as your own failure. Don't let these struggles build walls between you and your daughter. I don't know if you mentioned it yet, but may I ask how old your daughter is? I ask because every child learns things at different ages, and in different ways. My oldest basically taught herself to read by playing on the computer...by age 4. My second daughter wasn't really reading until 6 or 7. My son is starting now at 5. My second daughter needed a lot of one on one time, lots of time just listening to me read to her, and watching my finger follow the words. Every once in a while I would pause to let her try the word we were on. Soon she was reading the whole page and not even realizing it. My son is learning through rhyming and finding similar sounds, then he has me write out the words we played with and then he writes them. Each child is different. Don't be so hard on her, and take it easy on yourself!!!

Maybe the cause of your frustration and low level of tolerance is because youre expecting too much from your kid. You see, every child has their own ability with different level. You just cant expect your child to read the book if she really cant. You said "you know she can" but are you really sure? Also, maybe you're tired. You have to relax first. You have taught children who were dyslexic and has ADHD so i believe that you can overcome that frustration you're feeling right now. Don't worry too much and don't expect too much. Have a nice day!

Teaching the kids itself is a difficult job..That too when it comes to our own kid, it doubles.It is very common that you may be frustrated very soon loosing your temper. But do not show the anger on your kid.You can treat yourself with two different roles - a mom and a tutor..But still your kid sees you as a mom only.So only she plays There can be other reasons also..May be she is bored with the book you give her. You say that she can read those words..If that is the case, have you been using the same book for her repeatedly.Though repetition can make it easier to learn, at times it may become boring too. Change the book. Change the environment. You can go to a library and pick few different books that can interest her. Allow her to pick it..Reading can be done with any book. When she is given the freedom to pick her own book, she will have an interest to read it too. I have seen this with my preschooler son. Though I buy him many new books, he loves to read only those books he had selected from the bookstall. It is because they pick the books that are interesting to them- either colour or the letter fonts. So leave it to her. In due course she will become a good reader and pester you to buy new books to read..

I think you have to be more patience to your child.Give her more attention. You are teaching others and you give your best for them to learn so do the same thing for your child..