what do you do

Tweet

what do you do when your whole life has been bad....from childhood up till now. i was abused mentally,sexually, physically by my father.....i was abused sexually by a neighbor who died a few years ago. toughts of suicide crossed my mind many times....the only person that kept me alive....was hulk hogan. i never had contact with him...only seen him live a few times but it was the hulk hogan character and what he stood for all those years that kept me going. until 1997 when i actually tried suicide...i hurled myself in front of a car just 3 days before xmas...but obviously it didnt work.....now im suffering with leg and back problems...i now have osteoarthritis which is something i shouldnt have for another 20 years. then came my social life...i either been with someone who truly didnt care for me...or cheated on me. i even got married but she cheated on me numerous times but i took her back like an idiot. i am now once again faced with being homeless.....so what now....do i keep going like this where im depressed everyday...or do i give up. i had my daughter taken from me by my family cause they felt i wasnt taking care of her properly.....my daughter was a healthy weight according to her doctor...and i even started getting her shots done but had no car and no help from my so called family to finish out the shots. what do you do in times like this.....i used to be a christian but im not so sure anymore....they say trust in the lord...well i did and it hasnt gotten me anywhere. so im just left with the choice....to keep on living.....or just to say screw it. people say that suicide is the easy way out...but people that say that have no idea what a person goes thru to come to that decision. would love some thoughts on this...plz no rude remarks...am in need of someone to talk to or a friend