Sacrifice one child for another????

United States
July 8, 2008 8:53am CST
I just remembered a story I'd read long ago when the Tsunami had struck. The story was of a mom who was washed away by the Tsunami, struggling to keep her 2 little boys afloat. The boys were ages 2 and 5. She felt she could not save them both... and she let go of the youngest, assuming the oldest had a better chance of survival. The younger was later found clinging to a part of the hotel, and all in all he was well. This story had broken my heart. I couldn't imagine being in that position, and I'm sure it was a difficult choice to make... but I don't think I could do it. I would probably kill us all by trying to save every one of my children. If I HAD to let go of someone, it would be the oldest... because the oldest had a better chance of saving itself. What would you have done?
1 person likes this
15 responses
• United States
8 Jul 08
Wow I don't think I could let go of any of my children. One never knows though until they are put into that position what they would really do. I could not imagine having to decide who to hang onto and who to let go. I have seen on TV that babies will naturally roll onto their backs and float when in water. I watched my youngest do it while we were all swimming at the lake. I think he was one when he fell in the water. He rolled over and floated until I could reach him. It was scary but he was fine. So maybe that is how the youngest survived until he could reach the hotel. It is a heartbreaking story with a happy ending.
• United States
8 Jul 08
I didn't know that, but I also don't want to put it to the test. Perhaps that mother knew it, and that's why she chose to let go of the younger one? I still wouldn't have done that though.
• United States
8 Jul 08
It is possible that the mother knew that. I learned it long before I found out it worked. I didn't really mean to test it out and luckily I was close enough to get to him fast. That poor mother was in a heck of a predicament though and it would be hard to say how we would really handle it.
• United States
8 Jul 08
It is, I can't imagine what was going through her head during those moments.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I have too many possible combinations of two to list off all the possible reactions I'd have if I was in that position with two of my children...if it was the two oldest we could pretty much all help each other. One big and one little....the big one could help me keep the little one safe. If I had just the two youngest, I think I could manage them both but if not I could tuck the baby under my shirt and hold the 3 year old. It would be the two middle ones that I'd struggle more with. They are almost 8 and 5. Both are built small but so am I so it would be hard to hold both. I'd either go down trying and we'd all drown or some kind of super strength would kick in and I'd be able to hold on despite the odds....actually that would work for any of the "middles" combinations.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I was just counting the six I gave birth to, not the two teenage step kids. Mine are 12, 10 (next Sunday), 8 (in a few weeks), 5, 3 and almost 20 months
• United States
9 Jul 08
How many kids do you have??
• United States
9 Jul 08
LMAO... do you get a lot of questions like "Are they ALL yours??" and "Are you nuts??" I myself have 5, no step kids. Ages 11, 5, 5, 2 and 6 months. That's hard enough, I can't imagine what you go through with 8!!
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
8 Jul 08
I remember that story. I can't even imagine being in that situation! I would not be able to let go of one of my children. I guess it would take someone being in that situation to see what your instincts tell you to do.
• United States
8 Jul 08
This is true. Nobody knows what they will truly do when faced with difficult situations. We just hope that in the end we make the right choices.
@gemini_rose (16264)
8 Jul 08
God forbid that I am ever in that situation but I would be the same as you, I would rather us all die together than to try and choose to save the life of just one. I guess if it was my two boys and I have to give you an answer I would say that I would let the older boy go as he is able to swim, wheras the younger one has not learnt to swim yet.
@gemini_rose (16264)
8 Jul 08
Sorry, I was talking about my two middle boys they are 7 and 6. The 7 year old has been learning to swim and so he is the one I am on about. If it was just me and my eldest I probably would be in serious trouble he towers me in height and width now, he would definately end up saving me.
• United States
8 Jul 08
I am trying to picture this. I know your oldest is around 16, so I'd assume he'd have a pretty good chance of surviving on his own. What I'm wondering though, let's say you only had him, none of the others. Obviously your insticts will still kick in and you'd try to help him... do you think that by trying to help him you'd end up hindering the both of you? Since you will both swim better without each other.
• United States
9 Jul 08
Oh, I see, well yes those ages would still need a bit of help. Even the one who is a swimmer.
