im lost...
By jamie08
@jamie08 (430)
United States
July 8, 2008 4:56pm CST
me and my boyfriend have been going out for a little over a year now. Even before we got together we argued. We still do it we get so mad at each other and then its all better. i dont know how to stop arguing with him. it seems like it is getting worse and worse and i dont want him to leave me because we have gone through so much together but we still stay with each other. any suggestions on how to make our relationship better? because i feel like im coming to a dead end
3 responses
@jamie08 (430)
• United States
9 Jul 08
i'm trying to stop yelling and fighting back but its hard for me because i have anger managment problems. I have had them since i was little. but i think i am getting better. When we start to argure we calmly say stop or when it really escalates one of us leaves before we say something we dont mean and we wait till we both calm down to talk to each other again.
@mannujeet (51)
• India
9 Jul 08
hmm...i know...i lose my kool sometimes.....but i have tried to change this habit of mine....but she always say that we should end our relationship....she says this in frustration....she always talk to me so rudely sometimes...blame me for everything.....
but she doesnt go....she always come back to me.....but i am scared because it is getting too much now.....rite now shes not talkin and again she said that everything is finished now....
she gets angry so fast....in frustration she talks like that.....how should i behave when she says this kinda things from next time....what should i do...??....how should i tackle this situation from next time....please advice me....i am really upset...:-(
how should i react when she doesnt show her care towards me.....i know she cares for me alot...but she is not showing.....but how should i react to this...??...
@mannujeet (51)
• India
9 Jul 08
what should i do to convince her...??...shes depressed from last month due to some family reasons.....she used to care about me so much.....she still cares for me..but doesnt showing it these days...she loves me like crazy......how should i react to all this....??...i dont know why all this happening.....what should i do...??...what should i do to make her feel good....?/...
@jamie08 (430)
• United States
9 Jul 08
love her unconditionally. be there for her no matter what. Be a shoulder for her to cry on, when she trys to argue dont say anything back. Maybe giver her some space untill she calms down. that is what me and my boyfriend have been trying to do , when we start to argue we eaither say stop or if it gets bad someone leaves untill we both calm down so nothing happens. But jsut be there for her and dont let things get to you that you know she really doesnt mean
@mannujeet (51)
• India
9 Jul 08
hmmm....you are right.....i am always there for her.....everything belongs to me is her....and everything belongs to her is mine...we know that....my shoulder is always there for her....she shared all her life with me.....so obviously when she will get upset she will yell at me.....that also because she needs me at that time....
and one more problem i am having is i reply back to her in frustration when we argue.....i should stop behaving like this.....one of us should stop behaving like this....if she cant do that....i should keep quite and talk to her politely no matter wateva she says to me...rite...??...
but i am really having a problem regarding this....i dont know how should i stop behaving like this....anyways...thanx for your comments...:-)
:-(
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
8 Jul 08
This pattern of arguing is probably pretty well set and it won't be an easy one to break but you and your boyfriend might be able to make some changes if you both are willing to work hard. The first thing you have to do is to identify what the main cause of the arguing is...is it something specific that either one or both of you do that is irritating or is it just a general disregard for each other's feelings. You could try making a real effort to treat your boyfriend nicely and see if he responds by doing the same but, in all honesty, relationships that start out hostile don't normally turn themselves around without professional help.
