I tell you,I am having terrible stress
By jasmine0728
@jasmine0728 (677)
United States
July 6, 2008 6:11pm CST
My story is very long but I will try to get to the point I am at right now please feel free to ask questions if I haven't made something clear.
I truly need help,I am an alcoholic,I quit for 17 years while I was raising my daughter.Although she dealt with other family members drinking from time to time she hadn't dealt with it from her mother.! year ago she took a trip with friends,I didn't have any problem with her going,or at least I didn't think so until she left.I was with the wrong sister at the time and I drank with her that night.Since then I can't seem to stop,I go to AA meetings,however I am not feeling that they are helping.I have gotten into trouble with alcohol where I do stupid things,and the couple times my daughter found out she was terribly upset.I don't understand why I can't just quit again,I did it when I became pregnant with her and never looked backed until this past year.Now although I try very hard to stay away from it a couple weeks will go by and I will be itching,I will wait until she has made a decision to spend the night at a friends which she often does.Bamm then I am drinking that night,I always feel like a fool the next day,I know the potential for trouble I have as soon as I take that 1st drink.So why in the heck can't I stop?
I do see a counselor,and go to AA faithfully,I don't understand why it isn't helping.
Jas
2 people like this
5 responses
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Jul 08
Jasmine you are trying and you go to AA and all, so maybe you need to see your doctor and have him recommend a clinic for
alcholism that you can go to and be dried out and helped
to finally once and for all break the cycle.You insurance
should cover it and you owe it to yourself.
2 people like this
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I would go to a clinic,however I do go weeks or months without it before I fall on my face,I always get up the next morning and stay away from it again for a week or two or a month.I just don't know why I fall when I do.
Jas
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
7 Jul 08
Oh dear that is so sad, I guess you are doing almost all you can do to try and beat this addiction so maybe it will take a bit of time I am not sure but i do watch Dr Phil a lot and he has said on his show at times that to beat an addiction you have to replace it another one so maybe if you get addicted to something else like chocolate or something, I wish you all the luck in the world...
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Thank you for your response,I wish I liked chocolate.I think I am going to try what you said though I used to like doing oil paint by numbers maybe that will help keep me on the right track.I do well sometimes even for a month,then I just don't know what hits me.I even have stayed away from the family members that drink,and my friends don't drink.When I do fall I do it at home by myself ,go figure.
Jas
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
7 Jul 08
I wish you well, just remember it is you who must love yourself and care for yourself the best...treat your body like a treasured gift...
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I was going to say congratulations on quitting until I continued to read the story.
I believe it was easy for you to quit the first time because you had your daughter's health to think about. Getting pregnant often causes people to change bad behaviors such as smoking and drinking, and it's easy to do when you have someone else's life at stake.
Oddly enough we don't really see our own health as a good enough reason not to do these things. And your daughter is older now, so relies on you less, so you subconciously feel it is okay for you to drink.
What you need to do is make a list of the reasons you need to stay quit, and look at it frequently. Then prepare yourself for your weak moments. When your daughter goes away for a night, get a friend or family member to stay with you... one who will not allow you to drink, or ask your sponsor from AA to be with you.
I hope this advice helps you. Good Luck.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Jul 08
im so sorry dear. it seems like the meetings and sponsor would help. it might be boredom? or the (almost) empty nest syndrome? you obviously need some new interest in your life. something your not facing.
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I think you hit it right on th head.The empty nest thing,it is driving me crazy that she is gone all the time now with friends.I miss our time together,I spent 17 years devoted only to her.I through her father out when she was four because he hurt her,and I have kept it just her and I since.
Thanks I will put more thought into that and maybe my counselor can help me get past this so I can move on and find other things to do.
Jas
@EEBEAN (28)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I applaud you for quitting on your own and staying sober for 17 years. It sounds like your daughter had a lot to do with keeping you sober while she was growing up and now that she's grown you need help from another source. You need to get to the reason you drink. Until you know that, it will be really hard for you to walk away again. You mention you see a counselor and attend AA. Have you been to intensive inpatient treatment? If not, you need to go. Talk to your counselor immediately about it. In the meantime remember that you are the one bringing that bottle to your lips... put it down and and call your sponsor. If you are truly attending AA faithfully you know to do that, right?
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Yeah that seems to be one of the problems,I don't call the sponsor,I don't call anyone.When I decide to do it something changes I stop trying to talk myself out of it and give in,too easily.I have gotten a lot of good advice from this site and I have a renewed determination,I am going to succeed this time.I think my problem has been my daughter growing up now and not needing me.I have to find something to replace that.
Thanks
Jas
