Rewards for potty, or no?

United States
June 25, 2008 7:28am CST
I've always been against giving rewards for going potty, as it seems the child would always expect rewards, even when they're 5 or 6... which just seems foolish. Do you believe in giving a reward for going potty, or do you just cheer and clap for them as a reward? Tell me your views.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@jonesy123 (3948)
• United States
25 Jun 08
We just cheered and did the potty-dance with a little song. Then we slowly phased that out as they got better and better at it. It worked just fine for all three of ours. I think replacing that with a star chart or something would be fine. But nothing bigger, not even a sticker or such they can place on themselves. Nothing that could turn into "expecting a reward" thing. That'll eventually balloon...
2 people like this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
25 Jun 08
No I don't believe in giving rewards to kids for things that they need to learn to do. As we become adults we don't get rewards for cleaning our house. We get a satisfied feeling for have a comfortable environment. I believe in lots of praise when they do accomplish something. hugs and praise are good rewards in my opinion. I potty trained 4 kids this way and they learned pretty quick too. Of course I didn't us the disposable diapers or pull ups then. We just didn't do that back then We never even thought about giving the kids something every time we turned around for doing what was expected of them.
• United States
25 Jun 08
All 3 of my kids got to choose 1 small gift for going potty in the big potty for the first time on their own. It was an "I'm a Big Kid" gift. It was their own graduation from baby to big kid. They only got it once and then they were praised each time after until they got the hang of it.
25 Jun 08
when i started potty training my daughter i did give her rewards for going on it. I bought a large box of chocolates and i gave her one every time she did something on the potty i dont think it was a bad idea and it soon worked for her. after she had got used to it i gradually reduced the awards to when she had a poo on it and just praised her for having a wee, i then dropped the awards off alltogether and she was fine about it so i dont think that giving rewards is necisarily a bad thing.
@kittenmc (464)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I don't give rewards as far as something physical, but I do believe in praising them. When they get older and start going on their own the praise isn't necessary. It just starts being a 2nd nature to them.
• United States
26 Jun 08
I definately do not think reward should be given for going to the bathroom. I really think rewards are used way too much now anyway! I think there is something to be said for instilling in our children the pride you can feel for working hard and accomplishing something. At this age this is hard work for them. We always made a huge deal out of every time they "made it"! We also had them help us clean up if they had an accident so they could learn to take responsibility for their actions. We were NEVER mean about it. We would just say "OH darn look at that mess" "lets clean it up" Then I would explain to them that if they had made it to the potty they would have had the fun of FLUSHING! Which used to thrill them! Children don't instictively expect rewards, that is taught to them by parents. So I thought why start! We do reward our children for going above and beyond what is typical for their age. But not on a regular basis. Just out of the blue. We dont ever want them to do the "right" thing for the "wrong" reason! Well Sorry for the ramble! Its been a while since I potty trained and it was fun to talk about it!
• United States
26 Jun 08
Please, ramble away. I'm a rambler too, especially on certain topics. Potty training is obviously one of my hot topics right now, lol. And I agree. I don't offer my children many rewards either. Certain things I just expect. Their rewards are praise and priveledges. If they don't do what I expect they don't recieve priveledges like playing video games or watching TV.
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
26 Jun 08
We used rewards for my son, and it worked out great. He had a sticker chart, and he got to put the stickers on it himself. He loved it. I don't think it automatically means they are going to expect to be rewarded, though. We took down the sticker chart several months ago, when he was fully daytime potty trained. He still uses the potty without any problems, and he hasn't started expecting rewards for other things, so I don't see any harm in it. As an adult, I get rewards for things, so why shouldn't my child? My rewards are things like bubble baths after I finish all my stuff for the day, or some quiet time with a book. Those are the things that appeal to me. Stickers appeal to my toddler, so that's what I gave him. I do give him stickers sometimes now when he's done especially good, but he never knows when they are coming, so he doesn't do things just for the stickers. Some examples of things that might earn him stickers...coming right in when I say it's time to go inside after we've been playing, not grabbing anything extra without permission at the grocery store, not crying when I'm getting my blood pressure taken (he's convinced it is hurting me, so my doctor usually gives him the sticker, to remind him that the doctor isn't a bad guy), and stuff like that. He doesn't get a sticker all the time, though. So it's not something that he just automatically expects.
• United States
26 Jun 08
I am right smack dab in the middle of the potty training now. My son is a late starter with the potty training--although we have been at it since he turned 2. He will be 4 in October and he has finally started getting the hang of it---his big reward when he accomplishes his task full time--he can go to preschool. He wants that more than anything. He is doing very well now--some days better than others--but we have moved closer to being a big boy than we were. We praise him with high 5's and cheers. He loves that. There is nothing wrong with praising a child anyway you feel fit. Praise or even a little reward goes a long way. Why do you think as adults--we get rewards on jobs? Actually, there are little rewards through out our life--and it makes a person feel really good. When my daughter was training--I used the Charmin sticker chart--she loved placing the stickers on the chart after she went potty, pulled up her pants, flushed the toilet and washed her hands. That is a lot for a little one to remember---and for her to remember all that by herself--in my eyes--deserved a sticker. My daycare children get stickers at the end of the day for whatever accomplishment they did during the day. You would be surprised what the smallest reward and just the fact that they were acknowledged by an adult, can do for a child's behavior.
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
26 Jun 08
I used gum for poop training my daughter. Once she was trained she didn't expect rewards. If the cheering works that's great, but for some children it doesn't. My daughter would have never related to the clapping and cheering being autistic, but giving her a piece of gum did. You do what works.
@GreenMoo (11834)
28 Jun 08
I think the best reward for a child of this age is loads of praise and cheering. On the (very rare!) occassions when my little one manages to use the potty we pass it around and all make a big fuss.
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
27 Jun 08
Hi I had to do the reward program because my daughter had learning disability and it was the only way to get her to go to the restroom. The reward program worked wonders and now she is 5 going on to 6 and she does it fine without any more rewards. Now I incorporate her toileting, as well as other skills she has learned in therapy into one tangile item at the end of each day. It works great for me.
@lauri_90 (25)
• Ireland
26 Jun 08
Hi, at the beginning yes, I used to reward my little boy and made a big deal out of it. Now I just praise him and say how a good boy he is for doing big boys stuff!!! I don't think the reward should last long, as they could start being greedy and demand more and more things out of it for just doing the normal things in life! In my opinion the reward is because they are learning a new thing and sometimes it takes time and they might come across some fears but once they are used to it and they know is the norm and everyone has to do it, that's it! No more rewards, just keep praise them!!!
• United States
25 Jun 08
I gave my daughter rewards when she was potty training. A piece of candy or some sort of praise. She grew out of it when she was constantly using the potty. I never saw it as a negative backlash. In adult life people get rewards in their jobs or relationships so why not give the children rewards. After a long day at work I come home and relax, that's a reward. I get a bonus for going above what's required at my job. I see no reason to hold things back from a child if they deserve it. For them, at the age of 1-2 their job is to learn how to potty.
• United States
25 Jun 08
Yes, I firmly believe in rewards. However, you also have to do something that is motivating to the child. For some children simple praise is motivating enough. For some, a piece of candy, for others a sticker. You have to find what is motivating for the child for a reward to work properly. Don't worry they will not always expect a reward. Once they get into the habit of going potty, you start to tapper off the rewards. We all do things over and over again if they are rewarding to us. Most adults go to work because of a paycheck right? Hopefully your child will just make a habit of going to the potty and feel a sense in himself as motivating enough to continue to go potty.