Do you spank your kids when they accidentally wet themselves?

@snoopy04 (718)
United States
July 11, 2008 10:20pm CST
My husband and I were at a restraunt over the weekend and we saw something that just made us shake our heads. Across from us was a table with two little boys and their parents and I am assuming some of their friends. Well the two little boys were probably about three or four and were well behaved. They were just sitting there listining to the conversations around them. I made a point to my husband that one little boy looked like he needed to go potty. He was squirming in his seat with his hands in his lap. He had a weird look on his face like he was very uncomfortable. He kept trying to get his moms attention but she was talking really ;oud and totally ignoring him. The dad was also tuning out his kids as well. I noticed the little boy stopped squirming and his face turned red. Well when they finally decided to leave the mom looked down at the little boy, turned him around and spanked him on his bottom. Then she started yelling how much trouble he was in and how emabarrased she was. They left and I asked the waiter what hapend and he said the little boy we himself and the mom freaked out. I couldnt believe she spanked him just because he had a accident. If anyone needed a spanking it was her. She and her husband ignored the little boy so what else could he do. My daughter Nicki is three and we are potty training her so I do alot of laundry. She is doing really good but she does have accidents. I have accidents sometimes. But I dont believe in spanking a child just because the wet themselves. What do you think, did that little boy really deserve a spanking? I say no, what about you?
8 people like this
16 responses
@lucy02 (5015)
• United States
12 Jul 08
That poor little boy. I can only imagine how embarrassed he was. No he didn't deserve a spanking. I do believe in spanking a child when they deserve it but he did not. Its interesting that you noticed this child and how uncomfortable he was and they didn't, neither one of them. If they are that could endanger the children. With small children you have to watch them closely, not tune them out.
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
12 Jul 08
You would be suprised at how many parents I see tune their kids out. I watch my kids a little to close but because my son Logan is autistic I find that I notice alot more than most parents. My friends tell me I have eyes in the back of my head the way I notice things lol.
1 person likes this
@AJ1952Chats (2332)
• Anderson, Indiana
17 Jul 08
I'm going to take this a step further to say that these parents were, I suspect, intentionally sadistic. In short, BULLIES! Imo, they both knew what was going on with their son and were intentionally ignoring him so that he would have an accident and give them an excuse to "discipline" him. Social services should have been alerted to keep an eye on that family, because the parents sound like sociopathic parents from hell!!!
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
15 Jul 08
This is unkind, and it is barbaric. What good is it going to do the child if you spank them when they make a mistake they can't avoid. It is especially bad that the parents were basically ignoring this child when he was obviously in need. Poor baby.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
15 Jul 08
I say no, as well. Since the little boy was trying to get the adults' attention it sure wasn't his fault that he didn't get to the restroom to use the toilet. I agree that the mother should be spanked, not only for spanking him, but for ignoring him throughout the dinner. When children are that small, they do have accidents all the time and if the parents are not going to pay attention to them when they are out somewhere, they sure can't punish them for not getting to the restroom.
@Muelitz (1592)
• Canada
12 Jul 08
As if they can change the situation by spanking the child. The problem is with the parents. They should have known that their child is not yet potty trained so they have prepared by making the child wear diapers. It is as simple as that. It is a no,no to spank children in public places.
@Hayley_N (525)
• Argentina
12 Jul 08
Never. This will only teach them to be more anxious about potty training and going to bed, because they will be worrying about what will happen if they have an accident. They can't be blamed for these little mishaps, so don't punish them. Just focus on the times they get it right, with a sticker chart- a sticker every time they use the potty correctly, and wake up in the morning having not wet the bed, and a treat for every time they get, say, 10 stickers. This would be a far better way to go about things.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
12 Jul 08
No, I don't think spanking is appropriate for accidents at all. It shocks me how many parents do this though. I am still having trouble with my 5 year old because this was the method his aunt used with him...she babysat for a time and took it upon herself to try to train him but that's a different story. In the case you saw, it was even more inappropriate because it was the parents' fault he had the accident...not that they realize that obviously, since they were too busy ignoring the child to know what was going on in the first place.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jul 08
No...Never! Kids have accidents. Heck, so do adults. Spanking is not going to help the problem at all. From the sounds of it, the mother may have been to blame anyway. You should praise them when they do well and excercise some patience when they don't. Also some children have small kidneys and /or have not yet developed the ability to hold it for any length of time.
@moneyandgc (3428)
• United States
12 Jul 08
No way! That is one thing that I can't stand! Kids tell their parents over and over again that they need to use the bathroom and get ignored. Then they can't hold it anymore and the parent has the audacity to get mad at the child! Ugh! I don't know what is wrong with people sometimes!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jul 08
snoopy that mom should be paddled for being so inattentive to her kid's needs. no kids should never be spanked for wetting tghemselves. my lord how unkind and stupid too. Parents should learn to listen to their kids when the kids need to go potty and save everyone from such scenes. that mom was way out of line, completely.
@kezabelle (2974)
12 Jul 08
No she shouldnt have smacked him, im a great beleiver in always listening to my children they know they should wait and be polite if im talking but still im always aware if their need for my attention is greater than me finishing my conversation I actually find it appalling that the little boy felt he couldnt just say but mum i need a wee thats what my daughter would do if ive asked her to wait while im talking. We should always listen to our children especially while out if she doesnt want a situation like that. My daughter has had accidents when first toilet training and no ive never smacked her wont get anyone anywhere in my opinion and like I say now she is 4 she doesnt have accidents probably because she knows that even if im talking and asked her to wait while im talking, that im still always aware of her needs and still listening with half an ear.
• United States
12 Jul 08
First of all if the parents didn't want to interact or pay attention to the kids they should of gotten a babysitter. That poor little boy tried to tell his parents but they would not little it is not the little boys fault it is the parents because they were ignoring him. He should not of gotten a spanken for that. My daughter is three and we are trying to potty train she does ok one day and the next day she won't want to use the potty and just want to wet herself but i just keep encouraging her to use the potty. I never make a big deal of it because she is a kid and i am letting her be the boss in that department most of the time.
12 Jul 08
Hello snoopy04, I am very to say this but these people don't deserve to have children should always pay attention to their children's needs I can't stand parents like as if they nver done that in their life. Poor kids,yes she needs to be told off. Tamarafireheart.
• United States
12 Jul 08
No!! That child should not have been spanked. I have a 7 and a 9 year old that sometimes need to be reminded to go to the bathroom. That is not to say that they aren't potty trained at there ages, but when I see them doing the infamous pee pee dance, I remind them to stop what they are doing go. A child at 3 or 4 constantly needs to be reminded and the parents are at fault for not paying better attention to the childs cues. If they weren't so wrapped up in themselves thay would be better able to respond to their childs needs.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
12 Jul 08
wow thats pretty bad. there is no way she should have spanked him. i have given my daughter a swat on the but once or twice for peeing in her pants but when she did it it wasn't an accident. it was her not wanting to stop playing long enough to go to the bathroom. but even that it was just a light tap on her butt, not smacking her and screaming at her. i feel so bad for that poor little boy. sounds like his parents probably treat him and his brother like crap.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
12 Jul 08
Hi snoopy, As I was reading this, I wanted to spank that parents...they are very insensitive! If they were good parents, they can feel right away what's the needs of the kids! It doesn't mean she can't talk with a friend but of course they have to glance the kids once in a while! I pity for the baby and I wish those parents will grow up!