How would you handle this?
By puppabear
@puppabear (94)
United States
July 6, 2008 8:31am CST
Recently, I was sitting at my son's baseball game and another player from another team was joining his friends in our stands. As the game went on, this other player started bragging and laughing about being ejected out of a previous game for calling the umpire "gay". Now keep in mind, this child is 10 years old, and his mother was up working at the concession stand. So I was very apalled by this, and turned to the child and told him, "That is very disrespectful and you should not be bragging and laughing about it." The next day the mother actually approached me and told me I was wrong for yelling at her kid. I was shocked because I actually didn't yell I merely pointed out a fact to this child and it got him to stop. So, what my question would be is what in fact should I say to this mother to ease her anger about this subject?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@puppabear (94)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Thank you to all who have responded. It was really nice to hear both sides of this discussion. Since I wrote this discussion, I have apologized and spoken with the mother and have gotten no response. I intend to just move on and forget the whole matter. But thanks again for everything.
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I actually believe you should not have intervened but that's just my opinion. It was not your son and I will admit that what he was doing was wrong but you are not the parent and it is not your job to teach him right from wrong. If his mother wants to teach him to be hateful and bigotted, I don't believe it is right but all I can do is teach my kids what I believe is right when I have them. Now if I had been the mother, because of my beliefs about such things, I would have thanked you for pointing that out to him but politely asked you to please not try to be like a parent to my child, who you don't even know. That's just my opinion. The child does need to learn right from wrong but strangers are not the ones to teach him.
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
7 Jul 08
One more thing to add, if he had been directing such language and all directly at me or my fiance or children if I had them or something, then and only then would I have intervened because at that point I was already involved. But, if it didn't involve me to begin with, I wouldn't have gotten myself involved.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I don't think you're going to ease her anger.
Sounds like she's the type to just believe what her "innocent little baby" tells her and not believe other adults.
I might have just stated that I did not yet and tell her exactly what happened, but then I'd leave it at that.
Some folks just want to believe their child can do no wrong and don't want other adults having opinions about their little bratts.
Good luck.
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I have learned that children often don't know the difference between being talked to sternly and being yelled at. In his mind you yelled at him.
I don't know if it would make a difference if you explained it to the mother.
@puppabear (94)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I have already tried that and didn't seem to get anywhere. In her eyes she was right and I was wrong.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
7 Jul 08
I think it would be appropriate to stay calm with this woman, who is obviously only reacting on what her son has told her. Parents too often take their child's word before hearing both sides of the story - and hopefully once she's been made aware of what had actually happened, she would see her son's behaviour was disrespectful and unpleasant. If she can't see this, maybe her parenting is at fault, which would explain why the boy had spoken in this way in the first place. The mother should be taking a look at the way she and/or her partner are speaking in front of her children.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
6 Jul 08
i told her, guess you are so proud of your kid for talking like that, guess he learned from you..
yes i have a smart mouth.
i seen kids do some dumbest and rudest things. i tell them and thier parnets how ill manner they are.
