Abusive parents...

I have seen it go both ways. I know that children are hard to deal with(I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old), but I think that maybe it is seen a lot in mothers who are single and have no money. I am 23(still young),and I don't really have much money, and sometimes when you add that to two children screaming at your ankles you just want to scream yourself. But when that happens to me I just lock myself in the bathroom(lol), but it works. I think that when a parent gets angry with a child to a point that they feel like they are losing control they should try to figure out a way to take space(this is hard to do MOST of the time).

i think younger parents are more prone to abusing their children than older parents. teenagers are just kids themselves, if you think about it. i dont want to say that teenagers are not ready for children, because i have know about some teenagers who are doing just fine being a teen parent but when someone has a child, they are not used to having a crying, screaming baby around 24/7, who needs your attention at all times. teenagers who either make the choice or mistake to have a baby at a young age still consider themselves teenagers, meaning they can do anything when they want, that they have no priorities, that they can go out partying out until 3am but those days are over when a child comes into the picture. i think that some teenage parents may resent their children from keeping them from doing the things they are entitled to as a teenager. then when their child is crying, fussing and being annoying about something so pointless they dont understand or care, as a teenager why the child is crying they resort to abuse or yelling when they want the child to stop crying. children are a handful, which is what some teenagers dont understand. instead, they rush into having s-e-x but dont understand the consequences. in some cases, this might not be the case. some teenagers also were abused at kids and maybe even as teenagers and only know what they have seen or been through in their lives. personally, i think that parents to be should be more educated before having their children. this will make for happier parents and happier children.

I think that some younger parents tend to discipline more hard then older parents because they just dont know any better. They also might have grown up with parents that might have had discipline problems also. I think that new parents should go through parenting classes. I think it will help out alot.

I think teenagers having children aren't all the problem. I think lots of it stems from how they were brought up in their own household. If they were mistreated, then they are more prone to mistreat their babies. A child is a big burden for a teenager who isn't grown up. But all teenagers do not act like that. My daughter had her first child at 18 and she never abused him. She is the most loving Mother a child would want. She had another one in 15 months and took care of them just as I took care of her, very lovingly. She has raised 4 and loved every minute of it. Teenagers need to be brought up in a loving home where people show lots of affection. They have to be nurtured in a way that gives them the ability to respond correctly to any situation. They should know a baby will cry for certain reasons, and a slap isn't going to stop that baby from crying or fussing. In fact,it will usually make them worse. A baby doesn't have the ability to understand that slap. I have seen scenes just like you describe. It makes me want to take the child and just hug it.

I believe that any parent without good parenting skills/knowledge is prone to be abusive in some manner -- be it physically or emotionally. Age certainly plays a part, but more of a contributing factor is the way the young parent was raised -- we tend to continue what we know, good or bad.

i think so , because 1 they are so young and they really dont know how to deal with a child and 2 some think it is cool to be able to curse at your child in public and they may think that people will respect them as parents because they dont play with their kids but they are not being respected at all. also sometimes with younger parents their tolerance is only so long, so if a child does something and they are probably already frustrated about something totally different their first reaction is to hit the child no matter where it is. Some parents grow take having a child as a learning experience for their second child and some think it is a game.

IT may be because now a days youngsters do not have patience and they get angry very soon. Now a days children are also more mischievous and make parents get angry quite often. But abusing children do not solve the problem.. If you abuse your child then you may lose control over the children.. And your child may think you as his/her enemy...

Unfortunately, what you say is true. Younger parents are not prepared to be parents when they, themselves are still children. Lots of patients and knowledge are needed to adequately parent a child and younger parents are sadly unprepared in that respect. Also, young parents are often times the product of a violent and abusive relationship and they are just perpetuating the only behavior they know, which is violence and abuse. I work with children and I see how abuse impacts children as they grow from toddlers into older children. They are often angry and take their anger out on themselves or others. If these younger parents had a crystal ball to see how their abuse would impact their children as they grow, they would surely try to find a better way to parent their children.

