SOS--Someone helps me!
By baddying
@baddying (88)
China
July 10, 2008 8:49pm CST
I have had a problem for my entire life--I'm always nervous whenever I have to do something in front of many people, and then I cannot do the things so well as I do without being watched. I don't know what's wrong with me. Actually I know it clearly that it doesn't matter if there are people watching, but I couldn't help. Once people focus on me, my body naturally feels uncomfortable and my brain becomes blank. I have got this stage fright for many years and I know, if I can't find a way out, it will influence my whole life. So please help me out.
4 responses
@mjmlagat (3170)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
It's never too late to build your confidence..all you need to do is to believe in yourself that you are absolutely okay and well-equipped for the task assigned to you.
It's but normal to feel butterflies in the stomach for the first, second or even for the third time but as you move along doing things in front of an audience, I am sure you can conquer your stage-fright.
Someday soon I hope you will have the courage to overcome you fear...expose yourself to public speaking all the time for you to tame your fear, so to speak.
Happy posting!
Someday soon I hope you will have the courage to overcome you fear...expose yourself to public speaking all the time for you to tame your fear, so to speak.
Happy posting!@baddying (88)
• China
11 Jul 08
Thank you. Actually I practise a lot and feel better now. But the problem is that I still feel nervous. It looks like my nervous level is high above the normal one. Because of this, my performance in public is always worse than anyone else, but in fact my real strength is better.
Anyway, thank you very much.
@baddying (88)
• China
19 Jul 08
But how? It is always very hard when you have to do it. However, maybe that's what we have to struggle for. After all, we live our own life in the world, and there are many things that only we are experiencing and fighting for by ourselves can we really improve and get over them.
@commanderxo (1494)
• Canada
11 Jul 08
baddying...
This is common among many, so don't feel that you're alone on this one.
I'm going to let you in a big secret that most people fail to recognize. ALL behaviors are...LEARNED! Somewhere along the line, you LEARNED to produce this "conditioned" response...to feel nervous...at a very early age. I would suspect that you were teased when you were younger, or perhaps, that your parents or other siblings often put you down. You may have been overly embarassed at some point? No matter. In an effort to regain "control",
you set for yourself a "conditional" defence based on your FEAR of being judged. You in a sense, turned your ACCEPETED social self off, internally.
Predictable behavioral information is based on 3 things.
(1) Reason (2) Symbol (3) Emotion
Or...Action...Re-Action...Re-re-action.
Your "survival" instinct whenever faced with this predicament, is to become...nervious. It is your self-doubt "trigger device" that tells you to basically withdraw from the situation, in order to SECURE your survival. Once your survival is secure, you feel better. This is what you're telling yourself.
It's called: Conditional Response.
Tell yourself this my friend...
"I AM the result of me." "I have NO masters, but myself."
And remember...everything you do, you've never done before. Life is a growth experience, always moving forward. We would not all be here, if it weren't for "man's" mistakes. CHANGE is inevitable!
Now...take a look at yourself in the mirror.
Does watching YOURSELF make you nervous?
Of course not! If on the other hand, there IS something about yourself that you don't like...then change it.
YOU be the judge!
One last thing. A "real" problem can only exist, if one has the "desire" to solve it.
Warmest wishes;
commanderxo
@baddying (88)
• China
11 Jul 08
Thank you so much. I appreciate your advice. I have to say you are so right. When I was young, I had a lot of hobbies, and I took many courses about those I like. Nevertheless I had become afraid of them since my mom always scolded me whenever I made mistakes on what I was learning. There even was a time when I felt nervous once my mom was around me. Actually I have figured it out that what I was "suffered" in childhood is the main reason, and I consciously want to change. So thank you very much.
@suite018 (25)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
We have the same problem when i was in highschool, better to share one of my proffesors advice in personality development, infront many people just look straight through their eyes one by one from left to right, having a contact to the audience can give you a bit strenght, then start whatever you need to do, maybe your report or a speech. well beter to try this, its effective.
