Get married immediately after college. What do you think?
By leealice67
@leealice67 (221)
China
July 3, 2008 11:37pm CST
More and more girls prefer to get married immediately after college with a wealthy and maybe old man these days. I was shocked the first time I heared this. But soon I find out the reason. Getting a good job for a college student is getting harder and harder, especially for a girl in my country. The reasons are first there are so many college students who want to find a job every year but the jobs are not enough; second many college students don't have work experience which companies need; third many won't do those jobs which pay less than they expected. As a result, some girls turn to get married with a rich man after graduation and begin to enjoy without working. I am not sure how many of them will be happy after marriage and I don't agree with this idea. For me, to marry a man mostly owing to his money is unacceptable. What do you think?
7 people like this
49 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
4 Jul 08
I think it is a little sad that young people are settling for marriage so young, life can be a long time to spend it just with one person, I think there should be a lot of independent living before living a life where your life is to be shared with someone else...independence should be experienced for awhile at least.
1 person likes this
@leealice67 (221)
• China
4 Jul 08
Yes, independent living is very important for every one. Only by indepent living can one understand life much better and will get along with another person much easier.
1 person likes this
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
Yes. Different people have different choises. You are new here, right? I have a slight suggestion. It is helpful when you clarify your response in details. If you want to earn more money by one response here, the safest way is to clarify your response. You get paid not by how many responses you made or how many discussions you started but by how many effective responses and discussions you made. I don't think the admistrator will consider the one sentence response effective response. Welcome to mylot and happy mylotting here.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
8 Jul 08
I don't know the exact standard either. But I was told that it's better to be descriptive and make sense. I guess it's better to be at least three or four sentences long.
@heero1103 (322)
• Philippines
8 Jul 08
I think it is not right for a woman to get married right after college, because it will be hard for her to work if she gets pregnant. Well, that is IF. And, men are a bit possessive, so you might not enjoy your life
@leealice67 (221)
• China
9 Jul 08
That's right. Women who are already married or with babies are harder to find a job. This is true in my country too. I don't think it is fair and I am angry about this but I can do nothing to change it.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
In fact, there are a lot of job vacancies. One of my friends once complained to me that they couldn't find the right person for their jobs. Some were not competent while some were too utilitarian. Many can not work from the start and work up gradually.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
8 Jul 08
There are job vacancies for freshmen. But they just pay a small amount of money. If one wants to be experienced, they have to take those low paid jobs first. I did this way and after two years I can choose.
@tennis_boy (102)
• Pakistan
8 Jul 08
no way dude wat happened to u......u look stressed out......well i dont think so....i wont
@leealice67 (221)
• China
10 Jul 08
Yes. Life is long and we have a lot to enjoy, so we needn't hurry to marriage.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
I do not agree with the idea of getting married immediately after graduating from college. Why would one want to get married immediately when she has a life ahead of her? I mean with good education, one can go far career wise.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
8 Jul 08
Nowadays, there are so many people with good education and they all need a good job, which makes the start so difficult. Therefore, some choose to give up trying and escape.
@rosema (1145)
• Philippines
5 Jul 08
Hi leealice67, I dont think its a good idea to get married immediately after college, because for me, we need to enjoy ourself first and i think we need to help our parents and get a good job, its also for our future, i know it is hard to get a work now adays but it is more harder to find work if you are married. thanks and have a nice day.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
Yes, for women it is the fact that after marriage they can't get a job easily. Most companies do look down upon girls especially married ones. We can not change the fact but we can work well and show then we can.
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
7 Jul 08
I think a girl must also achieve something in life before marrying. Maybe they also have some desires. My girlfriend really likes to make her career before we marry and I totally agree with her. Because she has full right to build a good career which will ensure the future of our baby and am also convinced to build my career, to be successful first before marrying. Marrying directly after college is a bit dull because we have no time to enjoy life as being single to make our career. It is useless to hurry when we have to spend the whole lifetime togetherr.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
8 Jul 08
That's right. We actually needn't hurry because we have a life long time to be together. By the way, you have a very good girlfriend. Get hold of her and don't let her go away. And be with her when she needs you. And be financially independent yourself! :)
@andyel2023 (218)
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
well it's their own decision..but me, i prefer to be successful in my own perseverance and determination rather than getting married and just be a housewife..
