Raising kids with fibro...
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
United States
July 4, 2008 12:05pm CST
How do you do it? How do you keep up? I have four, ages 3, 5, 7 and 9. Well the 7 yr old turns 8 in a couple weeks. I've been suffering with chronic pain and fatigue for 8 years. I JUST found a doctor in March that is willing to work through this and help figure out what is going on. I have had most of my health issues since before I had children. But I was always very active and fit. Then three months after my first daughter was born I got into a really bad accident. SInce then I have dealt with crazy pain. I was diagnosed with arthritis about 3 years after the accident. And every doc I have had since then (at least 5 of them) only wanted to put me on narcotic pain killers and shew me out there doors. Some sent me to physical therapy, but since every time I was pregnant, there wasn't much they could do, nor did it help. I have had to completely re-evaluate the things that are important and necessary, and I parent completely different from what I ever imagined. From the outside looking in, I have npeople tell me they see something completely different from what I know to be true. They see this strong, independant, courageous, healthy, active mom homeschooling and raising her kids. Some have even gone as far as to call me a blessing or saint. I just laugh and say, "If you only knew".
If they only knew the days I spend lying on the couch allowing my kids to tear the house u. If they only knew the days I spend crying in the bathroom while my kids clean up after my messes. If they only knew the days I can't even get out of bed, and my older kids teach the little ones, and they all take turns giving mommy massages. If they only knew that my house is only neat and tidy when I know they are coming over. If they only knew...
3 responses
@ali136 (199)
• United States
14 Aug 08
I am in pain everyday. I have two kids, 4 and 20 months. 10 days after my daughter (the youngest) was born, my appendix ruptured. Since the surgery and recovery from that, I have been in constant pain. My pain had started when I was in middle school, but it wasn't constant. I was told it was growing pains and they would go away. Then I got migraines, restless legs, and arthritis. After my recovery from surgery, I took a management job that had me working on my feet 50-60 hours a week. After 10 months of that I was in so much pain and in a downward spiral of depression. My kids were left to fend for themselves as I vegged on the couch. I had to quit because I physically and emotionally couldn't do it anymore. We are having financial difficulties now because I lost out on over $40000 a year. Now I'm lucky if I make $10000. My husband doesn't understand and is constantly yelling at me for being 'lazy, irresponsible, and not doing enough'. I have NO energy and am getting agitated that the answer given me was pain medication and exercise.
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
• United States
15 Aug 08
wow, that sounds hard. I understand about having to quite your job. I am in that same boat with ya. And my fiance doesn't understand either. Altho he doesn't yell at me, but he thinks I'm a baby and its hard for him to get it. I guess its hard for anyone to get it, until/unless they deal with it themselves.
Thanks for sharing.
@puppabear (94)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I have just recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but I also have another condition called occipital neuralgia (which causes nerves to flare up in my neck and result in severe migraines). I take each day at a time. I also don't let this get me down alot of people don't realize how much pain I am in because I keep moving. I thank god for my husband and kids, they help out a great deal when I need them to and back off when they know that I need to do things myself. They are a blessing and I don't know what I would do without them.
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Your family sounds wonderful. My kids are still too young to be much help. Sure on REALLY bad days I can get them to pitch in a little more, but most days its more work to get them motivated than it is for me to just do the stuff myself.
@ShealM (388)
• Canada
4 Jul 08
I have 5 children - 7, 6, 4, 2 and 1 and I am a Fibro and scoliosis patient. I take it one day at a time, one moment at a time and it's my kids that keep me going. A lot of people don't seem to think I'm really in a whole lot of pain because I keep moving, I keep going and keep myself busy despite the pain of fibro. I refuse to let the fibro be my undoing. My children need me and it is my honor and duty to provide to them their needs, wants and desires to the best of my abilities and beyond them. It is because of them (my heart, spirit and very being that they are) and the fact that they deserve everything that I could possibly give them and every need fulfilled that I roll or crawl out of bed in pain to provide for them every day.
My disability does not make me disabled - it is an extension of who I am and what I am. I can only work with what I've been given to work with and the Fates never give us more than what we can handle in our lives, only that which makes us better, stronger and in the long run happier (even though it doesn't seem like it at times).
