should one be happy with an arranged marriage?

I have never met anyone who was happy in an arranged marriage. Most arranged marriages are miserable, unhappy marriages. One of my cousins is in an arranged marriage. We are giving it about five years. After she gets her U.S. citizenship, she is divorcing him. My cousin never pays any attention to his wife, and he never socializes with anyone. I do not know how his wife puts up with him. I feel sorry for his wife. My cousin is American and his wife is from the Philippines. From what I hear she is a wonderful woman, but my cousin is not a socialable or, at all, a wonderful man. Honestly, I never remembered seeing him with another woman. His wife is in a doomed arranged marriage. A few women I met in college were in arranged marriages, the minute they received their citizenships and found a nice place to live, they left their husbands. They thought that their American men would be kind to them, but they were not.

Hi dear ur seems to be a love marriage rather than arrange marriage, sure ur families have terms and u know each other since childhood, but he become ur boy friend, 5 yrs ago, so u spend good three years as lovers before decided to get maariied. So its purely LOVE MARRIAGE Arrange marriage is like u meet ur fiance or partner after engagement or wedding, like mine

Hi there summerrain, Don't get confuse with other opinion. When you are happy, are you gonna refuse that? No dear. Don't get blown with other opinion. As long as you and your family happy, then, whats wrong with that?? I think what a really you should do is thanks to God, because not every body got lucky like you. good luck to your marriage ! Ooxx`dian. Oh! by the way, i love your avatar! That is a really nice drawing!!

Of course you can be happy with an arranged marriage, summerrain ... and you're proving it to be true. You have known this man nearly all your life, and obviously he's a good person. I think arranged marriages have a really good chance, because parents will choose someone they think will make their daughter or son happy, and if you start as friends, a loving and strong relationship can grow. You probably have a much better chance than people who meet someone, get carried away with the passion of the moment and get married quickly! I wish you lots of happiness with your marriage, and if you are both happy now, you have every chance of continuing to be.

Yours doesn't sound like an arranged marriage to me. I've always understood an arranged marriage to mean the parents chose their child's spouse, regardless of what the child wishes. Your post says you grew up together so grew to love each other. I myself would not be happy with an arranged marriage. Would be like asking an apple to marry an orange without knowing what would happen to the two when mixed. You need to get to know someone first for love to happen.

Yes,arranged marriages are always better due to mutual understanding between both the families and parents.The same marriages can prove to be the best ones if personal liking is also included in them.We must discourage temporary relations in our societies.Then marriages should be made easier and cheaper so that every one can afford them easily.

Love marriage or an arranged marriage the question of being happy depends on the person.There has to be alot of give and take in any marriage.Ofcourse one can be happy in an arranged marriage.I have had an arranged marriage and it has been 26 years now.I never knew my husband at all.I had just seen him before marriage we never even spoke to each other before we got married.I have no regrets.There has been some ups and downs which happens to everyone but then we tided over it.Now my son who is 24 years old just cant imagine how we accepted an arranged marriage.Things were so different back then.we just gave in to our parents wishes.We need to make things happen for us.One has to work on a marriage.All the best to you.You can be happy in an arranged marriage so just go ahead and get on with life.

Hold on, you said you knew each other since childhood then he became your boyfriend 5 years ago? Then that's not arranged marriage. You know, NO ONE can ever tell you that you can or cannot be happy with something or someone. Only God can do that because He planned our lives out. maybe the person who told you this generalized arranged marriages. In your case, if you and your husband are happy then so be it!

Yes I think that one must be happy with an arranged marriage,because it is decided by the parents and most of the love marriages have been successfull compared to love marriages.In love marriages definitely the understandig between the people is more,but studies reveale that most of the love marriages are a failure.So I think love marriages are better.

How totally ridiculous for anyone to say such a thing. Of course anyone can be happy in an arranged marriage. If the couple continue to grow in respect of each other, be kind to each other then so will their love and happiness grow. Take that away and sure you wouldn't be happy in an arranged marriage but you wouldn't be happy in any marriage either no matter how that marriage came to be. Don't let anyone plant seeds of doubt in you about your life. It is your life you make it what you want. Obviously up to now you have created a wonderful happy marriage together; so leave it at that.

I think it may be good if the couple still get to choose in the end if they want to pursue the person they are set up with for real. Otherwise I don't think they should be forced to do something they are not going to be happy with. However I am not against parents introducing their sons or daughters to suitors that could be of good nature and respect to the individual.

my husband and i got to know each other by my father's colleague.our marriage is an arrange marriage,but not completely.we have choice. my husband is a good man,he is kindness,and have a good job.always respect my thinking.i don't deny that sometimes we fight over a small things.but i feel happy with him.i think i can't find another man who is good to me as him.

it depends... if you love the one you marry and he loves you too, then there's happiness in marriage...but if not and you don't even know him, well, that's sad...

hello, don't let anyone tell you when to be happy. God works in mysterious ways.You found your man in an unusual situation but it doesn't mean that there is no love.you did not opposed to the idea of being married to him it means that you cared for him.Continue loving the man

summerrain, Although, your marriage was arranged by your parents, I felt that you have a little fortune on your side and that is having to know your husband when the both of you were still young. Majority of these arranged marriages does not share the same precondition like yours and most of the time the couples are being rushed into their nuptial knot before one could be acquainted with the other. A lot of times these marriages fail but due to certain unspeakable issues i.e. tradition, egoism, reputation and etc., they just look normal and functional. I think a lot of these traditionalists have taken the new generation much for granted. With the new exposures through education and the western culture, the new genre now demands more freedom and democracy in their life. This has led to some zero tolerance in these situations and therefore, we have couples marrying all for the wrong reasons and have motives involved. Sometimes, I felt that letting children have their say in this is also an act of love on the part of a parent. I am not saying this for the sake of shrugging away parental responsibilities but rather a way for their children to be more independent and decisive in the aspect of their social life. Besides, with all the education and upbringing, I am confident that the children will turn out well if they were left on their own at the rightful time and age.

summerrain it all depends on the man and woman,if you became boyfriend and girlfriend five years ago and are in love, who cares what kind of marriage you had, you two are happy and that is all that counts. do not let others upset your way of thinking. if tweo peole love each other that is all that matters, you will be happy. so some arranged marriages can be happy ones such as yours. I think that is great. be happy.

I dont think so .

I dont think a marriage should be arranged. I think you should be able to marry who you want. I he was already your boyfriend and you all were already close i wouldnt consider your marriage being arranged. unless im reading this discussion wrong.

i am happy with an arranged marriage. one of my relative acquaint my spouse with me two years ago.and quickly we married.

I would like to congratulate you for being happily in love with someone you had known for almost all your life. Actually you are very lucky that you met your husband when you were still young and that you're relationship has a very good foundation. Many people are unhappy with arranged marriages because a lot of people involved in this are actually just being forced to love one another. Some people who are into these barely know their partner and that's what they really don't like. Most of the time too arranged marriages are being done to ensure financial stability of families. Would you like that the reason for your marriage is just to attain more wealth without really all the love? I mean that is not really what marriage is all about right?