critical situation in life need advice

i do not think you have given a very clear picture though my suggestion would be "no" for this relationship, reasons being: 1. he was just a neighbour as mentioned by you and not a friend, so there are very less chances of her in knowing about him in detail. 2. only after meeting her, he got engaged which means he was not ready to accept the fact that he was loving your friend with the other family members and also, he does not mind spoiling another girl's life by getting her engaged to him (i know that in India, its a big thing to break up engagements or marriages). 3. asking her to come wihtout her son (who is just a kid) is meaningless which raises a question of suspicion if she still has any love for him or faith in him, she may give this relation some more time (quite a long time) adn then decide, this is not a situation where hasty decision must be taken...advise her this as a good friend would always do... wish you both a happy life...

It sounds like a good arrangement. However, they should correspond for a while, so that she can decide. She should tell him she wants to bring the boy the first time they move in together. She should make sure their family can babysit, so they can date and spend time alone. They're only breaking up a engagement so far, it would be wasting the other woman's time even more if he married her, only to divorce her later! It may be a serious thing in India, but if she is already divorced, then it is getting more and more common just like in the west!

I wouldn't leave my child behind. If this person loves her as he says he does, he will wait for her...and her child. That child needs a mother. I couldn't leave nor would I ever want to leave my child behind. And what happens after she is there and he decides he cant send for the child or he refuses to bring the child to her. What happens if she is stuck far away from her child and there is nothing she can do about it? I would not advise her leaving her child behind

Dear OnTheTop, This is a very difficult situation that you present before us. The answer for me, would be a big "No", and please allow me to explain. This man may very well love your friend. However, as is often the case with men, he is so afraid of the rejection of his family, that he is not willing to do what he needs to do in order to marry her. If he loved her as much as he claims, he would have already told his fiance' that he could not marry her. He would have already told his family that although he loves them, he is not going to marry her and will instead marry your friend. And if he loved her enough to be a husband to her for the rest of his days, he would accept the child. And that means, he would not tell her he would send for her child in three to four months, he would have the child come right away, the same time that the mother comes out. It sounds to me as if this man wants his cake, and he wants to eat it too. The cake is the fiance', and the eating of it, is your friend. I think this would turn into something very ugly down the line, and by that I mean that he would probably not end up marrying your friend, but would have her on the side for a while at least, keeping her with him only through unkept promises. I am sorry and I feel badly to be a bearer of bad news. Please tell your friend that there is hope, there are wonderful men out there, who will treat her the way she deserves the be treated, and will love her child as their own. I just don't believe that this is the man who will do this for her. Tell her good luck, and just keep waiting. It will probably happen when she least expects it, and isn't actively searching for it. Carla