How do I get over the trauma?

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12 years ago I attended a wake and the funeral of our family friend and her child who died from smoke inhalation from a house fire. The mother was in her 30s and her little boy was only 4. They were in the coffin together and I was curious and I even looked and stroked their faces, hair, and held the little boy's hand and there were even toys in the coffin for the little boy. Everyone else was sad and grieving loudly and the husband/father was numb like a vegetable. I was numb and curious back then so I didn't even shed tears. Off and on through the years and until recently, I still get traumatized from looking at them together in the casket, to where I can't even eat because I looked and held them. How do I get over the trauma any tips? It seems to go away but the trauma keeps coming back. Anybody experience the same thing?