I can't understand my mom

why does she have to do that to you? Is she out of her mind? sorry for the word but a real mom who loves her kid would not do the things you have shared us..and especially calling you a trouble and blaming you for your sickness that's very awful thing to say..you did not want to be sick so why accuse you of being a trouble or a burden? she have to understand your situation and not blame you..and hurting you just because she can't find what she is looking for..that is really not right.

you must understand your mom, she does it all for you, although you don't like it,your mom love you and she want to do something for you , maybe she has a wrong way, you should talk about it, say out what you wanna, i consider your mom will change for you, maybe it takes many long times.

It is very hard to understand mothers, but please dont think that your mother dont like you, may be because she has to take care of many things thats why she might feel frustrated some times and naturally the frustration has to be shown on children, most of the times it happens with me as well , you will be surprised to know this I will scold my 18 months old daughter some times, if she does any wrong or if I am in bab mood , I will scold her but later I realize what she knows about it then I will take her back hug and kiss, this happens with mother, mother has all rights on kids it is just that you are misunderstanding your mother, but mother likes you very much , to avoid this situations next time before she gets angry you try to console her or give her immediately what she wants or respond to her properly, you start loving her even though she scolds you , you respond it with love I am sure she will change after all she is your mom!

i suggest you need to know more about a certain topic in psychology in order for you to know why your mom is like that. If i am in your place, I will try to play with her how she would be pleased. Then maybe, that is the start of how we will get to understand well each other. If she won't understand you, then understand her first. She'll do the same later. Good luck!

I doubt you will ever understand an abusive Mother. If she refuses to get help for her problem (and she does have a problem) then maybe you can go stay with a family member for awhile, if not and child protective services doesn't intervene and remove you and your sibling from that abusive atmosphere then as you finish growing up try to reminded yourself that it really has nothing to do with you, this is your mothers problem which she is mishandling. It in no way makes you a bad person or deserving of being treated in such a way. Never let her convince you that she is this way because of your illness or because of anything you are your siblings have done, because she is an adult and she should take responsibility for her actions-good or bad-and not try to blame children for them.

Hello, I am a mother, and also I am a daughter.... My mother was not good also, she was calling me bad names, cursing me to die, blaming me for her problems, for spending money for my education, calling me ugly, and she was jealous when people were saying I am pretty. Me I was always a good person and a good student, causing no problems. My mother hurt me a lot, but I knew that being a daughter is not the only role in life for a girl...You have a lot of roles to play in life, and when you grow and leave the house you will not need your mother anymore, so you will not have to listen to all the mean things she says. Just be patient and...silent, just try to be good at school, and good person, and keep away from her as possible, so you avoid fights, especially when you see that she is nervous with her own problems. Then when you yourself become a mother you can become the mother you always wanted, a good, protective, caring, loving mother, that puts her child first. This will be your biggest reward for everything and your best revenge against your mother. Good luck and remember, patience!

it may be she is so much depressd with life. she is fed up with herself. it may be the case taht she thinks herself a complete failure. so she is acting like this. have anice talk with her and clear the air.

Maybe your mother is just stressed out. I don't think that she really hates you. Sometimes, people do strange things when they are stressed out. I'm sure that your mother really loves you. She just doesn't know how to express her love well.

Probably your mom is stressed. She is like me where it is difficult for me to show affection to my children outwardly. She does love you as her daughter but she did not show it through her outward behavior. Please do not blame her for her little faults. It is her style of bringing her children up.

Wow, I don't completely know what to say. Because the way she treats you is just terrible. I can relate to it to a certain extent, but with me it's always been more from my dad. Most of my life if I got upset or cried I would get yelled at and he would go off, he definitely wasn't physically abusive, but very verbally abusive at times. And it was like I was expected to be happy because I had things, because he bought me things it was like that was supposed to make me happy. But the truth is, while I am grateful for everything I have, sometimes the way he treated me made me wish it was a bruise or something, because people can't seem to understand why you are depressed because of stuff people say, just when there is physical bruise. But I know something, I have gotten cuts and bruises before, and they heal and go away, but words and the way someone treats you never goes away. Anyway, I definitely think it is horrible the way she treats you. And if I knew how to deal with it myself I would definitely share it with you, but I just have to get through each day, and try to just stay quiet and try not to say or do anything that is going to set him off. Actually, I've recently noticed as my dad gets older he's not as bad, he still says stuff that hurts me, but my mom has been flipping out on me more for showing my feelings and stuff. I definitely don't think anyone should have to be scared of their parents or anyone else, but sometimes it really if easier to try to block it out and do what you can to avoid confrontation. (I know, easier said than done!)

