Why Is It That Love Can Hurt?

I've been thinking about it and you made a point when you wrote that you give the person you truly love the power to hurt you.I think when we truly love someone, filial, brother/sister, member of the family, friend, lover, husband or wife or just anyone, we pull down the walls, open our hearts and soul and very being to him/her and in the process make ourselves vulnerable. That's why we get hurt. We don't really get hurt when we don't really care and love for someone because we don't allow ourselves to be as open and as vulnerable to them. Our walls and defenses are still up.

Very well said. I guess no pain no gain.

Hi academic2. I think what you are describing is not really true love otherwise the glow would not have faded that easily. But still you fell in love so when things went bad you hurt. Again becaue of the love you felt you hurt. It's because maybe when we open ourselves to others we become more vulnerable, our defenses are lowered and so we get hurt more easily.

I agree that love is a wonderful feeling, a many splendored thing that is why it seems so illogical why love can also cause you so much pain and hurt. And usually it happens after you have fallen in love and not before you fall in love or because you are fighting for love. That is why i cannot understand why hurt should be the price of love when we fall in love and can possibly get hurt only afterwards.I would rather believe that love can hurt because it opens up your emotions, brings down ypour defenses and makes you very vulnerable to being hurt. But despite all of these possibly happening, I am glad that people including myself, still fall in love because as you say, it is a wonderful feeling.

I don't know but maybe that's why you're easily hurt by the differences between you and your partner because you truly love your partner? If you did't feel truly in love with your partner, do you think the differences would hurt as much as they do? So, again, it's love that is the root cause of the hurt. You hurt because you feel and it is because of the love you feel that makes you bear the differences and the hurt. that's the wonder of love.

I guess you are right in saying that its the break up that hurts but why would it hurt. Isn't it because you love the person with whom you are breaking up with? If you didn't love him/her, it wouldn't really hurt. So it all goes back to love.

Yes, come to think of it,it's the breaking up that hurts but if you did not love, would it hurt so much? So wouldn't you say that it is the love you feel which makes it hurt so love hurts?But i agree, both parties in a relationship must have to work hard to make the relationship work.

I always have followed the philosophy that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

Me too and i have put that into practice.

I do agree that the pain is worth the pleasure in the sense that falling in love or having experienced love and the happiness and joy it gives makes the pain of separation more bearable. Maybe that's why it hurts so much because when you love someone, that someone becomes a part of you and it wopuld hurt losing a part of yourself. I understand how it feels losing our parents or other loved one. It can hurt even after the passage of years. I know that's what makes us human, the ability to feel emotions and pain.

Several have similarly responded that it is not love that hurts butnthe losing someone part that does. It's true losing someone can hurt but only if you love that someone so basically while you are right it is still because of love that it hurts. Thanks for participating