Love Marriage VS Arrange Marriage
By Ricky007
@Ricky007 (512)
4 responses
@bansalsakshi (208)
• India
11 Jul 08
it has been rightly said that marriage is sacred destitution not a contract.the beautiful faces and handsome people may attract you or even infactuate you.arrange marriage means seeking the expertise of our parents who are the best judge and will choose the right match so i think arrange marriage is better than the love marriage
3 people like this
@AnnaB7 (756)
• United States
11 Jul 08
This is true only if we have good parents who have our best interest at heart not everyone does,
Also I agree that sometimes an older person can help us to make a wiser choice in marriage than what we would make if we did not have their cousel.
It is good to not just marry someone because that we can, it is better to marry someone who is a good match for us. And sometimes we need to seek counsel from others, but we need to remember to always seek good cousel.
There are some who would not give counsel that is good, because some people including some parents are just not wise in their counsel, if that is true for you it is better to seek the counsel from someone who would be kind in their counsel who did have our best interest at heart.
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@bansalsakshi (208)
• India
11 Jul 08
i totally agree with you that it depends on wwho arrange the marriage but in india mostly the marriage is arranged by parents.
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@AnnaB7 (756)
• United States
11 Jul 08
It is good that the majority of parents in India are able to pick good mates for their children.
For me I would not trust my parents as they were both very abusive to me when I was growing up. They have both caused me lots of grief and hurt me in many ways.
I don't think most people do not have truly abusive parents. Or parents who are controlling as mine are.
I do care for my parents but they have always been very difficult people. And that is sad, but I can not please them I have tried for many years. So I know it is impossible.
Anyway, it is good when parents are able to find good mates for their children and are supportive of their children when their children do get married. It is also good when the children are able to help the parents in their old age even if the parents were very difficult. Although sometimes it can be hard.
But even if we have difficult parents we should always be good to them as much as possible. Because our own children are watching how we treat our parents. It is wise for our children to see us be kind to even difficult people, so they know it is possible to be kind to even those who are very difficult. Because our children can see when we act differently than those who are difficult. There are plenty of bad examples in this world, our children need to see good examples.
Some parents can arrange good marriages because they really do care about their children and really do want the best for them, but sadly not all parents really care.
1 person likes this
@piasabird (1737)
• United States
11 Jul 08
We do not have arranged marriages in the U.S. We have free will to marry whomever we want to and usually it's for love. However it doesn't always last.
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@AnnaB7 (756)
• United States
11 Jul 08
Some families do still have arranged marriages in the United States but it is very rare I think.
But it does happen in this country, and for some people it works very well but for others not so well, the same as for the ones who choose their own mates,
It is my opinion though based on those I have known who have had arranged marriages that they have usually worked out fairly well. I have several relatives who have been married for many years who had arranged marriages, even one aunt that had an arranged marriage with someone who did not speak the same language as her, the last I heard she had been married for over 30 years. She never did learn to speak his language but they did have a large family.
They lived in Florida the last I heard, it has been several years since I have heard from them. This was one of my older aunts.
My sister on the other hand had a friend arrange a marriage for her, and it has not lasted, but then neither have any of her other relationships either, she can just be very hard to live with I think.
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@AnnaB7 (756)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I think it depends on who does the arranging and how well they know you. Sometimes arranged marriages will work and last a very long time and even be happy and fullfilling marriages but other times these types of marriages are not.
And sometimes when people think they are marrying for love they are really just marry for lust. It is a good idea to try to get to know someone well before you get married.
But I think very long engagements are not really a good thing. I think that the longer you wait the less likely you are to really get married.
I only knew my husband two weeks before I was married to him, we have been married for almost 21 years now. At first we used to fight a lot, but we neither one believe in divorce, so we stayed together and now we get along pretty well. We rarely argue any more so that is good.
My cousin is the one who picked out my husband for me, and so far it has seemed to work out fairly well for the most part.
I would not accept a marriage that was arranged if the person arranging the marriage was in anyway trying to be controlling or mean towards you because you could end up with a bad match. And have lots of trouble along the way. If you accept an arranged marriage make sure that the person who is arranging things for you is someone who really understands you and what you like and don't like, because then maybe you will have a good marriage.
There have been a lot of arranged marriages in my daddy's family that have worked. My sister however allowed a friend to arrange a marriage for her, and that has not worked out at all, So you do need to be careful.
@matola (32)
• Tanzania
11 Jul 08
Ricky,i was always a believer of true love and i married the man i was deeply in love with.After 20 years of marriage
and going through highs and lows, he got a well paying job and all of a sudden he was cheating on me,only a quota of his pay was coming home and 3 quotas was going to booze and concubines. Earlier my mother had suggested i marry another guy .Now i realize that she had more insight than me at the time,so if you are not the stubborn kind,realize that the older people are more experienced than us and that security,respect and commitment can grow into love.
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