What Do You Do, When Your Kids Are Starting To Lie?

yeah, I realized that what I said wasn't good. I didn't say that to my kid because i know what he'll feel.I am very careful in what I say whenever my kids are around. I don't want them to use it on me or to other people. I should have said "I hate lies". I used to lie when I was a kid. Every adult member of the family was so busy with their lives, there's no one to teach me what is right and wrong. I grew up lying, because I thought that would create some attention. There are many sad stories in my life and I don't want my kids to suffer the same. Eversince I became a parent and a wife, believe me, I never lied. I realized all to soon that if I continue lying, they would be gone too. So, I told my son the truth about the "Santa Claus" thing. I am sometimes tempted to lie but what happened to me when I was a kid always pop up in my head, so I do tell the truth. Even if sometimes it hurts. But, if I explain it extensively, they understand.. I always tell my son that I love him no matter what he does. But, I also tell him, that I intend to help him to be a better person than me someday.. Thanks for your "thoughts". It kinda cut me deep, but,I know sometimes, other people see what one cannot..thanks again..

Hello Valenas, I am in agreement with you. Although it's not a good thing that a child would lie, sometimes they lie and don't even realize that they are lying. In America, we call them little white lies. And they are more annoying than harmful. If my child told me a white lie, then I would be upset too. But I think that I could understand the mind of a child to know that she is immature and still learning the right ways to behave. Children often exaggerate and tell fables. They do not mean to be bad. It just happens. They may know that they have done wrong, but they don't want to be punished for doing so. They figure that the punishment for a lie would be less than the punishment for disobedience. I grew up that way. I knew that I would be beat with a belt if I disobeyed. So, I learned to tell good lies. What's the purpose of telling the truth if you know that you will only be punished for it. Now that I am an adult, I do not believe in lies, either. But as I am merely human, I do slip up. The other day, I accidentally told a little white lie to my child. She asked for cookies and without thinking, I opened my mouth and told her that I had lost them. She smiled, accepted my answer and left the room to play with her dolls. She didn't ask for cookies again. But, she did eat her dinner. When I confessed my little white lie on MyLot, other members were mad at me, saying that all lies are wrong. They got so irate and said they would never lie to their own child. I'm a new parent, so I tried out some of the advice given to me. I tried telling the absolute truth the next time the situation arose. So, the next time she asked for cookies, I told her that she could not have any until after she ate food. I offered no excuse or reason, only that she was required to eat dinner first. She threw the worst tantrum that she has ever thrown. She screamed and kicked and refused to be bargained with. This went on for over two hours. She refused to eat dinner, too. She would have none of it and I could do nothing to persuade her otherwise. I will go back to my way of telling a little white lie to spare her the emotional upset. If I can sugar coat the truth to her advantage, then I will do so. Her tantrum caused much distress and crying in our house. Everyone was arguing and we all went to bed unhappy. While I don't condone lying. I do understand that there is a time and place.

hi valenas....i know that we are but human so we commit mistakes such as lying..But, God made us the highest among all the species because He knows that eventually we can avoid lying and committing other mistakes. If I can help my son to stop lying at an early age, the better. If I can make him understand, that he can always tell the truth to me without me judging him and punishing him the worst way, the better person he will be someday. If I condone his lies now and just let it pass, he will become accustomed to lying and he will grow up thinking that even a white lie couldn't hurt. It hurts me when he lies and he needs to understand that it's killing me everytime he does it. He may be just a kid now, but isn't it only proper to start teaching them what is right and wrong at an early age? But, I do appreciate your insight and you got me thinking..thanks..

May I ask how did you punish them?

hi there..That's precisely my point. I don't want it to become a habit. In the case of my kid, I know him very well. So, if i don't put a stop to his white lies, he will grow up still lying... But, I do agree with you in the sitting down part..That's what I have been doing now and it works for us too.. thanks for the advice...

I wouldn't just believe anyone. This has been going on for quite awhile now. I have to the school and talked to all the teachers and some of his schoolmates and they have said the same thing. It's a small school of about thirty students with 7 teachers. And, once I caught him in the act when I myself picked him up...Of course, I know my kid very well and most specially when he lies. I dont beat him up and even if he has done the worst thing, beating him up will only make things worst. I have decided to take away some of his privileges like tv and video games, which I know he loves doing. But thanks anyway for your response..

hi. thanks for responding.. First off, I didn't mention anything about "sin" to my son because he would just be confused and it's a BIG word to use on a kid, I'm well aware of that..My son is a special kid with slight physical disabilities. Last year, when the same thing happened, he got sick again after playing, and it took him 2 weeks to recuperate the second time..I am just protecting him because I dont wanna see him sick always.

Punishing a child for telling the truth isn't going to convince them to tell the truth.

Well, if they are already going to be punished for the crime and iof i find out they lied they will get more or worse punishment they usually fuss up with the truth right off the bat. A least it worked with my kids.