My mom had me when she was 21. And I was not an abused kid. I think it can happen with some teen parents. Do they have a good support system? Are parenting classes available? These are just a few questions. Being a parent no matter what age can be a difficult undertaking. It depends on the maturity of the people. In any case it is a shame. As a teen I was not ready for parenthood.I was completely focused on me. Which is why I waited. After the fact, all I could hope for is some to step in and help before the abuses get out of hand.

I've seen some very good teenage mothers. The difference is probably in how they were raised. If you're very young and your mother treated you that way, maybe you would think it was the "proper" way to discipline a child. If you waited til you were older to have children, you'd have time to process experiences more and just maybe you wouldn't want to treat your children the way you were treated. A little maturity also gives you more patience. On the whole I'd say teen agers are still children themselves and probably don't have the maturity to be parents.

I wouldn't say that younger parents are more prone to abuse their children than older parents. I WOULD say that some people are ready to have children and can be good parents and some people simply aren't. Younger people are more likely than older people to fit into the category of people that aren't ready to have children and/or can't be good parents. A young parent myself, with lots of encounters with other young parents, I know that young parents aren't necessarily more abusive than older parents. Another thing to consider is that some older parents that are abusive might just be better at hiding it. Perhaps those young parents you saw hitting their children in public haven't realized that they are exhibiting abusive behavior towards their children and that they can and probably will get in trouble for it at some point down the line. I was 21 when I had my son. I kind of grind my teeth when you say "teenaged parents up the age of, let's say 21" as 20 and up is not teenaged. I just got so tired of people giving me the "poor, single, teenage mom" look every time I went out in public with my mom, even though I was definitely NOT single, nor a teenage mom. Having said that, I would encourage people not to make assumptions about the people they see in public. What you think is a single, teenage mom might not be. In my case, I had been married for 2 years when I had my son and I got tired of people looking at me in public after I had my son, giving me that "I assume you're a bad parent because you look so young" look. I guess I have a complex because of my young appearance. I can tell you from experience, though, it gets annoying. Anyway, back on the subject. I am kind of an anomale where child abuse comes in because I was abused by my father as a child. For some reason, the abuse had the opposite effect on me that it tends to have on most parents. Psychological theories mostly state that a child that is abused will grow up to abuse their children. In my case, I grew up NOT wanting to treat my children that way. I would never slap my child in the face because I know how much I hated being hit like that when I was a kid. I will spank him for very bad behavior, but that is far and away from the abuse that I experienced. It's a shame that you have witnessed these young parents abusing their kids in public, but just remember that older parents do it too. My dad was 23 when he had me and that didn't prevent him from being abusive. Age might have some sway as to whether or not a parent is likely to be abusive, but it isn't the be-all, end-all in the scenario. Older parents are just as capable of being abusive and might be smarter than their younger counterparts by not doing it in public.

well... considering i have a brother who was abused by his mom, i just hope she will be brought to justice and the child will be in a better home.

You may have experienced such cases but pl. do not generalise your conclusions.

'Abuse has NO age range'. I worked at Walmart and saw it all the time. Once I started over to a man that had struck his son and my manager said, 'Janet don't do it'. I am not one to stand by and watch something like what you saw happen and not interceed. I guess I would end up in jail but I don't believe in hitting of any kind. Can you tell I have been through abuse and so have my two older kids?? Thank you Trish.....Janet

I think that abusive parents come in all ages, and sometimes it just looks like its only the younger ones when really it can be anyone of any age, I think people are more likely to take their every day stress out on their children if they are not very careful. I also think that people as a whole are not as emotionally mature as those of a generation or so ago. And people seem to expect more that is reasonable out of their children, forgetting that their child has to have time to grow up, and not every child will be able to behave as well as every other child. Because that all children mature at different rates, and screaming is not good for anyone, and slapping through the face as you discribe shows that the parent is loosing control and is emotionally unstable and needs to step back and rethink how they are responding to a crying infant that does not even know how to talk yet. I mean some exceptional children may be talking at seven or eight months old but as a rule I kind of doubt it. And teenagers have no business having children unless they are first married and have been married for a good while, because teenagers are still kids themselves no matter how mature they believe themselves to be. That's my opinion anyway, I do believe that people are less understanding and more impatient than they used to be, and I believe that is a direct result of the me first society that we live in, and in the fact that everyone wants everything now, no one wants to wait, and a child can not grow up in an instant although when they are finally 18 it will seem like that is exactly what they have done. Childhood passes by very quickly it is sad that there are so many parents that take for granted the fleeting days of their childrens youth, Then one day wake up to see that their child is grown and gone with no time for them, it is very sad. Abusive parents I don't believe are the norm, I believe that most parents want the best for their children, but some parents don't know any better because of being in abusive home enviroments all their lives so what we can see as abuse they just think of as normal. And that is sad.

