Celebrate your victories past and present

I remember times when I was desperate and said to God, "If you love me..." One of these was when I was a teenager going to an all girls Catholic school and was dealing with my family's health issues. I went to a winter carnival with the allowance given to me by my father. I wound up plunking all of my money on these carnie booths yet won nothing to take home to show my father. I knew that he was going to say something like, "You let money go through your hands like water" or "That money sure burned a hole in your pockets." I was upset with myself and started crying in front of the booth that I lost my last quarter on. Two janitors from Cuba whom I had befriended while I had day after day waited for my mother to pick me up after school came up to me and said, "Mary, what's wrong?" I told them that I had lost my last quarter on this stupid booth and had nothing to show for all of the money that I had spent and that I was going to get into trouble at home... They were kind. They gave me a quarter. They and I picked a number together and I said out loud, "God if you love me, let me win." The wheel spun and the marble landed on my number. I was so excited to receive and to open the wrapped mystery Christmas gift. I tore the wrapping paper off, opened one end of the plain cardboard box underneath, and began pulling a statue of snoopy in a cowboy hat playing the guitar out of the box. I thought it was a neat gift as I love to sing and hung around with people who played guitars at that time. I must admit though that when I read the base of the statue I cried again, this time overcome with much deeper feelings as the words on the bottom of that statue were: "I can't stop loving you." I had said, "If you love me let me win." The "I can't stop loving you" was a perfect response. I have found that synchronisities like this are common in my life and in the lives of all people who are alert to them... Prayers do often get answered. Miracles often occur. I have hope for better times. I have faith enough to survive the journey. There are times when I get frustrated, times when I feel alone and like a child out of sorts and irritable, times when I am scared and feeling lost, and times when I feel intense joy and peace... These emotion states and the thoughts that provoke them are not me. At my depth, there is stillness. There is a sense of knowing that all is well, that All is already alright even though the appearances are sometimes yucky, ick, not fun, horrible,etc. I know that we all are are able to utilize any experiences we have for the good of all of humanity... that we never suffer without gaining something from that suffering either for ourselves or for those who we relate with. There is nothing that is random in the view of the soul. It is the mind that believes that there is no meaning sometimes for the events that happens but the soul sees and understands the long view and the growth that is needed for all that is to evolve.