Married, but always alone with the children

I don't blame you for feeling sad. It sucks to have to do everything without your spouse. Family time is so important and the kids enjoy it so much. I know that I hate doing anything without my husband with me. I may enjoy myself when I do things without him but I have way more fun when he is by my side. The kids enjoy it better to because he plays more than I do. I had a husband that did not want to do things with the kids. He would go places with me as long as it was something stupid like the bar or out with friends. But then he would get mad at me because I would not baby sit him all night and he would start a fight with me. The few times I did get him to go out on a nice date or out as a family he would complain the whole time we were there. It really ruined a great time. I have been there I think I can understand how you feel. In my case I was not happy. I did not love him the way I should have and he only loved me the only way he knew how. It wasn't enough for me. I wanted more for myself and my children. I was tired of him and I being miserable and making each other miserable. Life is to short to spend it unhappy. The kids grow up too fast not to take the time to enjoy their childhood. I finally got out and now have a great husband. It was hard and it may not be right for you but it is what I did. I had tried for 9 years to change my ex husband into a loving and fun person. You can not change someone. He always promised to do better and in a few months time he was back to treating the kids like they were stupid and not wanting to do anything with us again. If you and your husband truly love one another you should be able to work through this. You will only hold this against him and it will only affect your marriage if you let it do so. I can't tell you what is right for you to do. I know this isn't the only thing you have brought up recently about your husband hurting your feelings. You have to ask yourself if you truly love him, does he truly love you, are you happier with him or without him. talking with him has done no good so it says he really isn't going to change are you going to be able to live with knowing you are going to have to attend most events alone? If you are both willing counseling may be a way to help with some of the issues at hand. I hope that what ever you decide is best for you brings you some happiness. You of all people deserve some happiness.

It sounds to me that he is using his language difficulties as an excuse. The real issues is probably self-esteem. When someone feels good about their self it isn't so important what other people think. And when you don't feel good about yourself you can easily become shy, even reclusive, to protect one's fragile ego. Let go of trying to change him. It doesn't matter if you don't have your husband along. Take another family member. Is there a grandparent you could take? Don't stay home just because he won't go. That's not fair to you or to your kids. I wish you well.

Please don't be offended, but I think your husband has to bo and see a shrink. It's the only way out. He is cold and withdrawn because he has issues with himself. Until those issues are resolved he can't let anyone into his life. I used to be very insecure. I went to see one, now I am one self confident girl. He needs to work on himself first, then when his insecurities are gon, he can go ahead to function more smoothly.

Its really sad to know that such a small thing as not knowing or having bad grammer is causing problems in your marriage and family life.You should try to convince him that it is not a big issue.Coz more important in relationship is faith,affection and respect for each other.You try to build his sagging self esteem. You involve ur kids too in it and tell him that how much you all love him whether he knows the language or not.You try to convince him how much valuable he is for the family on such occasions. Also stop pointing out his grammatical errors if u have been doing that in past. I am sure by building his self image and confidence he will be more participative in family affairs. All the best.

A lot of mothers do it alone because their husbands are very busy and just don't have the time. Like, in my case with my hubby being a Marine. He's really on call 24/7 and doesn't have a set schedule all the time. But, your situation is new to me. My husband's grammar is not all that good either because he's from Jamaica, but most people love to ask him about it and have him speak more. My first suggestion is to tell him how much you love this about him, and that it makes him unique. Kiss him or smile in a loving way when he pronounces something incorretly, then correct him. I wouldn't tell you to have him take a class because this is just more time that he'll spend away from the family. I'm sure if you and him talk more then he'll get better at his English. Second, tell him that he doesn't need to always speak because you just want him with you for support and the kids will feel more loved with him being there. Lastly, do more things that he may want to do. It's like give and take. He'll see how much fun it is to hang out with the family and want to do it more often no matter where the family is going. I hope that my advice is able to help you be less alone in your marriage.

obviously your husband does not play a good role in your marriage.is this the only one thing upset you or he also has many bad marriage-habit make you disappointed.if he is a stumble guy,then i do not know how you can control it,because it shows you two can not communicate with each other in thought.the best choice for you may be a heart-to -heart talk seriously.we can not change the weather,but we can change our mood.after all,you choose him,so you have to dump something you thought funny before,and this is the most worst way to work it according that you are a self-torture lady.

Would he be open to taking an 'english as a second language' class online or in a local vocational school? It could boost his confidence so that he wouldn't feel so selfconcious in social settings. It's important that he understands how you feel without taking it personally too. Does he realise all of the special moments that he is missing with his children? He can't get that time back but he can be there for future events if he can over come the language barrier. I wish you luck sweetie. All you can do is be honest with him about your feelings and offer solutions. It's up to him to decide to make things better for himself.

It will be lonely with him to accompany you when you are out with friends. They say before you marry someone look at all their short comings and see if that's something you can live with.Because it will end up being a major issue. It's ashame he does not want to take an ESL class, that would change his speech pattern but people are afraid to change, maybe thinking he is too old to learn.

Yes,i am sympathize with you,i pray you will better than before.