Love your husband or further your education.

You are the only one that can decide what is best for you. With the job market like it is it makes sense to want to better educate yourself so that you are able to better yourself. Jobs are hard to get right now so the better educated you are the easier it is to get hired. There is nothing at all wrong with you wanting to get a degree. Your husband should support you on that. I think it depends on what is more important to you. If you love your husband and want to save the marriage it should come first. If you feel that furthering your education is more important to you it should come first. I however feel that you should not have to make a choice like that. I feel that a husband who loves his wife should encourage her to pursue her dreams and support her if she decides to better educate herself. I hope that you all can work through this. Best wishes to you.

Honestly, if you disagree on fundamental life goals, then I don't think you should have gotten married in the first place. Your husband should support you, no matter what you want to do in life. He shouldn't be insulting you and trying to hold you back. If it were me, I wouldn't stand for it.

do u like on depending to him? what if he leaves you in the next year or something will happen to him can u handle? i saw manny women leaving houses, education, everything they had for their husband and in the end regret it badlly but too late...true love is when u want the best for the otherone, and if u really love a person u will never ask him to let go something he really wants

Tought situation! If you need to be more educated in order to feel fulfilled and have more confidence, you need to go for it. If you feel that you won't be able to survive on your current income, you definitely need to go for it. What are the reasons that your husband uses as objections for your going back to school? Is he uneducated and feeling threatened or lesser because of it? I can't think of many reasons someone would object to you wanting to bring more to the table, unless they're feeling like you're trying to undermine them. I don't know if he'd be open to counseling, but have you tried talking to him about why he doesn't want you to go back to school? Calling you a fool isn't very productive, but I'd try and see if there are reasons for it. Does he possibly feel that there isn't the extra money to take classes now? Good luck. I hope that sticking with your dreams doesn't lead to the break up of your marriage. Maybe you can come up with a compromise of some sort that will allow you to continue your relationship and move forward with your education.

no, If you husband really loves you he will want you to further your education so that you could provide more for the family. Any husband that didnt want you to I would think was very selfish.

This one is very hard to answer considering I stay at home. My husband never was bothered that I worked and I doubt he would never have been bothered had I wanted to get more education. I actually wish I had. I love my husband very much and would hate to make him angry. But, in this day and time, any man who realizes he needs my pay check to offset the inflation we have now, should be able to let me further my education. I see no reason not to go back to school for a better paying job. Would it interfere in your time with him? Would you be doing it at night, or have to take off from your job now in order to go back to school? Some people have a hard time letting go of the past - a good job, for example. They think it would be hard to find another good job and don't realize that education will help you get a better job. My daughter just quit her job of 18 years because of inflation and having to travel 35 miles one way. Gas was eating her up. She chose to take a cut in pay in order to work in her hometown and it's ended up that she is going to be better off by moving home, even though she isn't making as much. Whatever you do, think long and hard. A marriage is usually worth saving unless you have abuse within. Also, if you would be making more than your husband, could this possibly be a problem? Mine wouldn't care. He'd say go to it!

I would further my education. If he loves you he will support you and your dreams. I think it's possible to have a happy marriage at the same time as continuing your education.

Anyone, including your husband that thinks that furthering your education is a waste of time, is being selfish. I went back to school, online, to work on my bachelor's degree, and my ex-husband couldn't say one good thing about it, even when I made the dean's list. He chose his job over going to college, and that's fine, but I chose to go back to school, to hopefully be able to work at my dream job. I am still working on my degree, off and on, and I have my foot in the door, was hired a year ago for my dream job. By the way, he is not my ex because of me going back to school, there were other reasons. I do know that he felt intimidated that I had a higher education level than he did, and no he would have never admitted that. Maybe your husband feels threatened by you having a higher education. I would further your education, you never know if there will be some reason (I hope not) that your marriage doesn't last, and then you would regret not furthering your education.

I would not waste the money or the time to further your education without first spending some time to further your relationship with your husband. There are a few reasons I say this. While many people think that getting a better education is the secret to a better higher paying job that is not always the case. My hubby has $40,000 in student loan debt and works in a career that he could have started out of high school without any degree! It pays more than anything he found for his degree though, so it makes sense for him to do this. While I don't know how long you've known each other or been married and I'm assuming there's no issues of abuse or strict control behavior, I would wager you've already invested a lot of time in your marriage, so to me it would make sense to put some time and effort into rebuilding what you had - and chances are if you do that, then you could go on to pursue a degree if you still want to and probably without the hard feelings without you two. Check with your insurance company and see if they offer any mental health benefits - many do. Even if your husband is reluctlant you could always start off going on your own to help you find ways to strengthen your relationship. I know this is probably an unconventional answer, but if I were in the same situation it is what I would do.

