What would you do in this situation?
By monika71801
@monika71801 (240)
United States
November 3, 2006 8:25pm CST
I have a friend that I have been a little bit, more than normally irritated with. She continues to want to talk to me about a situation that I have given her endless counts of advice. Although, she has never taken any of the advice she still wonders why she is in this situation. We work together and are also friends outside of work. How do you tell someone like this that you just don't want to hear about it anymore without hurting their feelings? Please HELP!
1 person likes this
5 responses
@prncesssly (1373)
• United States
6 Nov 06
I guess I would just talk to her about it once more. Address her concerns and whatnot... and then when the conversation is over, just tell her that's all the advice you have for her and since you have given her this advice more than once... just say that you really don't think you'd like to discuss it anymore. Tell her that you're glad she's your friend and whatnot but tell her that if she can't take your advice on it that she should ask a professional from now on. And then just say "no offense" at the end :)
1 person likes this
@monika71801 (240)
• United States
6 Nov 06
:-D thanks! I think we've gone down that road but in a sense I feel obligated to listen even if I'm not giving her advice. At this point all she is getting is a blank stare during the conversation. LOL
@monika71801 (240)
• United States
6 Nov 06
I wish it was that easy. I still want to be her friend & would help her out, however, this is really affecting our friendship because I don't want to beat her across the head with more advice I know she is not going to take!
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
6 Nov 06
I would tell her that you have run out of ideas to give her on her issues. I take it that she kees asking for advice that she will never take.... this means she is only doing it for attention. Clearly she knows what to do by now, but would rather gather pity than act. or you that poses a problem because you have to work with her.
Other than tell her that you are out of ideas. You could tell her that since you run out of ideas you can't help her any more with it. Tell her that she has changed since these issues because all she talks about is these issues and you miss the old her.... Tell her that you want to get back to the easy conversation you once had and that you wish she would follow some advise so she can stop being so uncomfortable. If you make it like you want her to stop because you are concerned for her maybe she will talk about it less....
Good luck
1 person likes this
@monika71801 (240)
• United States
6 Nov 06
Thanks...I guess by being irritated with the whole thing that I failed to look at the big picture. Thanks for your tips!
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
6 Nov 06
I would tell her that you have run out of ideas to give her on her issues. I take it that she kees asking for advice that she will never take.... this means she is only doing it for attention. Clearly she knows what to do by now, but would rather gather pity than act. or you that poses a problem because you have to work with her.
Other than tell her that you are out of ideas. You could tell her that since you run out of ideas you can't help her any more with it. Tell her that she has changed since these issues because all she talks about is these issues and you miss the old her.... Tell her that you want to get back to the easy conversation you once had and that you wish she would follow some advise so she can stop being so uncomfortable. If you make it like you want her to stop because you are concerned for her maybe she will talk about it less....
Good luck
1 person likes this
@Chrissy316 (46)
• United States
6 Nov 06
I think you've done all that you can to help your friend. I would just nicely say that you've given her all of the advice that you have to give & that you don't know what else to tell her. If she gives you an attitude I would also mention that you've given her a lot of advice already & that she hasn't taken any of it. Good Luck!