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
Best wishes to you. For me, I don't want to be housewife but I prefer to have a helpful husband. It's hard for a woman to work up all by her own. If there are some assistance even mental support from a man, a woman may grow faster. This is just my point of view. Don't take it so seriously. :)
@qhwater (392)
• China
7 Jul 08
i also some stories like that. but i really doubt that those girls life will be happy. maybe at the first step to this society, they feel money is the most important thing in life. actually after a few years, they will change their minds. i do think that most of them will be sorry about their decision before.
why do not they make money by themselves and marry a decent man who love them deeply?
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
I think so. I suppose most girls will repent later. Because people say when one is materially satisfied they will long for mental satisfaction. I doubt how many of those girls will get mental satisfaction.
@srpkinja (375)
• Canada
8 Jul 08
i dont think its such a wise decision to get married right after college. if you have that special someone, who youve been dating for those long, hard years, whats an extra few years? when i finish school, i plan to move in with my boyfriend. before you get married and "get stuck" in a relationship that you dont know what will be like after marriage, consider moving in together. when you see what kind of person your partner is after moving in together, then would be the good time to decide. and anyways, what is the harm in waiting? before you get married you might want to save some money, find a good place to live, and even travel. take things slow coming right out of college, thats what i would do.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
9 Jul 08
You have a wise choice. It is helpful to move in and stay together for a period of time to learn more about each other before marriage. Good to you and to your love. Enjoy your time together. And thank you for your time to read my discussion.
@azn_boo (36)
• United States
7 Jul 08
It is better to finish college than no education at all. If it is hard to get a job after college in your country, why not apply a job to the United States or somewhere and get a working visa since the husband is rich to pay for her visa to work here. Plus, his money is her money since they're married. That is part of the support in the marriage.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
I heard that it is hard to find jobs in United States or many other industrialized countries too. And there are many restriction to those who come from other countries especially developing countries to work in those countries. It hope it is not true.
@Bshivakumarchary (122)
• India
5 Jul 08
After the college we must think of job rather than marriage.First earn enough money than you marry so that you can take care of your partner without financial problems.A happy marriage relation will take place only after you have the strength to live on your own.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
Exactly. Nowadays, life is hard for most people. So, a sustainable relationship depends on independent finance.
@carrotcake14 (361)
• Philippines
5 Jul 08
I don't think it's inappropriate to get married after college. I think marriage is a sacred one and we all have to be prepared emotionally, physically, mentally and of course financially. It's not right to search for a rich man to marry , it will just prove that you don't have a self esteem since you've become so dependent with that idea.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
I agree with you that when one is prepared he\she can get married. Thank you for you opinion.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
Why don't you help your man grow in career? Actually, men need women's help especially when he is in difficulty. And after marriage, women can continue work. So, as long as both of you work and never give up and help each other out of difficulty, you can have a better life sooner or later. Believe yourself and your man, OK?
@moonbake21 (11)
• Philippines
5 Jul 08
It depends on your partner. The best thing is if you really love your partner because even what age are you it is really ok for me if you got married. But it is also good if you will spend time together without having that responsibility. It is better if the both of you will have time to get to know each other.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
It is better to know the other better and then get married. After all, marriage means responsibilities and in my country divorce does much harm to women.
@sunname (101)
• China
5 Jul 08
I don't want to get married after college soon, I have to work and make myself get stronger to the society, now I am a fresh man ,I need to work hard and learn many new things, but if I get married now ,I must devide my heart to the family ,and bcs, I want to be a good wife ,if you are busy with your work everyday ,how can you be a good wife ?
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
Yep. You need to try a lot to grow stronger, mentally, finacially, etc. But when you meet a good guy right to be husband then marry him. You can be a good wife even if you are busy. Try and I am sure you will be a good wife.
@konghuafangf (19)
• China
5 Jul 08
I think that many girls choose to marry after college is not wise.It will boring to live with one person for so many years,so do not marry so early.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
You must be a young girl. I don't think living with one person for life is boring. In fact, if you think so, I am sure you will find that to live with several people one after another will be boring too. You know why? Because people are generally alike. They might be different in some certain ways but you will get bored soon with the some differences. The best way to enjoy the life with one guy is to change yourself and change the other guy little bit by little bit.