I would go get the education and if her truely loved you and knew how much it ment to you then he would support you through it. I speak from experience. Five years ago my h usband decided that he want to go to college. We had just had a premature baby and I knew that it wouldbe a trying time for us. But if I didn't support him on it he would resent me for holding him back. You need to go for what will make you happy in life.

ch88ss, it's really sad that your husband doesn't seem to want you to further your education. Some men feel they are in control of their women by keeping them at home and relying on the man's income, and some men become jealous if their women are earning more than them. I think you need to fulfil your dreams and further your education, because if your marriage fails anyway, you'll feel sorry you didn't stand up for yourself and get your education. I think you need to stand up to your husband and be strong - tell him exactly what you'd like to do, and hopefully he'll see you are serious and understand your point of view. I think you would regret it later if you give in to your husband and allow him to own you. Good luck!

If your husband wanted to further his education then I am sure he would want your support. Talk this through again,I am sure you can work it out, I did the same when I was 39 and it did cause a few problems,but married or not I am my own person after all.

I'd go for the education myself. Years ago I turned down paid tuition for four years to marry my spouse and follow his career moves. Now, years later and spouse is wealthy and living great off of his education. Where as me - the ex - is now struggling to make ends meet. Education lasts, marriage often doesnt.

It seems to me you already know what you want to do. If you give up your plans for further study because of your husband, you will always be angry with him. I think you should do the study

I don't know about furthering my education. lol I tried that with 20 years of torture and am now happy to have my life back. lol Your situation, I think you are not a fool for wanting a better quality of life! I wanted it and it took us 4 years to get it! We are in a better place now and you both have to want it to get it. I think positively on everything we say we would like to happen and I have told hubby he has to think that way too and he is realizing that within the last month, we have had NOTHING but good luck and have been happy. Tell your husband that you want a better job to help with the bills, groceries, extra money to go out with or on vacation. Tell him you want to be able to help in any way you can and with your job now, you don't feel you will be able to do that with the way the economy is now. I told mine I was willing to go back to work if it meant getting in this house (even if I can't go back) and he knew I was willing to make more pain in my body to get in this house and so we came, looked and agreed we wanted it :) I wish you the best of luck in making your husband realize you want something that is reachable if you both want it and strive for it together. ~Icy~

I would have to further my education. If your husband can't understand that you want a better life then maybe he is not the man for you. I am not trying to make you mad or hurt your feelings but you need to be happy too and he should want you to be happy. If my husband ever told me I was a fool for wanting a better life, I would tell him he can take his crappy life and shove it. If you don't do what makes you happy just to please others, you will be miserable and you will regret it. Please think about yourself and sit down and try to make him understand. Good luck. :)

My dear you come first, anything can happen and you are left alone or out in the cold. Education will never leave you or foresake you it will only better your life. Go ahead and do something that will move you futher ahead don't be held back by someone limiting themself and you.

I'd just say this. My sister paid for my brother in law's studies and now he is a very prominent and respected lawyer. I guess its up to you but no one I've ever known has regretted a better education. They also live a lot better than other people. It may be a drag now but the payout is in a lifetime. I would like to suggest you work out a way to get the studies in. The benefits are there.

Maybe your husband is afraid that if you go back to school and get a better paying job, that you'll be making more money than he is. I don't know why but it bothers some men if their wives bring home more money than they do. It makes them feel not so important or something, like if you make more than him, it makes him feel less of a man. I don't know, maybe you should ask him that, and talk about it. If he loves you, then he'll let you do what you want to do and try not to discourage you from reaching your goals. Explain that it will benefit the both of you, you'll be able to do more of the things you want to do or buy. I myself wouldn't let anyone tell me what I can and can't do, my husband tries to, but he knows I won't listen to him, I'll do it anyway. I don't think its a good enough reason to end a marriage, you will just have to work it out the best you can. Sorry I couldn't help you much...Good Luck

I see you received a lot of very good advice here. Hope you can find peace of mind soon. I know you're undergong tough times. It's really hard to choose. But I'm sure there are ways to resolve this other than having to decide to choose between the two. You just have to trust yourself, be sincere in explaining why you'd like to further your education. I'm sure that a loving husband would detect that sincerity in you. If worse comes to worst and he still insists on his pride, then I'd say he doesn't deserve to have you. still, if love prevails, he'd realize it and find it in his heartr to work things out. Good-luck!