I got caught

So I guess I will have to be the one to ask the obvious. Whose house is it? Is it your personal home? Or alternatively do you still live with your mother? It makes a difference. If you live on your own in your own apartment or house than she has no business barging in. You should lock your doors and she should knock. She should not have a key. What you do in your personal home is indeed your business because you have proven that you are an adult, capable of conducting your own life, paying your own bills, providing for the roof over your head. In this case, while she may have an opinion and as your parent she will, ultimately your life choices will be your own. You should simply say to her that if she wishes to visit she should call ahead and knock before entering. You should make sure you keep your doors locked. On the other hand if you live with your mother still you were under her roof and despite being 20 you must continue to live by her rules. I suspect her rules do not include getting frisky with your boyfriend. The truth is that it is her home and you owe her respect in her home. You don't have a "right" to privacy in her home if you haven't earned her trust. Unless you are paying rent at the market rate where you can be considered a boarder rather than her daughter you are subject to her rules until you move out of her domain. Hating you mother is an inappropriate reaction. I understand that you feel as if she is treating you like a child. However, in truth she is doing what most parents would do under the circumstance.

Hi there kat_princess, maybe your mom is just concern about you and your future, I can't blame her for getting mad and gave you sermon but I also understand your feeling if her words are too much and too painful and it is not also good for her to be reading your diary since that is the very private property of any person...Anyway, I hope you will be able to tell her your feelings about it, be open at least she will also be reminded her limitations as a Mother and at the same time, I guess you also need to say sorry for what you have done...By that, I am sure everything will be fixed!

for me, it is not the fault of your mom. Maybe, she used to go to your room without knocking and she didn't expect that thing... she was mad because your wrong... with that she just stand as a parent for you... that makes you feel that she is concern and she takes good care. That it is your fault. Although, you have some point also. But, you should also consider the side of your mom as your parent.

Since your age on your profile says you're 20, I'm guessing it is your mother's house. If that is the case, then maybe you should go somewhere else with your boyfriend, and not at your mom's house. I can tell you this, I wouldn't have barged in, however, I would have let my expectations regarding my daughter and my house be known. I never read my daughter's diary, that was her private thoughts, and I never barged into her room, and she learned to show me respect by knocking on my door before entering. Advice, if you want privacy, start thinking about getting your own place.

parents wanted their children good things they know whats best for you.you havent noticed it yet but when you grow up and become a parent then you will know that your mother is right.there are proper places to do those things and doing in you home is a bad idea since youre not yet married to your boyfriend.im sure you will understand everything when you yourself become a parent too...try putting yourself in your mothers shoes,what would you feel?

O No... O well is all I can say... your mom needs to learn to respect your privacy. For you and your boyfriend look back at this funny time and laugh. Just remember it's not like your mom never did it. But on a serious note she does need to knock. A good idea would be to lock your doors or tell her to call before coming. Since you are an adult you have your own life and she needs to realize that. I know it has to be embarassing for you and your boyfriend but like I said look at it as a funny memory. Hope this helps.

She is your mother, don't forget she done enough for ur better life and better future, she takecare of u when u were little child and not able to move even. She has given u education through which u are able to talk in better way and can face the world with confidence. She has right to monitor ur activities, either u r doing rite or wrong. U started to hate ur mother although u were wrong, but ur mother still loves u because she is a "Mother" she never hate her children, never ever.

Well, let me ask, you are engaged in adult relationship. Are you acting like an adult? Are you self-supporting? Or are you acting like a child, depending on Mom, living off your Mom. Her house, her rules. If it is your place, then change the locks and don't give Mom a key. She should respect your privacy and knock before entering even if she has a key.

kat princess please do not hate your mother, you would not be here had it not been for your mom. I know how frustrating it was to have your mom walk in on you and your boyfriend. she had no right to invade your privacy and should have knocked not just barged in. As I do not know if you are in your teens or older I have no right to say anything about your doing it at all.You are so right, she has no business reading your diary at all.But being angry at her is one thing, hate is another.' Hate is pretty strong here.I mean she is your mother.

Like one of the other posts said it depends if you are living in her house or not. If you are under her roof then yes she has the right to come into your room. My mom respects my privacy, what is in my room is in my room, but she does have her rules about what goes on in my room. She allows my boyfriends in my room, b ut she has the right to come in whenever she wants and I agreed to that to give her the respect she deserves.

