It's Only Me. I'm Only One Person!

Thank you I really hope the Church and your aunt will be able to help you. It is so bad that you do not get any help from the government. Thank God there are Churches and other organization that may

You've said my feeling EXACTLY!! I want to help her but I have a life too and I don't want to live with her either for I have my own home and I feel awfully guilty for it too!! Look at the response I put up just above yours please, you'll get a better idea of what the whole picture is. I should've added too that my nephew is renting their old place and wanted to buy it and still does but he just got married on the 26th of April and his wife already wants a divorce!! Now he can't afford to buy the house alone so now what is going to happen? We don't know. Supposidly they did put it back on active with the realestate company but being the way the housing market is... who knows when it'll get sold! Anyway, one other reason I don't want to stay with them is because I can't hear very well at all. I'm almost completely deaf and it's getting worse and worse as time goes by. Mom talks like a mouse and I can not hear her unless I'm up in her face. Sometimes she gets exasperated over me but d@mn it! I can't help it!! Does she think it's easy for me? Hell NO it's NOT!! And with her being sick as she is, I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around her. As the saying goes which holds true here, "When mom isn't happy, ain't no body happy!" I can't turn on the tv out of fear it'll be too loud, dad doesn't like the closed caption but doesn't complain but I know this because he's called me when I was home to ask how to turn it off!! So it makes me so self conscience over having it on while there! I'm not trying to paint a horrible picture here but the truth. I have my own home that I want to be at, where I feel most comfortable in but I have to be there or forever feel the guilt that I know I'll feel!! I can't handle that!! Mom taught me to be sensitive and caring and giving and think of others before myself and put yourself in others shoes and on and on and on..... She's very grateful that I'm there to help her and grateful for all I've done or my husband has done but dang, I'm only one person, I need to go home!! (I am home now but I'm going back tomorrow after I make an appointment with the dentist)

Oh I am so happy he is doing better. See, look at him getting better as a sign that things are going to get better. You have been thru the wringer, you will get thru this and things are going to get better. Think positive, I know its tough when the world is crashing down around you. Do what you can to pamper yourself and take care of yourself. Hang in there and when the going gets tough, come on and see us on mylot. We will pick you back up, set you on your feet and listen when you need us too.

I'm sorry!! I forgot to add, Bobo is doing a lot better! He's able to walk without falling over but he's a bit lopsided still. He's so depressed because he can't go outside. We've taken him out on a harness which has made his day but we can't stay out for long for we have things to get done too. I feel terrible for him but it has to be this way for he can't run fast enough to get away from a pretator or defend himself should the need arise. But we take him out when we can and stay for about an hour or so. Thanks for asking!!

There are nurses and physical therapist and occupational therapist but I'm not sure what exactly they're doing for her. They come, take her blood pressure, check her heart rate and then talk to her, that's it!! I mean, aren't they suppose to help her get a bath?? Dress her?? Well they're not. Another thing, I've typed up two long responses a few above yours, will you read those for it'll tell you the exact same thing I'd tell you. I'm so at my wits end and mentally and physically worn out.

GardenGerty, I've typed up two long responses above yours, will you read those for it'll tell you the exact same thing I'd tell you. I'm so at my wits end and mentally and physically worn out. As for mom's church, I'm going to call and see if there's any volunteers to help me out. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the hugs and the feeling of knowing that you care!! Hugs to you too my dear friend!

What is PCA care? You have my undivided attention here!! Do tell!! LOL I live in North Carolina but my parents are in Virginia. You see, we're both on the border of each state so if NC is bad for those services then maybe VA isn't? Now I'll have to add you as a friend to be able to PM you so please do accept!!

PCA care, stands for personal care assistance care provided by people you or your mom hires or you can have an agency do the scheduling and hiring for you. I have friends in Virginia who help people learn to do this, I'll give you the relevant info. Where your mom lives in Virginia will depend on who provides her services. Let me know how I can help! I live to do this kind of thing!!

Thank you so much!! She lives in Blairs Virginia which is just north of Danville. Also it's in Pittsylvania County. I don't know if this helps but they're in a low income area. Or does it go by what they make monetary wise?

Hi pye... I've typed up two long responses above yours, will you read those for it'll tell you the exact same thing I'd tell you. I'm so at my wits end and mentally and physically worn out.

Thanks so much Thoroughrob, I really appreciate that but things are better now, thank God!! I'm going to be doing another discussion in a few minutes to update all of you on what's been going on these past two days...

I was always afraid to ask my dad to do some of the things because he has a heart condition as well as diabetes and just beat lung cancer so out of fear he'd have another heart attack, I took on more than I could chew and now it's gotten to me. I'll explain more in a few minutes for I'm going to start another discussion and update you all on everything. Hugs to you too sweetie!