I have not been into your situation. My mother has mood swings but she doesn't do anything like that to me. I can feel the love of my mother. Your problem is not new to me, I have also a friend who asks same question as yours. She really can't understand her mother. She didn't even know why her mother, as she said, hates her. She cries every time they have quarrels with her mom. In my part, I really do not know what to say. I can't relate to such situation. However what I said to her, and I'll be saying it to you too, your mother has her own problem. I think your mom is also hurt of what she is doing to you and it's even harder to her part because she doesn't know what to do about it and how to make up to you. You need to have a heart talk with your mom. It may seem impossible but it is worth the try. Rather than you let all these things happen again and again. Know what's the real problem and try to understand her. :)

Oh wow, thats totaly not cool:( somtimes i do not undertsand my mother eaither. her thing is. i dont have daycare at the moment, she doesnt wanna watch my child while i work and go to school BUT she gripes ans gripes and gripes if i dont.lol. moms are confusing at times, im really sorry oto hear that you are sick:( None deserves that.. and its really low for your mother to blames thoes things on you. Mabey she is stressed out with it all?.mabey she needs a break. i mean yes its still not an excuse for doing the things she did but.mabey that will help her some... somtimes we just dont understand things and we never will, but i do know that we must forgive if you dont, and you hold grudges over things like that. youll be misrable and you dont really want that...

I'm really sorry to hear what you go thru with your mother. Something someone told me a long time ago helped. "You cannot reason with insanity." My best advise would be not to expect motherly love from your mother, because you may never get it and the damage of expecting it could hinder your health and hapiness. Draw from the love you get from other people in your life. Cherish that. Forgive your mother and feed your mind with as much positive input as possible to protect against the negative you receive from her. Don't buy into anyone telling you that you are to blame or that you are a problem. Life is the biggest gift God has given us. So live it to the fullest of your capability. If you can get a hold of any books, cds or whatever that lift your spirit and keep it up, please do so.

I am new here and I am a foreigner. But I think every mom in the world is love their child. So I think we should try to understand them.After all I think maybe you'd better say "I love you" to your mon .

It makes me difficult to believe that your mom can do such an unpleasent things to you. May be she is under pressure or under tension and that she expresses her tense feeling by putting blame on you. You need to see the things from her angle also...and try to see youself in her shoes, you may be able to realise the situation in a balanced manner.

From what I read, she seems to love you all. And to show that love, she showers all of you with material things. I guess the stress of having to face work, problems at home is making her cranky. Letting her rant would be one way to calm things down. Then approach her on what you feel she is doing wrong when she is in a better mood would help. I am sure there are days where you enjoyed the time you spent with her. With so many things on her mind now, she is probably just stressed out. Try talking to her about how you feel on her better days. So that she can see and know how you feel, maybe she may change her ways a little. Tolerance play a great part in family. Only with tolerance and love can a family function like a well greased machine. Perfectly! I do not know what is PNH, but I do hope you have a speedy recovery!

Hi kharen, you know what? After reading your post... I realized that I'm lucky to have a nice and kind mother. I'm so lucky to have her and she's my bestfriend. Anyways, back to the main topic. Why did she always blame you eventhough it's not your fault having that kind of sick. I can't imagine, it's just like a drama I've seen in television. Well, time will come your Mother will realize everything she does with you and the rest of your family. Its really awkard when you have those materials things yet you can't feel the presence of your Mom's LOVE. Aww. I hope you feel better now sis, just pray to God that she will change her attitude na. HEhehe.

U can't understand her, and u dn't deserve what she does to u. Look sometimes adults can act more childish about things then kids.. and it sounds like ur dad loves u alot and maybe she is a little jealous of that... or maybe she is just aggrivated, its hard to live with someone who is sick and sometimes u tend to blame the person even though it isn't their fault, i know my dad has C.O.P.D among other problems and it gets a little ruff when u have to run around taking them to doctors and what not... its hard on her, not that i am making excuses for the way she is treating u... just stay strong u will b ok

I know even your mom is like that she still loves and i know you love her too.I suspect she was just pressured or under stress maybe.Sometimes mom can say and do anything to express their feelings.My mom was like that.She and my dad had encountered alot of problems before specially with finances.So,sometimes she yell at us or argued with our dad.But my dad would just keep quiet and said we just have to understand her because she has alot of stress.She was more affected with problems than my dad.I guess commonly women do.Perhaps you just have to understand her anyway, its not a worst that a mother did.If you feel its really too bad then i guess you should seek help from your dad or other people you think that can help you.

i understand your feelings because my mom sometimes is like that... all i can do, is to ignore what she is saying and prove she is wrong,, explaining is not bad but as long as you don't raise your voice to her, and why you dont give her a letter? a letter that you can say what you really feel about her, and what really need from her...