pregnant and all by yourself..

I don't think that you have to beg your "in laws" for help. If you are pregnant and the father runs away, then by all means exclude him from your list. How should you go after someone who is irresponsible? On the other hand, if the parents of that person really cares about their unborn grandchild, they need not wait for you to beg them for help. If they want to help, they can always call you and offer their help anytime.

if you can make it without them then i would definitely go for it. i hate when people act like i owe them something. that reminds me of my kids dad's mother. she says that she has a life of her own and if we want her to be involved then just let her know. but my thing is i shouldnt have to ask her, their my kids and they live with me so if anyon should be calling it she be her. I told her that and i wont force my kids on anyone, even if you are the grandmother.

I agree. If you do not need the help. But what a shame for the baby. they hopefully will come to their senses soon!

If I become pregnant and if the father of the child is not ready to help me doesnot matter for me, I can take care of my ,I have confident on me, I will never ask any help from either of the families in case if they really want to help me then they will do it, if they are not ready to help me I dont feel bad ofcourse it is my child and I will give birth to the child and take care of the child by providing all the needs , I will do every thing all by myself.

Foe me I am overly stubborn and would not ask for their help. If they were good in laws they would offer help and be by your side. This is m y crazy advice but if you can do it on your own go ahead and make a life for you and your child. Let them eat grass when they see you and how you are progressing. If you need support look up your local community center they can direct you to places where you can get the support you need. Your inlaws will always hold the fact over your head that they had to help you out. This help should come from their heart.

It is my opinion that if the dude doesn't want to be in the child's life then don't make him. Sometimes no father is better than a father that is in and out. I feel that it is easier to accept the fact that you didn't have a father growing up than it is to feel abandond by a father that pops in and out when it is convenient for him. We as women need to cherish our children and no matter who else is in their life, be the rock that they need and hopefully one day respect.

problems do ocur and to find a solution is the right thing to do. ending soemthing is just like the shortcut to hell. why to try and end everything, try to find asolution. a mutual agreement and try to understand. when two people meet then there are bound to have problems. every person have different way to live life and that cause the disputes. but then we need to sort them out. both have to adjust a little bit then only the life will be good again

I went through something like that. The father told me he was not ready and I was on my own. His own mother met her grandchild without knowing it was her grandchild. I wouldn't tell her just because her son was not man enough to tell her himself. He finally relented and told her. I did ask for help once from him and he turned me down and I never asked for his help again. I raised her on my own and did a bloody good job of it, too. She is twelve now and a great student and even better person. There were times it was real hard, but I managed. My daughter does see her father now that she is older, but only because his girlfriend just adores her. I expect nothing from him, ever. In hindsight it has been the best thing to ever happen to me. When I look at my daughter growing into a beautiful young lady I know I am solely responsible and that gives me a sense of well being I had never felt in my life before.

This is my greatest fear in life because I never met my father, I dont want the same fate for my child. I refuse to have kids until I'm with a guy for a while and I'm sure he's not going to leave at the first sign of trouble. I would rather stay childless then put a child through this! Hugs, Tianna

It is during these trying times that your friend will need the support of her own family more than anybody else. This is also her wake-up call in terms of the kind of stuff the person who impregnated her is made of. I can also understand the stand of the guy's parents. No one wants to extend help when it is unwelcome. They just want to protect themselves from the possibility of being rejected by your friend. However, this is also a good sign that they have accepted responsibility for their son's indiscretions. Lastly, take courage on the experience vicneedscoffee shared. If she was able to do it for 12 years successfully, so can your friend survive her ordeal now.