Are you a giver or a taker?

I am a giver. i always try to provide what i can to my family. its been since long time.I am never a taker in most cases. i know my family needs me.

I think we are all both to a degree. I say this because there are few of us, myself included, who take into account everything that we take and make conscious efforts to return them or make provision for someone else. There are some things that we are given that can never be repaid and others we have never thought to repay. Most people do what they think they can and that is it. Me myself, I have to give sacrificially because I know all the people that gave sacrificially for me. Parents, teachers, pastors, friends, revolutionists, etc.

I am a giver but it is mostly for my kids, and thier friends and half sibblings. I love to make them happy. As of a matter of fact my husband just told me that i do more for the kids then I do for "us". But kids happiness is so important to me. Like me and my hubby planned a family vacation and at first it ws just us, well now there are 8 going ranging between the age of 18-3!!!! I am so excited!! Thay...WE are going to have a blast!!

Actually, if your hubby is the type that likes "having the life of him sucked out," there is nothing much you can do about it. At least here in India, men have this mentality. They feel a wife is recent arrival, but their darling sisters, Mom, and so on have been with them for years. So whatever the sisters demand they give, and they don't like it if the wife objects. However, if your hubby really doesn't like catering to the the unnatural demands of his family, both of you can get together and tell them their limits. Doing this alone will be tough. I wish you luck. Cheers

Before commenting on this topic, i have to say that this may be one of the reason for you in not getting the proper sleep... the attitude of your Husbands sister is continually.. acting in the back drop of your mind.. your mind is constantly making the permutation and combinations to tackle the problem, in a smoother way..without wounding the feelings of any one.. And to answer this, one directly, i am always a giver to the needy.. If their is need i share.. to the extent that i can, but not at the cost of my suffering.. If i am in a situation like this, i would directly say to your Husbands sister.. that your family is need of more money.. or i will rather ask your Husband to lend from his sister some bucks,. citing some urgency reasons... repeat this for some time.. and simply follow the policy.. of not returning the money to her.. This will make her realize and i am sure that she will not ask money from your husband in future.

I really believe it is better to give. I consider myself a giver and just generally feel better over all about it. Constantly asking and taking especially when it comes to money can really be looked has taking advantage. It is just not good policy in my eyes. It makes you feel like you are not worth anything but what you can give to somebody sometimes. People who keep coming back asking for money and not showing any other concern is really a sad situation. Good luck!

I am definitely a giver but I think I am going to becomer a harder person as lately I have noticed that sometimes this is the only time people are good friends is when they want something, it has taken me a long time but I think the penny has dropped...

I try to be a giver but sometimes I get fooled by people and its hard to want to help someone when they really did not need my'help at all. If my best friend would ask for money or other help I would not hesitate as she is also a giver but some people who I barely knew have used me and now I refuse to loan them anything or give them anything.They never pay back and never offer to help so no more.

My mother was like that, it was awful! She too would never come out and ask for something, but she'd complain until you gave in and said you'd do it for her. If you didn't she would get mad and give you a guilt trip. Living with her was heck. I had my son when I was 17, but lived at home till 21. I had to quit school to work full time, and she would always want me to pay bills and buy groceries, so I could never save ANY of my own money. To make matters worse she didn't drive, so not only would I have to buy the groceries, I'd actually have to go get them myself. She once called me at work to go get groceries on my lunch break from work! Living with her was so stressful that when I moved out I did not give her my phone number. She found me anyways, and it continued for a few years. I would have to drive to the other side of town to pick her up and take her shopping and bring her back home. Then she got evicted from her apartment and somehow got me to agree to let her move in with us. I had a husband and 3 of my own children, and in comes my mother, 15 year old brother, and 9 year old sister. Well things went very badly. My brother and sister were doing some horrible things I did not agree with, and taught my children very horrible habits I am still trying to shake out of them. So one day everything kind of blew up and my mother ended up insulting my husband... so I told her to leave. She and my siblings started walking, and I haven't seen or spoken to any of them since. Good Riddance.

Now, I'm not a taker and giver. Sometimes I think I 'm a small taker to my brother and my sister's giver, haha, sometimes, I give them little money or food. I know there is many adult still asking money from their parents, even their parents let them have a good life, then they can not struggled very hard. But I really don't think sister and brother will be a giver or a taker to each other, they are going into society and have job, almost at the sometime, they are at the same situation, even not, they will not give money, just lending some to whom are lack of money.

I would have to say that i am both cause i like to take and give... I love to give people my advice and love and care to people but i also like have attention and all the stuff too.. My husband is really is a taker he likes me to take all the from me but he doesn't like to give it to me... I love him he just doesn't love me back you know.... I give him all the attention and he doesn't like to give some of the attention.

I try not to take anything from anybody especially money. I don't want things to come back and bite me as they say. The people I may take things from are my parents. But even then I give back. My parents look after my daughter while I work. They wouldn't have it any other way. But I provide everything they would need to look after her from bottles, nappies etc. They won't take money so I buy gifts and things for them. I know what you mean about family just taking things from you. My husband's family are the same. They only call when they need something, like to take them here and there even though they have a couple of cars.

Of course i am a giver 'course i just wanna be a philanthropist,you know. Maybe you should talk to her asap.