how would i make my new boyfriend feel loved?
@prettyrose529 (93)
Philippines
July 14, 2008 12:54am CST
hi! i just recently got into a new relationship. and having been single and unattached for a long time made me totally independent of anyone and self-centered. now that i have a boyfriend, i find it a little bit hard adjusting into the relationship and to be selfless, to not think of myself too much, and to think of him first. i'd like to know, mylot users, how would i let my boyfriend know and make him feel that i love him? what are the "small things" or gestures that i could do to show him i care for him?
2 people like this
5 responses
@Adeliza1220 (877)
• United States
14 Jul 08
Make sure u don´t over whelm him too much early in the relationship, because some guys get annoyed.. but surprise him with small details such as his favorite treats, text messages, post its, guys juss like to know and be reminded that there is someone who cares about them.. every guy is different so you need to pay close attention to what it is that they like and don´t like. You need to learn that it´s two now and not one together you both can build a great relationship and become a great team.
@prettyrose529 (93)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
thanks. :) thanks for the advice that i shouldn't overwhelm him too early in the relationship. i'm afraid that because i'm so eager to let him know i love him, i might overdo it. thanks so much again for the reminder.
2 people like this
@Adeliza1220 (877)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I am not the expressive type of person either but i am sure that you will find ways to get is attention and remind him that he is loved... guys at times can be a little difficult a times so just be patient and put the effort that you can.
3 people like this
@prettyrose529 (93)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
thanks. i think i'm having a hard time spending time with him as i always would like to go home early in the evening because i always think that i have to wake up early in the morning to go to work. gee, it really does take an effort, huh?
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
15 Jul 08
Don't ever give up your independence. Show your boyfriend you loe him by LOVING him, not by depending on him. Show him that you are thinking of him. Liste to what he says, and have open honest discussions. My husband loves me because I am independent and somewhat "self" centred. My husband is a ery selfless man who let himself get taken adanae of, and my self centred nature is what he needs to learn how to put himself first.
We sill think of eachother, but we care for ourselves, and the other person EQUALLY!!!
1 person likes this
@prettyrose529 (93)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
wow, thanks for the advise. i thought that guys love to be depended upon. i just learned it's the other way around. or maybe it depends on the guy? some would like girls to be independed and some would want that they cling on to them?
@jvyyuie (83)
• China
15 Jul 08
well honestly i think that he still loves yu but now that you guys are actually a coule i think that it is kind of making things harder. because when you are best friends with someone you love them but it is like a brother or sister type of love. now that you and him are boyfriend and girlfriend it is the love a man is suppose to love women like or mother father type of love.now that he should call you most of the time should try to make you happy should be there for you its harder for him. see when you were best frineds wiht him you guys did it because you wanted to now that you are boyfriend and girlfriend you should do it and now not that he does not want to do to but maybe he does not feel like it. that goes wiht the sayong dont fall in love fall in like. when a woman or man loves you they will do anything for you. but when someone is suppose to love you they are a lot lesswilling to do certain things for you. i just think that you should talk to him. i wish you louck and hope everything works out for you.
@1337speak (170)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
"Acknowledge and accept"
Let him feel that you're there and acknowledge him for who he is... and if there's a misunderstanding or a problem, COMMUNICATE immediately. Guys are not mind readers and some are as dense as rock.
2 people like this
@prettyrose529 (93)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
thanks for replying. i think this is another thing i'm having a hard time with. i don't communicate as much as i'd like to. i mean, we do talk and have fun talking with each other about personal stories and such, but, like you said, when there's a misunderstanding or a problem, we don't really talk about it immediately or in person. how would i open the lines of communication?
2 people like this
@1337speak (170)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
It depends on the people involved whether to talk about issues immediately or not. In some cases, it's even best not to talk about issue immediately as in cases of heated anger and such. The best way to open communication lines I believe is being open yourself. In effect, you are telling your partner to be open. Upon opening up to your partner, especially on sensitive subjects, always keep yourself composed and never act judgmental. Nothing will come out in an argument if both of you blame each other. If worse comes to worst, seek first to understand, then to be understood.
2 people like this
@prettyrose529 (93)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
thanks for that. sometimes, i already know what to do and what is the right thing to do but i just have to be reminded of it. i agree that sometimes is better not to talk immediately (like what you said in the heat of the argument) and just allow things to mellow for a while. that way, you tend to avoid further argument because when you're at the top of your emotions, you might say something hurtful or unkind towards your boy/girlfriend, and that would make things worse. sometimes, you wouldn't even mean it, it's just that you were able to said it because you were upset at that time.
1 person likes this