I hope you don't hate me for this answer I give. Personally, I've been "hating" my mother since the day she started going through my things too, and started assuming stupid things as well. I know it's natural for her, I think she was born paranoid, or something. We've got so many things going on between my mom and I, and I've done plenty to go against her since that happened, but no matter what, I always have this small feeling of regret because I've hurt her. I'm not sure if she's ever realized that she's always hurt me too, but it doesn't take away the pain. Okay, back to your situation. I've never experienced that. So I may be just pre-judging. Forgive me for that. First, as an adult, it's a bit disrespectful of the boyfriend to have been there in the first place, maybe not to you but to your mother. You live with someone else so it is major courtesy not to behave like its your own place when its not. Second, she may not be a model parent, but you aren't the model child either. You've got a reason for "hating" her, and she's also got a reason for giving you sermons. Thirdly, if your mother read your diary and keeps barging in into your room, then it must mean she doesn't trust you enough. Then that trust is now between you both. Fourth, to be matured and old enough to be trustworthy, is to accept your fault when you know you have one. Fifth, hate is a strong word. I don't hate my mother, I realize, I love her still very much despite everything she's done, but I may dislike her. Sixth and my last point, if you and your sisters hated her now, then why not talk to her? SHE IS a mother, its natural for someone like her to freak out when she sees her daughter doing things with a guy. So if she has been going overboard, and you really think you're old enough and mature enough to handle yourself, then talk to her like an adult and tell her everything you feel. That's it. I'm sorry, it may not be comforting. I just think this is what is right.

hi dear i was a daughter too and i also stayed with them all through till i got married...i also had boyfriends but i wud never imagine getting them to my parents home and indulge in any such thing...u r in her house and she has all the right to chk u till u r under her care...if i had caught my daughter i wud have told her to get out of my house she has no business spoiling the sanity of my home tht i cherish with so much love and trust and care...u are too insensitive not to understand wt ur mom is trying to do for u she cares so she tells ...if u hate her then u can actually leave her house and why dont u move into ur boyfriends house...i m sure he will b glad to keep u for all the love tht u have for one another?

I'm the same age as you are, and I'd say that she had a right to berate you for your behavior. The diary thing is a bit extreme, but it is her house. I moved out when I was 18 so I didn't have to play by anyone else's rules. Personally, it was the best choice I could have ever made and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The relationship I have with my mother is much better and much more open now. Move out if you don't like the rules. Hating her isn't going to do any good, and you're old enough to be on your own.

You must feel very upset being caught.As a young man,I have often been scolded for something,and my parents have always been nagging me saying I cant do this ,I cant do that.It is really annoying.Isuggest you next time just take care not be overheard or caught by your mother.When you become independent,you wont have this kind of trouble anymore.

I don't know what to say . She should not bother in your privacy . If you are adult then parents should take control over there activity and do habbit of watching . Thanks !!!

i understand this. she should have shown herr restrain in this matter. why she did so. after your BF left, she could have told you in polite way.

Although your mother was wrong for not respecting your privacy, hate is a very strong word to use for someone who brought in this world and raised you to be the woman that you are. Think about it, when she was carrying you, your life was in her hands. Maybe you need to sit down and have a talk with her about boundaries. But you can forgive her for this if you so choose to. She is your mother and probably the best friend you will ever have on earth. I loss my mother at ten years old. Don't ever take her for granted.

There are a lot of different things to write about here. First of all, it will do no good to hate your mom. You were both wrong and you said that here yourself. Moms will be moms. If you are living in her house and doing such things with the possibility that she could come into the room, then you shouldn't be surprised that she was there and came into your room knowing that she might come in. It sounds as though you knew she might. You are right that she should knock, but it is HER house and that could be arguable. I do agree that she shouldn't read your diary. I will admit to reading personal things of my daughters, but they never knew that I did and I would never have punished them or said anything to them about what I read. I would never have admitted to them that I did it in the first place. I don't think I have told them to this day, although they have admitted to me some of the bad things that they did that I didn't know about. Parents tend to say many hurtful things when they feel betrayed and maybe you should try to talk to her about it at some other time and tell her that you feel that she should knock but at the same time, if you are only 15, 16 it shouldn't be happening to begin with. I would agree with mom. Sorry I am the mother of 4, 3 girls, and I know the things that I went through when they were younger, including a granddaughter from a daughter at the age of 17.

Yes, i agree with you, that is OVER intruding. If she wants to call herself a model parent, she should give you some privacy. Reading your diary is really a bad thing to do, because no parent should do that - it's your right to express yourself somehow and to have at least a bit of privacy.

so now your boyfriend had become your husband?