Ungrateful adult children

I think you should not pay more attention on your daughter! If she have gotten your meaning of sentence ,she will not do the mad thing again! However, she not ,I think the best way is to let herself to deal with this thing, if she could afford, let she do the mad thing, if she not ,don't give too much help!Then she will notice the ponderance of the problem!

All we can do is love 'em and let them make their own mistakes in life. It's really hard to see them live with the consequences of their own actions but, how else are they going to learn?

That is a difficult situation you describe, sdmoonchild. Some times using 'tough love' is the best way to show children that you really love time. In the end they are better off.

I am sorry to say this but you will just have to let them figure it out on their own even if it means becoming homeless.

Well more than likely you will have to let her work it out for herself. I had almost the exact same problem with my 20 year old. hmm.. and 19 year old.. lol. The only thing you could do is tell her you will not pick her up for work anymore unless she agrees to make a financial plan. She probably will not use it if she makes it but you can try.

sdmoonchild you need to keep reminding her about the budget and also maybe not offering rides so she has to depend on herself and do some budgeting. I learned to budget when i got out on my own in my early twenties and it stayed with me all my life too. let her make her own mistakes and learn how to remedy them. she will very soon too.

The question should be, what should the children do for thier ever caring parents ? What you have described above is a consequence of this materialistic world where people only concentrate on materialistic things. However your daughter is your blood. She will realise things as she grows older and you will see the difference in time. As parents , they will always continue to do things in the bes interest of thier children and that too selflessly.

I am not a parent but I am a 40 year old daughter of a wonderful mother who I have always appreciated. At the age of 20 I was headstrong but I had respect for my mother's opinion and can only suggest the next time she makes a snide comment about your car you tell her quite sweetly "well at least mine hasn't been repossessed dear" or "I live within my means so I don't run the risk of getting into debt like you have done" - cheeky people need to be told quite bluntly and she is your daughter at the end of the day. If you can't be honest with her, who can you be honest with? Make it clear that you find her snide comments about your car quite insulting when you are being good enough to take her to and from work with you. Learning how to budget is a fact of life and it doesn't come automatically to a 20 year old generally. She will learn with time but in the meantime it's up to you whether you choose to let her know how hurtful her comments are to you. Good luck :)

I am married to a guy that used to be like that. This is coming from experience. You need to let her fall on her butt as my mom used to put it. Tell her that if she wants to complain about your car then obviously she doesn't appreciate the effort you are going through and therefore can find someone else to give her a ride. I know it sounds harsh, but it may be what it takes. This is what happend to my hubby and it completly changed him.

Well, there's to things you can do. One, you can just let her know in the best way you can, "I'm sick of this sh|t" and let her be on her way to figure out that she really can't do it without her mother and that she is the one who is in need of more than a ride and maybe she'll change her ways. Or you can go ahead and give her some kind of financial help, then go to her about a week later saying you need help. Mess with her head; say that your home is being forclosed, or YOUR car is being repossessed. Make it seem like you did everything you can for her and no you have nothing left. Then she what she'll do, i'm sure she'll come to you with the help and the love you expect back from her. More or less, if talking to her doesnt work, go with the first one. Cheers, Charles

Well it sounds like it is time for tuff love. Let her find her own way to work. It will make her appriciate the ride. Let her lose everything. Then she will think 'I should have listened to my momma'. Then If she needs anything just say no, sorry you had your money and you wasnt responsible and I am so dont ask. I had to do this with my son that was always wanting to borrow. I also sold him a car which he only paid 1/3 of it.

I mean ungrateful is a little extreme i think im only 17 and my mom always says that im ungrateful but im not. I just want to be able to do things on my own and prove to her that i can do stuff without her help. I dont know about your daughter but to me it just feels like shes trying to baby me and keep me around forever and to be able to tell me what to do and i dont like it. i like figuring stuff out myself if i fall on my face i fall. But ill get back up and try again.