Buying Toys...

Your children are very beautiful, cherish them but don't buy them everything they want. My children are adults now and have a child of their own. We certainly did not buy them everything they wanted and they grew up to be caring and creative adults. I notice my granddaughter has only very simple toys that stimulates her creativity even though both parents are professionals and could buy anything they wanted. I have relatives who bought their children everything on the market. All three of them grew up to be selfish individuals who cannot cope on their own. They now have children of their own and the same pattern emerges. Sadly I have decided to stop giving gifts to these children. Because they have everything my presents were never good enough and were tossed in the corner after about 2 minutes. I am retired and can only afford so much for gifts. So now I don't go to their celebrations because it hurts me to see the mountains of toys and the total lack of grace, good manners and appreciation. These kids are not even taught to say thank you for their gifts. So please be reasonable and come to an understanding with your husband as to how much is enough.

I can only say I am glad my sons have past the age of playing with toys. every christmas and birthday I would spend serveral $$$ on new toys that they would play with, only to be board with them 3 months later and want something else. You proabaly know I was always out at the toy stores getting the latest action figure or remote controll car. I always felt bad that I wasn't home as often with work so I had troub;e saying no to them.

i thing there mustt be some limits to kids desire.

I agree with your wife. I watched my nephews throw fits in stores until a toy was bought for them. My kids never threw a fit in a store at the toy aisle or the candy stand. Save the toy buying for special occasions or your toy buying habits will come back to bite you in the butt.

I agree with your wife because at a young age, your child must learn the importance of money. The toys are not the most important things in childhood but it is how you maximize the use of the toys at hand. For example, you can buy three bikes for your son but you won't even spend time teaching him how to use it or simple watching him ride his bike, then that toy is useless. I myself want to give or buy every toy my child wants but if I will do it, I will be instilling in her that she can have all that she wants which is not a good attitude. I told here just last year that if she will ask me that she wants to eat a good meal in any resto, as long as I can afford it and not often requested, I would treat her anytime but she cannot have that Barbie or other expensive but not so useful toys. A good provider is not measured by the number of toys you buy a child or how much you are providing for your family. It is your time and attention that matters to them and not just you pocket and cards.

I have no kids. I really can't agree with your point of view. maybe you should let your kids know that they can get nothing without pay! I can remember that I could get everything I liked when I was a child.If my Dad refused,just needed cry! then I would get what I wanted. Now,I aways lose my temper,but I can get nothing from society.Try to practice them from now on,maybe it is better for them.Don't give all what they wanted to them,you should let them know they should pay before they get it.

well You can give them what they desire but only if you make them work for it. You are teaching them they can be lazy and to never do anything but ask for what they want. What happens when they have to survive on their own? are you going to pay their rent and buy their food? Pay their car insurance and buy their cars? You really need to sit back and think about the values you are teaching your kids. Did you work for the things you have today? yes you did and for that it gives you what you need to survive and make it on your own. My little sister was given everything she wanted and NOW my mother pays her bill and her rent. my mother buys clothes and food for my niece because my sister is too lazy to survive on her own.

now is not the time for guilt because you are not there enough (not saying you necessarily before you get all made at me) but i do know parents that are like that; also i understand your feelings, but if you give them everything they want, they will then expect that when they are adults and that is so not real life!

Though I understand your reasons, I agree with your wife. If you give your children everything they want, they will only want more. You need to teach them to appreciate what they have, and having everything is not the way to do that. Even if you can afford it, you should teach them to earn what they get- except at birthdays and holidays, maybe. A good way to do this is for young children to have good behavior or chore charts that need to have a certain number of stickers on them (or check marks, gold stars or whatever) in a certain time period- such as weekly- in order to get a (small) treat. For older children, they can earn an allowance and decide how to spend it. That will help teach them appreciation and gratitude since they had to work to earn the money. They may also be more discriminating in what they buy since they can understand the value of money. I understand wanting to give your kids everything, but it is more important to teach them the life lessons of gratitude, the value of money and how to delay gratification and work for a reward or payoff.

They certainly are cuties! You and your wife need to meet in the middle because you both have valid feelings about this. Yes, your kids should learn that they can't have everything that they want whenever they want it, it does teach them valuable lessons, but you also should be able to buy them toys because it makes you happy to do so. Maybe you and your wife can come to some kind of agreement that allows you to buy things for them but maybe not too often or too expensive.

My children are grown up now but no, I wouldn't have bought them everything they wanted. Real life isn't like that and children have to learn the value of patience and to appreciate the things they do have. Children who grow up having everything they want, assume its their right and will be sorely disappointed when the time comes for them to work for things in life. I think its possible to be too kind and generous.

no i make my 6 yr old do small chores in order to earn his own money for toys unless its his b-day or christmass b/c it teches him responsibility and how to manage money which he will need later in life

I would definently not buy them everything they wanted. They will expect that throughout their whole life. Buying them toys every once in a while is fine, I just wouldnt go overboard with it. I wouldnt want my children to think that they can get what they want all the time...when they dont get it a huge temper tantrum would follow...