I feel a little guilty but not really...

Hello foxyfire33, I had a friend in Yahoo!messenger like your friend the army boy.Everytime I chat with this particular friend, she will keep talking about herself repeatedly and at first it was enjoyable but when she does that over and over again I began to find it annoying. Every now and then she'd be like,'you know I am actually the type of person who don't like what people do to me...bla bla bla'. Every topic that we chatted will end up with her talking about her. It got very annoying that now I appear offline to her using the Stealth Settings. :D

I do not consider setting your messenger to invisible the same thing as ignoring someone. If you were set to available and did not respond to messages he sends, that might be considered ignoring him. You can also set someone individually on invisible but have the rest of your list see you. Those settings are there for a purpose. Also, you are allowed to tell him you have things to do and cannot talk very long. When the conversation starts, just give him a time limit and then stick with it. You could even start the conversation once in awhile just to let him know you know he is homesick. Just make sure you let him know your time is limited and that you cannot talk long. No one owns your time exclusively. I used to feel like I had to answer the telephone everytime it rang, or the door everytime someone knocked. I finally realized that I have a right to not answer if I don't want to. Especially if I am busy, or sick, or just don't feel like talking to anyone. It is the same with the internet. You don't have to feel guilty for owning your own time.

rotflmao Foxy, I think the better question here is why is he talking to you and not your son to begin with :))) LMAO. Hon if I turn on one of my messenger programs I stay invisible. If I did not all I would be able to do online is chat. I can not do 2 things at one time. I do not feel quilty about it. If I am chatting with someone I want to be able to devote my attention to that one person and not have to divide it up between several people. If I am mylotting I am mylotting and not chatting.... Its okay that you do not turn it on for everyone to see...... But I think a young man finds a certain someone FOXY! :))))

LOL--NO, NO, NO...You're not being a horrible person. I've long ago completely switched off my Yahoo Messenger...I got fed up with being "pinged" every time a new email was coming in, or someone trying to reach me via messenger..particularly if I was in the middle of scanning photos, or writing articles.. I happen to have a friend of mine in Calif who used to live around the block from me...yes, I do consider her a good friend but she just doesn't GET IT. Prior to my getting my own computer last year, I was more "accessible"...that is could yak on the phone more...and my friend is the type that a "short" phone conversation is three hours...no kidding...well back then yeah I could swing it. Not now. I mean I have to admit I've gotten more reclusive because of my computer...I'm either writing articles, into my novel, doing photo scans...a LOT of work. I have my phone message which part of it says "I Shall get back to you as soon as possible"---I have my machine on 24/7...sure enough my friend calls me...and I just can't answer....part of HER message is.."Well call me back when you're not too busy." Problem is, I'm almost ALWAYS busy now. I kind of feel sorry for her cause quite frankly she doesn't have much to do with her time...she spends most of her time watching TV, yakking on the phone or reading but she does have other friends to call, which is the main thing she does with her life...yak on the phone and that woman sure does know how to talk!....she doesn't even have her own computer so I can't even send a quick email to her...I did write a letter telling her how busy I am and often am under deadlines also, that if anything dire had happened to me, I'd be calling her...she still doesn't GET IT. She even called me last night..and yes I was busy again....I did call her today, to tell her I'm still alive and well..LOL. But yeesh! So nope you're not a horrible person....I think everyone of us have people that just doesn't get it and are kind of nudges...LOL

No you are not a horribleperson for getting away from your stepsons friend, hes a kid and you are an adult, you were really sweet to take your time with him but there is a limit. we do not have much in common with kids his age unless they are our own kids or grand kids. I do not exactly ignore anyone I just do not always get around to answering my answering machine right on the dot. My best friend called and I was deep into something so I just called her back a little later.she understood and that was all that counted.

I don't think you are a horrible person. I think the kid is just homesick and wants to talk to someone familiar maybe if you talk to him but at the beginning of the conservation tell him I only have 15(or whatever)mins. to talk then when the time is up just tell him you have to go that you will talk to him tomorrow.

I guess you just do what is right foxyfire, it will not also be fair in your side to please him and neglect the things that you need to do..I have tried that with my close friend..She was so bored for jobless like 6 months and everytime I will open my YM, she is there and won't stop talking...Of course that time, I have a job and trying to utilize my time plus the household chores, so, I made another account..LOL! I will just send her one or two messages on chikka but will not open my YM where she was there since even if I will say I need to eat, she will not stop talking..

Why is it when you have someone like this who is bending your ear on and on and on. And you tell yourself, be patient, listen, they really need to talk. So you use up time you really do need and listen. So after the conversation is over, do I feel like I've done a good thing - no I feel used up. Do I feel like I've done a good deed, no usually I feel bummed out. I think this is telling me I'm not helping them or me by listening way above and beyond the point when I can do so calmly without feeling panicky wanting to get away. ??

Jo foxyfire33, If I dont want to talk with someone I just put in my status that I am Busy, and if we already start talking I will tell them that I have something to do, i will surely know that they understand me, its just really nice to be honest. and I think you dont want them to do that to you, right? have a nice day and keep smilling ^_^

It happens. I kept my yahoo messenger on invisible almost everyday. Don't feel guilty. Anyway, I think u are kind since you just worry about others' feeling. In fact, so far as I am concerned. He will be OK!

I've had something like that happen to me too. My 16 year old son has a friend on MySpace. She was home from school sick and requested me as a friend from my son's site. I accepted and then she sent me a message that just said "Hey". I replied back (big mistake) asking her why she wasn't in school. Well that started it. She messaged me about 10 times before I realized that this could go on all day so, I just said "I have to go to town" and then I logged out so I could get some work done. I felt guilty for a little while, but I got over it. LOL

I have had periods in my life where someone has called me over and over and constantly it is very annoying so I understand how you feel. This boy sounds really lonely, and possibly scared, now his service is about to begin.

I don't ignore persons because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. If I am tired of talking with the same person then I will let him/her know that my brain is going blank for taking with one person so long. I am an outspoken person. Instead of ignoring him what you should in turn do is to encourage him to try and meet new friends either on line or at the army base. Sometimes person see someone and takes that person as a mother figure but instead of acknowledging and respecting the person views it is in turn view as annoyance. Why don't you suggest some of the social sites that you know he will be comfortable with.

LOL I'm always invisible on yahoo for just this reason. I have a couple of friends on there who I do like, but who think whenever I'm on I must dedicate myself to talking to them only. Sometimes I will just minus the screen and then go back later and say oh sorry, got called away and forgot to respond, or say I had a phone call and was away.

before logging in into my yahoo messenger, i make it sure that i log in as invincible lol. the reason for that is i don't wanna be disturbed by some people especially if i have something to do. if i wanted to talk on that certain person, i give them a buzz and just leave them a message. aside form that, my partner's also get a bit of jealous when he sees me talking to some of my friends especially if he's not that close to them