Is this really true?

@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
June 23, 2008 9:54pm CST
I have heard that there are parents who have put their children out of their homes, sometimes forcing them to live on the street because the child told them that they were gay. Does anyone know of a case where this has actually happened, and if so were the parents reported to the authorities? I remember hearing many years ago of this happening to unmarried girls who got pregnant, but we are living in the twenty-first century and there are laws to protect children. Of course if the child has reached adulthood, I guess there is nothing the law can do, but I would be very concerned if those parents had other children still living at home. I have not seen it happen myself, is there anyone here who has actually witnessed it?
3 people like this
9 responses
@II2aTee (2559)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Although its the extreme case, its absolutly true. However, I think for the most part, the kids may run away on their own. The most readily available example I have is my boyfriend. He came out to his parents when he was 17.. about 3 years before we met. They ignored him. Ahh, the power of denial. Well, a year later he told them again. This time his father told him he was confussed. He was raised Roman Catholic, church 3 times a week. There was no way he was gay. His mother suggested to his father they put him in therapy, and his father refused because that would "make it worse". This whole conversation just got really horrid - and they had it right in front of him. Over the course of the next months and years, his father managed to make life as miserable for Brian as possible. He took every chance he could to remind Brian how confussed he was and how God disapproves of him. His mother allowed it to happen and decided that it was ok for a white suburban Susey homemaker to swallow her dissapointment with a shot of vodka to chase her ambien. Although she will assert even to this day that all she wanted was her son to be happy, her words belile the disdain on her face. She allowed the mental abuse Brians father subjected him to (adequetly fulfilling the submissive Catholic housewife stereotype) and she always took the fathers side... confident that one day her son would grow out of his phase. Brian had no safety in his own home and although he was never in any physical danger... the mental abuse was unbearable. Now heres the kicker. Around the time Brian and I met, his father decided it was time his son started to pay rent. Fine. Alot of parents charge their kids rent. $500. His father was charging him $500 a MONTH, to live at home, go to school, and come home to be subjected to mental abuse. Now, although his parents didnt kick him out... they made it miserable for him to stay there. The $500 rent was the iceing on the cake. His parents didnt kick him out because they didnt want to be the bad guy... but charging an 18 year old $500 to live at home... I mean thats a hint if I ever saw one. Considering the first apartment we got together was $350. There are other stories about other gay people I know, but I have written too much about my Brian. The bottom line is - yeah - it does happen, and on many different levels.
3 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Hi Tee, Thank you very much for responding as you did. You gave me a very clear picture of the mental abuse that can go on. I can see now that although many parents may not actually and physically force the child out of the home, they make it impossible for them to live there. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
24 Jun 08
It is difficult to deal with teenagers, and it is too bad that the parents acted the way they did! That treatment is not unusual, and it is why my husband always told me that being gay is not a choice! Who would want to choose to be rejected by so many relatives and friends? To be kicked out, beat up, and experience all the other ways that people discriminate against gay people! Your boyfriend is lucky to have you.
@guss2000 (2232)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I have heard of this happening many times. It's a shame. regardless of what my son does when he is older, I don't think I could ever throw him out. I have also heard it happen to teenagers who got pregant in school too.
2 people like this
@guss2000 (2232)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I think that is a good idea. Do you know when I brought my son home from the hospital (a preemie) that I had to go thru a lot of courses? The pediatric hospital made us do alot of things, even prove that we could bathe him. They do that with all the kids before they are discharged there. I thought it was kinda silly and told them that I thought it would be good for teen parents, or people that never took care of a child before. I was offended that they made me do it, but it was a requirement, and everyone had to do it.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Hi guss2000, I agree with you, it's not just a shame, it's wrong. Perhaps all potential parents should have to take a course in compassion. Blessings.
2 people like this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
24 Jun 08
Such things happen more in conservative societies. Some parents think of such kids as a disgrace and in order to protect their own reputation, they chase their kids out. I think such parents are self-centered and irresponsible. Some of these parents may be at fault for not providing the tender loving care their children need. I have never witnessed it in my country but I've also heard of it happening in other parts of the world.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Hi poohgal, Thank you for responding. It's terrible when parents put their reputation ahead of their children. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I do not think it has anything to do with reputation, but those parents who judge homosexuality to be immoral are the ones who usually kick their kids out for telling them! I would be honored if my children confided in me about anything like that! As it is, most teenagers do not want to discuss much with their parents today!
@enbrown (282)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I have heard of this happening a lot. It's sad to think people would do this to their own children.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
26 Jun 08
Hi enbrown, Thank you for your comments. I agree with you. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I have heard of this being done once, but at the time the child was over 18 and so legally an adult. I am sure that this probably does still happen, especially here in the south here where I live.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Hi jer, Thank you for commenting. It seems to still be more prevalent than I thought possible. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Jun 08
No I have never witnessed it or known of anyone that it has happened to. I think that it is so wrong to kick your child out of the house for that. It does not change who your child is on the inside.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Hi Celestiamoon, Thank you for commenting. I agree that it is very wrong, those kind of people should not be allowed to raise children. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
I have not known of this happening but in a few cases I know of mothers that have left their children behind to run off with another man. I can see leaving a man if there's just cause but not the children. Animals live better than that. This is just my opinion. I love my child unconditionally. Not perfect not gay but either way I would love my kids no matter what.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Hi Grandmaof2, Thank you for responding. I agree with you, and would never leave my children but love them unconditionally. Blessings.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I would never kick my kids out for anything! I only wish that I had even better relationships with my grown children! I would think they realize they can tell us about anything that troubles them, but like most teenagers, we are the last to know about anything in our teenagers lives! It can be difficult to get along with teenagers even if you do not reject them, as it is probable that they will go through a period in which they will reject us!
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
26 Jun 08
Hi olivemai, Thank you for responding. I'm with you, I would never kick my children out of the house. The teenage years are difficult ones, I think all any parent can do is be there for them. They will reach the stage when they will thank you. You are quite right too that many teenagers go though a time when they reject their parents, but they'll get over it and be good citizens in a few years. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
27 Jun 08
That is exactly what has happened! Even if it takes moving out on their own for them to realize how difficult is is raising children and paying bills, they will eventually return home and tell us how much they appreciated us! At least in our dreams they will! LOL
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I have not seen anything like that happen, but I wouldn't be surprised. My grandmother was very intolerant of homosexuality, but my uncle was married for 14 years to a woman before he finally came out of the closet so she didn't have the chance to do anything there. I would never do that to a child, no matter what age they were. I do believe in making them get out on their own at a certain age but kicking them out cuz they're gay is just warped.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Hi zhuuraan, Thank you for commenting. I agree with you. Blessings.
1 person likes this