I do disipline my children but slapping a child across the face is abuse and should not be tolerated. I have poped my son,s hand before when he was like 3yrs old for pulling something of the shelf at walmart and some lady stood infront of my cart ,and told me how bad of a parent I was. I simply told her that I have told him several times to stop he did't so I poped him on the hand ,and if he does it againg I will pop him again . She told me my kids would grow up to be mur*ers. I told her to not tell me how to disipline my children ,and that it is the kids that lack disipline that brings g*ns to school , and to please let go of my cart. She started yelling at me ,and refused to let go. I told her if she wanted I could take her to the bathroom, and spank her butt if that would help her to stop throwing a tantrum. She let go of my cart,and stomped off. an elderly couple came up to me and told me that I was a good mom for trying to teach my child right from wrong.

I think that there are many factors behind an abusive parent. Lack of support, feeling like their options are limited, have been abused themselves, overwhelming stress and mental problems can all be reasons why a parent is abusive. I don't think that it has too much to do with age. A young person with limited resources, limited life experience and poor coping mechanisms can make a horrible parent. But, adults can also find themselves in the same situation.

Well I don't think so. Not on an average. I think that younger people who don't have much hope of a future to begin with might be more prone to become abusive, or younger people who's pregnancies were not planned. Also I think that their own childhood might play into this. If for example they had abusive or angry parents themselves. For instance, I myself am 24, my wife is 20. We were married when I was 22 and she was 18 and had our daughter when I was 23 and she was 19. I'm a middle class Caucasian grew up in a middle class family, both parents are teachers (still married today), with one other a sibling (an older sister by 3 years) and attended private school. So I'm as white and "normal" as they come. However I did drop out of school which was the start of my own downfall. I started smoking w33d, doing mushrooms, partying and hung out with the wrong people. I got myself out of it and into school, got trained in a career and ever since I was 20 I've been in a stable career grossing 45-50. My wife, grew up in a household with 4 other siblings, and not quite as fortunate of me to a "normal" childhood not to say she was in an abusive family no, just not the same as my upbringing. She however did finish high school, and found herself at the same trade school as me, got trained in a career and had been a professional since she graduated at 17. We both got married working stable jobs and not in school, then had a child while married and both with stable jobs. I ended up getting a higher paying job so that my wife could stay at home. ANNNYway, the point is, we're not abusive and had a planned pregnancy. Many young parents don't have planned pregnancies, and if they're not already in a stable mode in life. May be more likely candidates of abusive parents, and still, even if they had a stable job/career but were raised in an abusive family might even be more likely to be abusive. Parenting is something that comes naturally to anyone who is becoming a parent, it just depends on your own morals, and how you learned from your own parents. Meaning not all people with abusive childhoods become abusive, no, some of these people just learned from the wrong way to do it, in order to do it right, making them stronger people. Sorry for rambling and maybe I've given too much information, but I felt the need to give a slight history of ourselves to build a real life example. To answer your question, no, I don't think so, it really just depends on their own up bringing and their own morals and possibly their stability in life.

Well, I came from a tough family so I know I'm mean but I would never beat my kids. Especially in front of people. That's sad!

I would have to say that I do not really know the ratio of older and younger parents to children and the statistics of how much abuse goes on. I can say that these stories you posted are awful situations. It seems to me that when the parent is frustrated it winds up getting taken out two-fold on the child despite the severity of the child's behavior. Alot of times the discipline or abuse is unwarranted. It's really terrible what goes on today. Can you imagine what is also going on in the homes privately between these parents and children? I hate to imagine. I believe that children need love, acceptance and affection regularly.