I really think something is wrong with my daughter she is Sick!!!!

There is nothing you can do, as you said she is an adult, she made her bed and she should lie in it. Stop bailing her out, and I know this one is impossible (from one Mom to another) but don't worry about her, she is going to do what she is going to do and there is nothing you can do to change it. You are only making yourself miserable. Wish I could say something more helpful but I can't.

Hey Marcie, its good seeing you. Our kids are still our kids no matter how old they get. They also don't always use their brains neither. My son did that for years, driving around on a suspended license. If she gets caught, she will just get another ticket. Its just going to cost her more and more money to get her license. She will have to pay reinstatement fees, insurance and fines before she can get a license. If she gets caught anymore she will have more suspensions and that means more reinstatement fees. I would just let it go, she is the one that will have to pay. I do know how it is to worry about our kids, they think they know everything. The judge can suspend a license before you get one. She won't be able to apply for a license until after the suspension. You can come on here and vent all you want, your friends will listen to you.

You go right ahead and vent...it's not good to keep it in, and it makes one feel better to let it out. At 34 there's not much you can say to her without her probably interpreting it as interferring. She's not crazy, she just hasn't learned that there's consequences to her actions yet. If it was my daughter? The next time she got caught driving with no license, I wouldn't be in such a rush to get her out, I'd let her sit and stew awhile while it sunk in. I'd probably even go as far (the second time around) as to say I didn't have any extra money to help her out this time. I'd be there for her to listen to with a sympathetic ear, but that's about all. I think it's important to show that we still love them, but we can't always help bail them out from their own actions that put them in their own mess in the first place. Interesting that they can suspend a license of a person that doesn't even have one, never heard of such a thing. Maybe that means that she can't apply for one for a year? Please don't let it stress you out! Keep the faith and know that you're a good mother but you can't be responsible for your adult childs mistakes. I wish you a happy day despite all the trials you've been going through lately. Big hug to you sis, your friends are always here for you.

you have to sit back and realize that she is an adult and will make mistakes along the way. all you can do is hope and pray that she does all right and hope that you raised her correctly. i hope things work out for you!

Marcia, Well I do not really think there is much that you can do for her at this point and time.I hope she will wake up and smell the roses. But I have known of so many that have driven without licencens akll of there life, thinking they would not get caught.Not too much else you can do once they are grown really but pray for them.

Hi marciascott! I can understand your frustration, with the situation with your daughter. As parents we try our best to protect our children, and sometimes the hardest person to protect them from are themselves. It seems as if you've done all you possibly can, she is an adult and must be responsible for her actions. Maybe it's time for some tough love on your part, maybe if she's faced with solving her own problems, she wont be so quick to make the wrong decisions. We have a saying on my island of.. wearing our children loose, that means: to be there for them , but allowing them to make their mistakes and dealing with them.

I went through years and years of always helping my child out and i realized how wrong I was. As a result she never took any consequences for her actions. She never respected me for all the help but thought I was an easy touch. I should have let her hit bottom then perhaps we would not be estranged.

If she feels that she can depend on you to bail her out, she will continue to take silly risks. You can choose to be consistant with her. If you say that you are not going to bail her out, it helps to stick to that. This way, she learns.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties your daughter is facing with the choices she is making in her life. As a mother I know that you will never stop trying to help your child and never stop worrying about him/her. I have 4 children who are all under 18 years old. The oldest is 17 and I worry everyday about the day he turns 18 and is responsible for his own actions. The only thing that we can do as parents is give advice and suggestions and hope that our children follow them. But unfortunately once they are adults they are responsible for themselves and we no longer can "make them" do what we want or know what's best for them. Don't try to stress out about it - it will only make you sick and then you will have another worry/problem to deal with. Try to offer advice but that is all you really can do. We all learn from our mistakes and your daughter will eventually come around and grow up. That is what you have to hope for. I hope everything starts to turn around for her and you get some peace of mind soon. Take care and hang in there. The job of being a mother never ends once it begins.

I don't think that there is anything you can do, except for hoping something bad will happen, because it will take something bad to happen to snap her into the real world and sort everything out. By the way you are talking the license is not the only problem.

good day.. yes you're right there is really nothing you can do. As you've said she made her own bed and now she has to lay on it. You've done what you can do, if that's not enough then nothings going to be enough for her.

Sometimes you really need to let go.I also experience the same pressure before she doesn't listen to me.I just let her be a bit for her to learn from her mistakes.If we always do the things for them they will never learn.Parents always shield their children from harm but there comes a time when they need to spread their wings.They may encounter people who will teach them bad or good and it's not mostly up to us to tell them what to do they have to figure it out for themselves at times.Let her be for a while if she ask for a help you need to be firm with your decision ,if you think that your decision will help her be firm.Just be observant from a far don't let her know that you're still keep tracking her doings.

As a Chinese saying goes"if she donesn't learn while young,what will she be when old?" She will grow up one day. Good luck

This is the point where you hug your daughter, tell her you love her and that you'll always be there to emotionally support her and maybe fix her a meal but the bailing out and stressing out stops today. ~~

You are just going to have to let her take care of herself. You can not let all these things bother you and get you all upset. You do not need the stress in your life.

As others have said, I really don't think there is anything you can do with her, she is 34 and even has kids of her own. I think I would be more concerned about them. But something that concerns me, with reading through your discussion and comments about this. It really seems like she has some mental health issues, and needs professional help for them. You say she is "crazy", well, maybe indeed she is, although as a former student of psychology I would disagree with the use of the word crazy. I think she does have some problems she needs help with. And you are right, you can't help her, not unless she wants to help herself, but have you ever talked to her about getting therapy or even medication? Because people simply don't act this way unless they have some kind of chemical imbalance or an illness. If she would be willing to get help, it is also important that if you saw her sincerely making steps to change to support her and notice those steps and praise her better behavior. I am not a parent, but I am a grown child who has dealt with my own mental health issues, as well as those of my parents. So I just worry that you are judging her too harshly, especially if she has mental problems. Maybe she really doesn't know what she is doing. I just wanted to add my thoughts, because I know what it's like to have issues that nobody, including my parents understand, and while mine don't extend to legal problems like your daughters, I think it's good to examine all possibilities before writing it off as her being irresponsible and disrespectful. Of course I can only make that conclusion based on what you wrote, so I definitely know that there could be more to the story.

Oh Marcia, wouldn't it be great if they would stay babies? Some day she will grow up and realize what she is doing, then you will be able to relax and enjoy her again. They can be so hard headed at times. I used to bail my brother out of evey mess he got into. Then I finally said, I am not helping him, I am making it easy for him to get into more trouble. So he served 6 months, and has not been back in jail since, that has been about 27 years ago. Hope this helps, and my prayers for you. Blessings Marilyn

marciascott at 34 if she is not an adult I dont know what you can do. by any chance is she bipolar, goes into frenzy one day and next day shes so up its scary? if so she co uld be help;ed with medication. Yes I think its time she stood on her own two feet and dealt with reality. she cannot go around driving without a license, and you cannot keep bailing her out either. has she seen a mental health person, could be she has problems that need addressing, see her doctor and have her get a checkup.

Oh, for a growning woman happened this.... Maybe should to find what make her like this at first. Does she just be hurt by somebody or some one? If she don't do those things before, there must got a thing or a person to change her like this. So find the reason and try to solve it.

It could be that something really big is bothering her, but thats still no reason to act that way. Just stop bailing her out and mabey shel come to her sensss, if not, its not your fault. Shes a grown woman, you shouldnt have to worry about her, infact she should be the one helping you!