@GreenMoo (11833)
8 Jul 08
I suspect I would do the same as you and release the elder one as he more likely to be able to fend for himself and can swim. There's a 7 year gap between my kids, but I have no idea what I'd do if it were smaller. This is horrible situation to face. Oddly, I was pondering something similar a little while ago. My partner is not the natual father of my eldest and I was wondering which of us should take care of each of the children if an emergency occurred. On the one hand, my partner is bigger and stronger than me and therefore more able to take care of the larger child. On the other hand, would he instincivly take better care of his own child? Let's just hope I never have to test my theories.
• United States
8 Jul 08
Ah, yes you added a twist I hadn't thought of. My eldest is also from a different father than my younger children.. however my husband has been in our lives since my son was about 2 or 3.. so he has a pretty strong bond with him, so I would think in that situation he'd treat him the same as his flesh and blood children. My problem of course is I have 5 of them, and it would be impossible for me to save them all by myself. But as I said, I'd kill us all before sacrificing any of them. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
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@GreenMoo (11833)
8 Jul 08
Sorry to make it even more of a dilemma LoL I think my hubby would treat the kids the same too, but it was just something extra to throw in the mix.
• United States
9 Jul 08
Well, as many people are pointing out here and in my other discussion about would you risk your life to help... Instincts kick in when you're in a situation like that. For you, your maternal insticts would allow you to do your best to help both of your children. Your husband however may not only because his survival instincts will kick in and he won't really be "thinking" just acting.
1 person likes this
@baileycows (3665)
• United States
8 Jul 08
I think that I would have let go of the eldest also, but I tell you it would be hard. But I wonder what that kid felt like afterwards to know his mother let go of him.
• United States
8 Jul 08
Yes I hadn't thought of that. 2 is pretty young so perhaps he doesn't have any memories of it. I'm glad he's okay, but he shouldn't have had to gone through what he did.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
9 Jul 08
i just can't think of it. how can a mother let go one child? she shopuld have tried to save both. it is so cruel from her part. i just think what this child will know later.
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
9 Jul 08
I have read replies on your discussion, and I think I would not let all of us go down. I would try to save both, but if not, then the younger one because he is too small to save himself, though the 5 year old is also small. I would feel guilty and find no peace in my heavenly abode knowing I could have saved one, but thought it fit to drown all three of us. I hope no mother has to undergo such a trauma.
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I'd never let go of my children or even consider which one had a better chance of surviving.
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
good day...it is a dilemma to choose any of my children (if ever and I pray to God not to give me that choice). I can't answer who to save or who to let go, I can only know of it when in the actual situation and I'm not looking forward to it either. Children's lives are sacred specially of our own, I can't be weigh by earthly standard nor by heavenly standard when it comes to it.
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I would say it would depend on age and how well they could swim and other such things. I would probably try to save everyone but if I couldn't, I would let the older go because they would generally be more mature and able to save themselves better. However, if they are more immature or unable to swim as well as the younger, then it'd be reverse. But it would be a difficult and heartwrenching decision. Glad her younger child was okay though.
@Nana530 (286)
• United States
9 Jul 08
Oh that is a really sad story. I really don't know what I would do in that situation. You know we may think we know what we would do but unless you are in a situation such as this, you just really don't know. Right now though, sitting safe at my computer I think I couldn't let go of either one. That we'd all just die. But it seems like she made the right decision, because she still has both her children. We just never know do we? I just pray that we never have a disaster like that anywhere, ever again. Very, very sad.
• China
9 Jul 08
it's a very hard decision to make,just like an old story that i heard. Women always throw the questions to their husbands that if your mother and i were in danger, who would you prefer to rescue first. How can we choose? we love them both. and i think if i were in that position,i really have no time to think about this question, just catch the the one that is around me,that's it.
@sherazat (16)
• Romania
9 Jul 08
i think i would let go the oldest too , but my heart would be broken for ever . i can't imgine what that woman must have felt in those moments . So sad that things like this are happening in this world
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
8 Jul 08
It's a very rational idea to try and save one of the kids, I'm not sure I could be that rational if I were in that position. Because of my love for the kids I would most likely not let go of any of them and might get washed away with them. This makes no sence because you are sacrificing yourself and both of them this way, but I'm not sure if one could ever choose. Perhaps when you are in this situation you can, but at the time being I would not know. Saving the oldest seems right because he has a bigger chance of surviving the cold weather and everything, on the other hand his chances are bigger to make it on its own too. This is just a disuccion so hard I feel like I can't give a good answer. I can only hope never to be put in this situation and I'm glad the kid was saved. How would he feel when his mom let go of him and they got reunited? Can he ever forgive her for not choosing him? That's a whole new discussion on it's own.