Clearly Autistic, what would you do?

It is difficult all parents are different. I for one was begging for someone to tell me that I was not making it up, I was thinking something was wrong but everybody told me everything is fine. I sent her to preschool and her aggression got worse, then finally I got her diagnosed. It took a lot of noise before a doctor finally listen to me. I wish I had another experienced parent tell me about autism, I had no idea autism was going to affect our family but at the same time, I see my child as this beautiful princess that makes me laugh so autism or not it does not matter. I think every parent wants that and some just in denial. I hope this parent find the strength soon to get her son the help he needs

I would suggest leaving them alone. My son displayed classic symptoms of autism. He didn't speak until he was 4 and even then it was a long time until he spoke in full sentences. Hand flapping, rocking, and lack of affection were some of the classic symptoms my son displayed. When my son started school, they didn't notice a problem. I expressed concerns. The teachers took his lack of communication skills as him not wanting to talk to them. It wasn't until second grade that even a single teacher saw a problem. This was when he had to read a book and answer questions about what he'd read. Up until this point they were only concerned with the children actually being able to read. My son had no problem with this, as he remembers a word after only seeing it once. He has scored perfect on ever spelling test he has taken for the same reason. My son is now 9 years old. He has never been diagnosed as autistic. Though, I have no doubt that he would have been had he been evaluated. I was unaware of the resources available to him before he started school. After he started school the teachers and even the principal said they saw no need for him to be evaluated. I believe this is largely due to the fact that the schools are overwhelmed. So, to them a well behaved child is a child that does not need attention. So, we took the time at home to read with him and work on his comprehension skills. It took a little longer to do his homework but it did get done. Although it still upsets me that they would not evaluate him, I am glad they didn't at this point. Being around the other children in a normal class environment was good for him. With time, the social skills he was lacking have developed. It has taken a while but he now has playful relationships with his brothers and is interacting with the other children better than he did in the past. He is still considered shy and often prefers to be alone, he has come a lot farther than I had thought he might. He has a better understanding of what he reads. For the most part, he does well in school and with his peers. No one can say for sure what is right for any child. Autistic children are no different. They react to different things in different ways. The parents know the child better than anyone. They will know what special attention he needs. Whatever road is taken, it should be up to his parents.

hi there firstly i have a 2 year old with suspected autism / aspergers and I do know that it can be difficult to admit to yourself there is something wrong with your child, it has taken me a long time to admit to both myself and the health visitor and gp that i think there is something wrong with my son, it hurts to realise that your child may not lead a 'normal' life. your friends may be very scared and they probably do know that their child has somthing wrong but dont want to admit it to themselvs. the only thing you can do in that situation is be there for them and support both them and the child, until either they come to accept the situation or be told by a medical person that their child has problems. i understand you are only trying to help, but you may well push your friends away if you try and force the situation and as long as the child is in no immediate danger then i dont think there is any harm being done.

Would it be possible to mail them information about autism; signs and treatment options, with a note suggesting that they might want to have their son evaluated and offering to help them with anything they need or any questions they have? I think it's horrible that schools aren't permitted to talk to parents when they encounter a child who may have a problem requiring evaluation and treatment.

As someone who is a diagnosed autistic, I can't thank you enough for treating your children as human, rather than broken individuals needing to be fixed. Sadly, I don't think that you'd achieve anything by bringing up the subject, yourself. I know my mother was accused of 'causing' another person's child to be autistic -- meaning, she suggested that the kid acted a lot like me and that's why we got on so well, the parents freaked, and when the kid was diagnosed a few years later, we weren't allowed to see each other. I'd say leave it and volunteer information when/if they come to terms that their child is different. Good luck, and thank you for being so understanding and respectful of neurological differences.