Thank you for BR. You know I would do any thing for you hun. You are one of my dearest friends. I may not 'see' you every day but you are in my thoughts and my prayers. I am always a chat or e'mail away if you need me! mwahh! (((HUGS)))

Hi Tammy, I don't usually give out best responses because I hate doing so for it's like saying one is better than the other BUT I just had to here for you've given me some very good information and obviously, you went out of your way to help me here and for that, you deserve the best response!! Thank you thank you and thank you!! I most definetly will be checking the links out. In the meantime, I'm going to start another discussion in a few minutes to give you all an update. Hugs to you my friend!!

In my opinion, parents are selfish to have only one child because it deprives the child a sibiling to grow up with. That's not to say they won't fight for they will but they most likely will be close(r) when they get older and have each other to lean on when it's needed. I've tried to explain that to someone on here and they didn't get it. My dad was an only child and he hated it. I so feel for you when your time comes. I so feel for you.

I didn't mean to offend you Tess and your situation is completely different, your mom and dad did try. There are so many others that stop at one child and don't try for more. That's not fair to the only child. They all should have a sibiling whether it be a brother or a sister because parents don't usually live as long as their children. I understand that we all may get married some day and have a spouse but something about having a sibiling(s) that's yours and yours alone. My parents had 7 children but only 3 of us lived.

Hmmm not all parents are selfish for only having one child. My mom wanted more, and miscarried every time. I didn't understand when I was a child begging for sisters, but I learned when I got older.

I will always be here for you my dear friend! I am off to look for your update - if I don't get too distracted! xxx

It's just now getting better mummymo, well in some aspects it is and other things have gotten worse, I'm about to start another discussion to give you all an update. Thanks for being there for me!!

Awww you're very sweet!! I wish you were closer to me too!! I did have a nervous breakdown last night in which I cried and cried. I had to take some medication for my anxiety to calm myself down and it worked. I didn't go to bed till well after 2 am and when I did, I slept like a baby.

Thats good, by crying like that you are letting it all out. All the stress and fears and anger, everything are being released, this will only serve to make you stronger. Sleep too is good medicine.

I was going to do that today but got called out to help mom and dad get her to the doctor. Always something going on that prevents me from doing what I need to do for myself. My husband did call my doctor today about the darn referral to the audiologist so I can get my hearing aids on the way but they haven't gotten it yet from my insurance company.

Not that I wish this on anybody but FINALLY someone who's been through exactly what I'm going through. The only difference that I can see is I'm a half hours drive from them but I wish I were closer for it might be easier for me. I have taken breaks and came home from time to time and I'm home now for good but it seems it's too soon and I need to go back.

See I look at it the other way. Be glad for that 30 minute drive - because it may be the only 30 minutes you get that day. Living two blocks from my mom during that time period made it oh so much easier to call me for the tiniest things. Can you come over and switch the laundry? An hour later - can you come start a new load? Then, can you come call my doctor for me - even though the phone was there, she did after all just call me. LOL Most of the time I just joked with her about it. Sometimes I was frustrated but tried not to let it show. After all she didn't choose to be in bed with cancer. It will get easier, trust me.

You are so lucky to have one to help you out. I wish I did and I'm not looking for sympathy but merely an outlet at times when I need it. You are so right about the assisted living, I couldn't suggest such a thing for three reasons, they wouldn't stand for it because they like the country living life, dad wouldn't have it no way no how, and they have 5 cats and 2 small dogs whom they'll never part with which I can completely understand for I'm an animal lover myself. Thanks for the idea though for it was a good one but it just won't work.

None of us can afford any nursing care other than what she's getting now which is a nurse coming an hour a day three times a week as well as a physical therapist and occupational therapist two or three times a week. I don't know anybody in this area that well because we just moved here, hubby just retired from the army last year. My parents just moved four hours south of their old home.

I don't think my hubby or my mom could handle him wiping her behind when she needs it. The stroke had messed up her motor skills and she can't do it very well so we have to. She's embarasses enough as it is so don't want to push the envelope further. I'm going to have to go to my appointments because my mouth is hurting now. God only knows when I can get in for I'm new to this dentist because I didn't like my other one. He costs more than I can afford. I've typed up two long responses above yours, will you read those for it'll tell you the exact same thing I'd tell you. I'm so at my wits end and mentally and physically worn out.

You are very right about the assisted living idea however, I couldn't suggest such a thing for three reasons, they wouldn't stand for it because they like the country living life and they just bought a "new" house, dad wouldn't have it no way no how, and they have 5 cats and 2 small dogs whom they'll never part with which I can completely understand for I'm an animal lover myself. Thanks for the idea though for it was a good one but it just won't work.