is it good to be strict with children??

Being strict with a child is a part of loving it. Strict is not done to be horrible to to show sense of right and wrong and to ensure a child stays safe and out of trouble, yet grows up to appreciate everything in life. But in saying that, strict is not always the way to go, my parents were strict with me and I went against them and just went my own way, the wrong way but my way all the same. With mine I try to maintain a happy medium, I am strict and do not tolerate bad behaviour or manners from them but at the same time I compromise with them on things so that they get a say in things that I disagree with. You are right they are the future generation but the future generation need to change the generations that are already in the world because some of them are not very nice.

Hi antony, I completely agree with you, children need love, and not harsh words. You would think that as a species we would have learned that by now. Many people still keep to the old ways, despite what they see happening in the world. You are wise my friend. Blessings.

You know, it's a balance. You can be friendly, but not FRIENDS with your child and only when they behave well. You must be the parent first. Too many parents only want to be buddies with their child and thenn find out they have messed up and their child has become a terror! If you only want a friend, get a dog! Kids need parenting. Kids ARE gifts and we should be responsible to take care of them. There do have to be rules to follow for them to do better as adults in this world? And those have to be taught. They have to be taught to have decent manners and follow the laws, etc...But there should never be abuse. Only mentoring and good guidance. (Role-modeling helps tons.) A parent should always be a parent FIRST and they can be loving and fair, yet firm in insisting the child behave well. If the child behaves, then the parent can be friendly..but not the friend. If the child does NOT behave though then the parent MUST take away priviledges, like the internet, phone, toys the child loves, etc..or restrict the child to the home until the child consents to behave and means it. -Not just a quick lip service!(They can get their frinds from school, if the friends they pick also behave, etc..Put the child in baseball, scouts, etc..watch the friends and make sure they are all behaving and parent monitored.) Kids want to please their parents. If you have to be strick sometimes because the child behaves poorly, then step up. It is YOUR responsibility. And of course..sometimes the child will feel you are unfair and will feel bad. But when they are good and you praise them and hug them and play with them..they'll be really happy! It is this that gives the child the INCENTIVE to behave well more often than they don't! even when you restrict your child for bad behaviour..you still love them. Otherwise you would not be guiding them to behave better, right? But parenting is not for the light hearted. Nothing is wrong wiht being firm, yet fair, wiht a child. And someties they may not like ti, but that's tough. Parenting means sometimes having to say "NO." And no has to mean it each and every time..not maybe. Trust me..the better behaved your child is, the more others and you will nejoy being around them, so it IS better for you and the child for you to sometims set down your foot hard and make the boundries firm! It is not abuse to parent your child and sometimes have to take away things they like becasue they misbehave. I do not believe in hitting. But ..it's what parenting is. Set the mark high and the child will grow up straight and strong and be a better adult. And make sure, if you can, to always keep them around positive folks, like people putting on plays, sports, gettngthem to paly a musical instrument, etc..and even if they think you are stirict then..give a few chores to make sure they have responsibility. No one likes doing things they sometimes have to do. Being firm is going to make your child see alter you only wanted the best for them. You ae her one ally in this world thye should trust to help tham find a nice life later. Parenting is tough. If you do not like that..do not have kids. (That's OK too. Not everyone does?)

good day...Yes I think we shouldn't be too harsh with them specially when it's their first offense. We really need to understand their environment and their peers. I think we should guild them and understand them at the same time and also be sensitive to what they're feeling..

i thik u can carry anything too far but i do think that you need to use a certain amount of strictness w/children. you have to teach them to behave, have manners, how to act etc. it is all up to the parents to do this & alot of them don't. bad children are the example on how their parents raised them.

it depends. if it is a safety issue like not leaving the house without letting me know, i will be strict. otherwise, they have choices. pending on the age range of the children, offering them choices is a fantastic idea. it helps them build their confidence.

Well, it is Good to have Rules and such for your children that are important to follow, but at the same time especially as they get older, you need to have some flexability, and allow them some Freedom as well. When you give them no freedom you are not allowing them time to grow up and learn things on their own, and could have problems in the future with them doing things you do not want them to do, just because of you being too strict with them in the first place. On the other hand, you do not need to be too leniant either, and let them do anything not caring about them, or what happens to them in the process either. You need balance or something in between to help show them you care about them, but not going to be holding a brick over their head all of their life as well.

I think the modern teaching method doesn't agree to the strict way. I prefer to be reasonable. Being very strict will somewhat hurtful to the children. And I am afraid the children won't understand it and cause the worse result. I love China

never and never we should scold a child or his/ her mistake. Its very very bad. They are innocent and most of the time they even don't know that they are doing mistake. I only scold my children when they make big mistake like trying to play with working electrical devices etc without realizing that it could give them an electrical shock. I scold them to realize that electricity is very dangerous and their parents does not like it at all that they play with it.

Dear antony2best, being strict does not mean you are being harsh. You can be strict without being harsh. I agree we should not be harsh with children because during the growing up years they are most impressionable and if you do not treat them the proper way, it will affect how they turn out as adults. But we should be strict in the proper way in the sense that in those things where they should be taught the proper way to behave, to think and act to deal with other people, we be firm and say no when they do otherwise. We be firm and not allow behavior that is not proper. We be firm in saying no to their desires when we know that it is not good for them. We should not give in to their crying or pouting or misbehavior if what they want is not granted. You know the saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child" But i'm not espousing using the belt or whip or lash on them. Just be firm in saying no when saying yes is not for their own good at all.You may hurt their feelings now and your own too when you discipline them but this will spare you tears and sorrow in the future because if you discipline them properly your children will grow up to be fine and outstanding adults.

