My 4 year old girl

I have a 5 year old that's the same way so I totally understand the frustration. I don't have any answers either. His younger brother has more interest in potty training than he does. And it's not like we started late with him either. His training started when he was 2 1/2....BUT that's where part of the problem comes from and why I wanted to discourage you from following deebomb's advice (I mean no offence, I'm sure it works for some kids but my experience with it made training worse) It was my son's aunt that began training him at 2 1/2,. Her method was to spank him when he had an accident. I disapproved but no one in this family would or will listen to anything I say...I an just the mother, you know . Anyway, it didn't take long for my son to be scared to poop for fear of getting spanked...so he'd hold it til he couldn't hold it, which led to the dreaded spanking, or it would become compacted and hurt like crazy which scared him even more. So the end result is, I have a 5 year old that will not poop in the potty, will run and hide in fear when he needs to poop and will even poop directly on the floor of his hiding spot if I try leaving him naked. We have visited the ER for his constipation and everything.

First this child is old enough to know what she is doing. I think that I would be giving her a swat on the behind. I would put her in an area that she can't get out of such as a chair and that is where she would stay until she started going to the potty. Take every thing away from her. and not let her have it back. Not let her sit on any furniture or be in rooms that have carpet. When my grandson was 2 1/2 we were moving to a place that had a play ground. I had been working at getting him trained. he went to the play ground and messed his pants. When He got to the house I told him if he ever wet or messed his pants again he would not be going to the play ground. That was the last time he wet or messed his pant.