Grandma Feels Left Out

Nope, I don't think this is normal. It's unfortunate that she is acting like this, especially since your granddaughter is already at 8 months, and because you live so close! I feel bad for the other grandparents too. I could understand behavior like this for the first 2 maybe 3 months. Even my parents discouraged me from passing our daughter around like a football (as my dad put it) for the first couple months. Give her some time to get her groundings with me and my wife. After that letting friends and family to hold her was not a big deal. We just asked that people made sure their hands were clean before handling her. She's now 18 months and is a very out going baby. She's also very fond of getting to know new people and isn't afraid to "talk" to them! I think that your son should really try to set her straight. It's not fair to you or her parents either that she's acting like this. My wife and I live about 5 minutes from her parents. We don't really go over as much as we should be we still make it a point to visit, and let her aunt, uncles and grandparents to get play with her. My parents unfortunately live a couple hours away so we only get to visit them once ever month or 2. But it's just more of a treat for her when she gets to visit my folks. Anyway I hope your son realizes this is not the best way (in my opinion) to raise their child. She needs to learn to know all of her family and friends so she knows who she can trust and love!

Just wondering why your daughter in law act this way. Is she just overprotective? or over reacting? She needs guidance from people who knows parenting than she does. She's not the only person who knows how to take care of the baby. Your son must build the bridge if there are gaps between you. If he doesn't make waves, she'll think what she's doing is right.

That's deffinatly strange behaivor from what I have seen. My wife is 24 and we have 2 children, the oldest is 5. We make it a point for them to see their grandparents even though we are a state apart. We still take the girls to their grandparents to spend a couple of nights at each grandparents houses. I'm really supprised that she is acting this way. How old is she? Seems like she may be overprotective. Does she let other people hold her? Does the child have a babysitter or daycare or does she constantly take care of the child? How does she react to strangers comming up to her and saying stuff like, "Oh what a beautiful baby!" and such? Most people want their children to know all of their family, it's just nature. I do know a few that have been ashamed of their family however and have acted this way. Could this be an issue? That is just too bad for the child, especially when you want to be a part of her life. I think it's great for you to be there, I hope you can all work through this. Maybe invite them over for dinner and have a serious conversation about it amongst you, the parrents, and other members of the family if possible.

No, that is not normal behavior for any generation of mothers. I always wanted my daughters to be close to their grandmothers just as I had been when I was growing up. But, obviously it's not just the grandmothers she doesn't want around her baby, but also friends. She is being too over-protective, and by doing this the child will learn not to feel comfortable around anyone but her. Your son should make some waves..... she is not acting in a normal way where their daughter is concerned. Maybe just as simple as him talking to her and asking her why she feels this way about anyone being around the baby for long. Maybe if it was out in the open, then he could start to deal with whatever the reason is for her acting this way, or at least know if it's something she needs professional help with.

Just my two cents now .. if she is a first time mother it may be a control thing for her. Just wait untill the second one comes along I am sure she will change her tune. Take what ever time you can with your grandaughter( or what ever time the mother allows) this wonderful little girl will know how much you lover her and when she gets older she will be calling for her grandmother all on her own. keep us posted on how things go , (a grandmother myself)

Absolutely NOT. This is not a new generation of mothers and it is not normal for this to be happening. Its seems that your daughter in law has issues and she needs help. I have a 9 months old daughter and both her grandparents are in her life. A child this age or an age for that matter needs to know who her family is and have a social life. Otherwise the child will grow up with issues with people. you shouldn't put your son between this but maybe have a talk with your daughter in law. You should ask her for the reason of her doing this and find a solution FAST, for the babies sake. If talking with her does not help then you should get your son involved. This is definitely good reason enough to make those WAVES because this is absurd

Wow that is so strange. It would make more sense if it was directed only at you for something that had happened between you and her. I personally would love it if I had a baby for other people to entertain it as much as possible.

Firstly I feel for you in this situation as I have seen this quite often and do find it rather sad that this happens. No I don't think it is the new generation as I have seen this over quite a few years even in my own family (in-laws) where one side is left out on the fathers' side. I find it very selfish on the mothers' behalf as the more love a child gets the better adjusted in life it would be (one would hope so anyway) Give her some time and do not let yourself be too upset as you would not be alone on this one. Good luck!

I have seen mothers doing this before, maybe they are just so protective of their baby, maybe its an animal instinct but the people I have seen do this got over it when the child got a bit bigger and the mother wanted to go back to work...

I really do not find anything wrong with being with your grand daughter. I think you and your daughter in law should talk about why is she doing this to you. I guess you have the privilege and right to see and hold your grand daughter.

I'm sorry your dai=ughter in law is being that way. But as you know you cant make someone do something they dont want to do. Unless they area child. Just keep asking maybe offer to babysit sometime. Ask to come over to bring the baby a small gift. Doesnt have to be much. Keep trying. It might pay off in the end.

well,i think having a mother in law helping me take care of kids is very good.older people have lots of experience in taking care of babies,and of course,most grandmas love being together with their grandkids.why ur daughter in law not allow u spend too much time with ur granddaughter?maybe she wants to raise her with her own way.

Sounds like your daughter-in-law is a possessive Mother. Your best chance is to try not to push! Look on from the sidelines and remember time is on your side. Make yourself available but stay back. The day will come when your inlaw needs help.When that day arrives you can be there for your Grandaughter.

I think that you should do something about it,I know that now a days things are just like that but you should make an agreement with your daughter in law that you can play with her in that specific timings and you will not disturb her, you know stuff like that.

I dont think so. I think that your daughter-in-law just wants to make sure that the baby learns that she is the mother and maybe if there are alot of people around she might get confused. I dont think that will happen at such a young age. though. At least your not the only one she is not letting see the baby

You must be very sad. I love when my parent or my parent in law close with my kids. My kids love them too. I always told my son (4ys) & daughter(2yrs) to love & respect the grand parent. Why did your daughter in law treat you like that. She should be glad that you love her daughter & she love hers.