Let's define strictness. In my opinion, it is a form of discipline to create a better person in us. In cases with children, strictness like you see in adults are different. we are strict because we care. We have reasons like correcting their bad attitude so that they will not grow like that. There is a saying that explains like this, in order for us to striaghten a branch, do it when its young. An old bended branch will never be straighten but a young one can be. Children are growing people. They don't know anything yet. They are like what monkey see, monkey do. What ever they see from old people they will certainly copy. In their minds, its good because old people are doing it. In my opinion, it is good to be strict with children because you are helping them to grow up to be a good citizen. But being strict like beating them is not good. Discipline/be strict with a good reason. Take care =)

To some degree, yes I do think we have to be strict with our children. We love our children and want them to grow up to be good, loving citizens so yes, sometimes we have to be strict to teach them or to keep them safe. But we need to use good sense about it and know the difference in being strict and being cruel or mean to you child. I certainly don't believe in abusing a child, and there is entirely too much of that happening still. But we as parents are responsible for our children and we have to be parents to them. Some parents want so bad to be their child's best friend that they forget to be a parent. But above all we do need to give them lots and lots of love.

I think you can be loving and strict at the same time. My parents were strict....no, my dad was harsh, my mom was strict. But, my mom never smacked us around or beat us or anything like that. You know the saying, Walk softly and carry a big stick? That was my mom, in a way. She walked softly and, her big stick was "that look" that all mom's get from time to time. She didn't yell at us when she told us to do something. She didn't even yell at us when we didn't do what she had told us to do in the first place. She would just step in, look at us, turn and walk to her room, shutting the door behind her and, I don't remember her ever slamming it, either. We knew when she did this. we were in trouble. We did as we were told. When we were teens, she allowed us to make our own decisions and our own mistakes but, she expected us to do as we were told. My dad yelled from the get go. Regardless the situation, he came in, barrels blazing. Heavy leather belt in one hand and his voice booming through the house. My dad is not a big man, never has been but, when he yelled, we stopped whatever we were doing and tried to hide. His solution to everything was to beat the crap out of us with that leather belt. It didn't matter how major or minor the offense, he beat us. This, to me is the difference in strict and harsh. Strictness can give a child structure and show they are cared for and loved. Harshness in words and in actions can scar a child for life, making it very hard to function to his full potential as an adult. I had a strict parent and, I had a harsh parent. Which do you think I respect more in my adult life? I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and, we all turned out to be well adjusted, well rounded adults. I credit this to my mom's strictness. We knew she loved us, she showed us that in lots of ways and, being strict on us was just one of those ways.

I agree with some of the other responses. that the has to be a little bit of strictness. Why do you think this world is like it is. Kids runnin around shooting each other. I was brought up "spare the rod, spoil the child" And quiet frankly I turned out just fine. I never got into serious trouble and knew what was expected of me. Now, kids don't get any punishment due to fear of getting them taken away and look what happend, school shootings, theft, higher numbers of teen pregnancy. You were give children to teach them wrong from right, not to let them, run free and kill someone. IMO, I think being stern and strict with them teaches them values and morals, or it did me. That's what we need in this day and age, is strong beliefs, instead of babies killing babies............

You have to be strict with children. That is how they learn the ground rules. You cannot let them get away with things and there are things that if they go and do them as they want to, will wind out hurting themselves. Sometimes they need to be taken away from the situation. Oh and when your parents told you not to do something and you went ahead and did it anyway and they slapped your hand, did you do it again? If they had said Tony please don't do it, and tried to explain why you should not and you were two years old at the time, would you have said yes? Of course not because you are two years old at the time.

I think there can be a balance between harsh and discipline. A swat on the behind won't scar a child for life. It will let them know when you mean business though, provided you don't use it as the means for discipline.

We can be strict to our children in a nice way we can by telling them not to do this and explain how it will harm her and why its not good for them to do this and that.As parents we always love and protect our children as much as we can.So if we restrict them from doing something it means that it is for their own good.I know children nowadays are stubborn and they tend to do whatever they want to do thats why sometimes parents need to be strict but some never respect them.

I personally feel that one should not be that strict with children. My husband and I have never been really strict with our children and our kids are great kids. They have always been good in public and are respectful to their elders. I think treat them like you would like to be treated. But at the same time remember that they are children and discipline them when they do need it. I love my kids and am very proud of them.

Wow. This is a pretty tough question. Everyone has very conflicting views on this im sure. But Im not sure how to answer. I don't have kids. But I think to a certain level there should be some kind of boundaries with kids. They need to feel like the parents trust them, but to some extent, the kids need limits and some discipline. I believe that kids will only act out more when they are placed under strict scrutiny and close watch. They need time to make their own mistakes and their own lives. But within reason of course.

certainly, our children are our most precious possessions; hence, they deserve our love, respect, and utmost care. making them feel loved and valued not only makes them love and respect us in return, but also boosts their confidence in themselves and their respect for others and the world out there. on the other hand,loving them does not mean giving in to their whims and caprices, literally and figuratively giving in to the candy or ice cream they want... anytime...all the time simply because they would throw tantrums or cry miserably if refused. explaining patiently, creatively, and lovingly that the sweets would create big and painful holes in their teeth; using toys or stories to distract them from the craving, and making them realize the importance of developing strong and healthy teeth would be hitting two monsters with one stone.in the long run, we would be teaching them to develop good teeth, as well as to accept a reasonable "no." without hurting them verbally nor physically, we can teach them values. for instance, respect, especially for elders. we can always insist on a "please" to introduce every request; a "yes, mommy," to every answer; a "sorry, daddy" to every mistake.these expressions go a long way in molding respectful (and respectable) children, later,teenagers, and adults. a little smile, a gentle tone and voice work greater wonders than the angry voice, the unpalatable word, and the threatening belt.and the children will always love you, respect you; not fear you, or worse hate you.