Hes leaving me
By Micheala
@Micheala (5)
United States
July 1, 2008 12:50am CST
The man i love came all the way up to iowa to be with me. He had no family because he was at job corp. Well he stayed with his mom the week before he came up to see me and he hadnt seen her for years, and now hes here with me. And i love him SO much! I want to be with him so bad,But he wants to do back home to mississippi. but he has a picture of a girl he used to like in his wallet, in the back of the wallet right next to me, he says that he wants to rub me in her face when i get down there with him and he tells me he doesnt like her anymore. But is this true, if he didnt like her and she blew him off would he really keep this pic if there were no feelings? Its so sudden, My room is a mess nothing is packed and hes leaving in a week and a half, not enough time for me to be ready. I dont want him to leave but begging and postponing woulndt do any good because hes been planning to go back the moment he got here. I dont think he wants to be with me anymore because its like hes just walking out on me, we were going to get married and he said he wanted to but at the last minute he backed out and told me he wasnt ready,. then he said he was, and then again to day he said he wasnt. Hes putting me through hell and playing games and then blaming me for them. Hes been calling me names and geting mad at nothing and ignoring me. Is this his way of getting away from me? He said if i wanted to drive there with him he wants me to because he love sme, but if he does why is he treating me this way? What can i do to keep the man who asked me to marry him because i dont want to lose him.
1 response
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Honey, cut him loose and count your losses and move on.
This man doesn't love you. He may think he does, but he doesn't. When you love someone you don't treat them the way he is treating you.
And you don't carry around another womans picture in your wallet. I don't know all the details but it sounds like he's rebouned to you. He still has a thing for this other woman. He's hurt and angry at her for dumping him and he wants to use you to possibly trigger some jealousy in her.
I know your hurting now, but there's a whole world out there full of wonderful men, men that are loving, trust worthy, faithful. That want the same things out of life that you want.
Enjoy this time in your life, get to know lots of different men. I DONT MEAN SLEEP WITH THESE MEN. Just enjoy dating and doing different things.
@pehden (84)
• United States
1 Jul 08
I do love her, I am just home sick and want to go back. The other picture is in there to remeber my life. I want Cheala to go with me, but I when I get there I wouldnt have a place for us 2 dogs 2 cats. And she has a place here until I can get one myself.
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
2 Jul 08
pehden,
I can understand being homesick, really I can. I admire you for breaking your engagement because you weren't ready, that couldn't have been easy for you or her.
When you love someone you do not, and I quote
"Hes putting me through hell and playing games and then blaming me for them. Hes been calling me names and geting mad at nothing and ignoring me. Is this his way of getting away from me"
And this part.
"but he has a picture of a girl he used to like in his wallet, in the back of the wallet right next to me, he says that he wants to rub me in her face when i get down there with him and he tells me he doesnt like her anymore."
pehden, a person doesn't do things like that when they are really in love with someone. When you really love someone, you try to protect their feelings, you try to shelter them from hurt.
You really need to be honest with yourself about this other woman. If you still have feelings for her then at least admit it to yourself.
You're too young to be holding onto a picture as a reminder of another life that didn't turn out the way you had hoped. For starters, that isn't emotionally healthy.
What love does is protects, shelters and lifts up.
What love does not do is inflict pain, hurt, and tears down.
I'm sorry, but I still think this young woman needs to let you go to sort out your past.
And she needs to move on with her life.
@Micheala (5)
• United States
3 Jul 08
thank you ma'am for your advice, im ready to get out before my heart is broken, we havent made love in a week which is strange for us and he wont touch me, then he got into his car and left, usually he asks me to go with but he didnt. i dont know if he has some girl here going down with him or if shes their waiting. all i know is this is to much heartbreak for a girl of 19 to have to go through everyday, getting blamed for everything that goes wrong in his life...
